Okay - I wasn't planning on blogging today because my hubby is off of work. Don't ask me where this particular logic came from, but I generally save my blogging for days that there are fewer people here - even though it makes sense that if Scott is here, I will have less interruptions and more time to write. Go figure. Anyway, I was really planning on leaving my keyboard alone today, but Scott is still snoozing, Tyler's off to school and the munchkins have decided to begin their day by lounging in their pjs and watching Star Wars - the original. Seems like a good opportunity to put pen to paper, er - fingers to keys? And I'm really perplexed today about something stupid and little and need to vent it out, I guess.
So what has me stirred up this morning? Missing stuff. I am starting to think there is a gnome in my house, running around and stealing things. Okay, I got the gnome idea from an episode of Little Bear on Nick Jr. that I was unfortunate enough to witness too much of one day when I was laying down with Riley, trying to encourage a nap. The show really annoys me because even though it's got all those great preschool ideas about sharing and friendship, etc. - I can't figure it out. The animals all run around talking and living in houses they make, but some of them are their natural habitats and some are actual houses. The bears dress in clothes that look like they are from the late 1800's, but only the adults, and no other animals wear clothes. And they run around calling each other Mother Bear and Father Bear and Grandfather Bear with no first names. I am not a fan of Barney and some of the other stuff the kids watch makes no sense to me either, but for some reason this show bugs the crud out of me. Sorry - off subject, but really? Anyway, in this episode the gnomes were stealing someones eye glasses and hiding them in a tree trunk and the characters had to ask to get them back and offer to trade other stuff for their cherished lost items.
Gnomes. Are they wandering through my house stealing things? Cuz really - I can't figure out where the stuff is running off to. My house isn't that big, it's fairly well organized and it gets cleaned sort of frequently. But I can't find the remote to the main DVD. My second set of car keys has been missing for months. And about 2 years ago, my diamond stud earrings disappeared, never to be heard from again.
I know you are thinking - you have 3 kids, 2 dogs and a cat - of course things are missing. And you are probably saying - look under furniture, check the junk drawer, have you moved the refrigerator? Believe me, I have.
The earrings disappeared after I had removed them from my lobes and put them on my dresser once upon a time. I didn't even know they were gone at first because I don't wear jewelry very often and my good stuff even less. It might have been weeks or months before I realized they were gone. And it wasn't until well after I figured out that my then 2 yr old Scooter was 'exploring' any surface he could reach by dragging a stool near to become instantly taller. He could have eaten them. He could have left them somewhere that Bella could have eaten them. He could have just dropped them behind a dresser or somewhere on the very stained carpet that we didn't see and then we vacuumed. I will never know, I guess. They were small studs, but they were a Christmas gift from Scott our first married holidays together and it makes me so sad that they are gone. And really, I can't blame Scooter entirely. He might not have made it anywhere near them. Or he might have done who knows what with them while I was nursing his baby brother and couldn't keep an eye on him every single second of the day. Or maybe the gnomes just decided they were too shiny and pretty to pass up.
I am fairly certain that the culprit for the theft - um loss - of my extra car keys is Riley. They disappeared this spring, just before I quit working. He was constantly taking our real keys to use to drive the motorized jeep in the yard because what fun is it to drive if you don't have keys? The kids probably have 10 different sets of play keys in various shapes and sizes, but they aren't nearly as fun as real keys. We tried giving him a set of real keys that we don't use anymore, but he's too smart for all that and kept grabbing at the viable, useable sets. If we dared to set our keys down in an unsecured location, they would be gone in a heartbeat. Scott had to be particularly careful about this because he really only has one key to his truck (that's a blog for another day, but suffice it to say he tends to lose keys when he goes on trips). I have one more key in my purse that's an extra (a valet key), but the extra set with the extra lock fob on it is long gone. The garage has been scoured, cleaned out and organized 3 or 4 times since they disappeared and they aren't anywhere I can find in the house. The yard has been mowed and they haven't shown up. Again, might not have been Riley - right? Could have been the gnomes.
I've learned to consider the earrings a bittersweet loss and I don't think about the keys too often since I am still able to drive my car everyday and have an emergency key if needed. But, the DVD remote, that's another story. It's only been missing for a month or so, but I can't find it anywhere. I have looked in the crevices of the couch (where remotes often wander), under couches, in drawers, behind dressers, under beds, in toy boxes and cubby baskets - I can't find it. And what are the chances that a remote somehow found itself outside of the house? We just did a pretty intense cleaning around here in preparation for a party. Almost every piece of furniture in my house was moved and vacuumed under and around - no remote. I can't even think of a reason to blame this on one of my kids so I am just going to assume that the gnomes are growing bolder.
Truthfully, I think the gnomes were strategic on the DVD remote. Because without the remote, there are certain kid DVD's that I can never change off of the first story on the disc. If there is no play all option - you have to have a stupid remote to select or change to a different story. So without it, I am forced to listen to the same 'Super Why' episode over and over again on the day the kids decide that is the movie they HAVE to watch. And sad as it is, Scott and I like to watch movies with the subtitles playing. We can't always hear the characters talking when their voices are low or they are talking too quickly. This isn't an option without a remote. It's a plot by the gnomes to push me over the edge.
It was revenge really. They found out that I didn't like Little Bear and hated their starring role episode most. They are laughing behind my back every time I go to look for something I really want to find and then they are strategically placing items that I would have liked to stay lost (like the cheap happy meal toy that makes annoying sounds or the puzzle piece that I couldn't find for a year so I got rid of the puzzle while purging only to find the damn piece 2 weeks later) in my path where I can't miss them. The gnomes hate me. They are plotting my journey to madness like it's a map and a definite inevitability.
If I could only find their storehouse - their lair. If only I knew where they were hiding, hoarding my stuff. Maybe I could negotiate a truce or a trade. Maybe I could talk them into trading my old mood ring for my earrings or all the Mexican coins that somehow have found their way into my coin jar for my keys. Maybe they would give up the location of the DVD remote if I offered them the little laser light the kids use to tease the kitten into a frenzy.
If anyone has experience negotiating with gnomes for the return of their lost treasures, let me know. I suspect though - that they are in your house too and winning there as well. After all, who do you think is really stealing one sock from the pair over and over again between the wash cycle and removing your clothes from the dryer?
Love to all and God Bless!
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