You know, when you decide to have a baby, or two, or three, there are a lot of things about the job that you probably don't think through. You think about cute onesies and baby blankets, cribs and then toddler beds, possible play dates and eventual backpacks. You might consider things like team sports, preschools and Sunday school classes, and probably a car pool here and there. Most of us, though, don't really sit down and consider the logistics of all this stuff and what makes it happen. Most of us don't actually plan out every possibility for things we might be asked to help with or administer ourselves. We're just thinking about the wonderful smell of baby shampoo and maybe even whether or not we have time to save for the Ivy League college our little geniuses will probably attend, but of course they will also be primo atheletes and be granted full rides to wherever they want to go.
It's a very long road between the bassinet and a high school diploma, one that I often realize I am navigating blindly. Along this road are so many obstacles and milestones, it's hard to keep track of it all. A common theme though is that there are helpers along the way. There are people who teach our kids and coach our kids and make school events happen. They serve our kids and us as parents from almost the beginning. Did someone bring a dinner to your home after you came home with your newborn? Did you have a friend or relative come over and rock the baby for a while in just the position they liked so that you could take a shower? Probably, or something close to it. Service - these wonderful people who help us with our kids just because they love kids and they love us. As parents we spend an awful lot of time on the receiving end of service, especially in the beginning whether or not we realize it and without having to ask for it. We show up at church and drop our kids in a nursery without questioning if there will be someone there to lovingly care for our babies, unless we were once nursery workers ourselves and know how important it is to have volunteers. We sign up for soccer and assume blithely that there will be a coach for our kids team, unless we have a penchant for athletics or our hubbies do and we're just dying for the job ourselves. We send random food and candy items to school with our kiddos on party days and are grateful that some other mom organized it and it wasn't us this time.
Eventually, even if you don't volunteer willingly and wholeheartedly, you are going to be asked to be one of these helpers. And then it's time to pay up!!! Just kidding - you are probably already serving other moms and kids in some way without realizing it and in ways that come naturally to you. I spent years rocking babies in nursery, keeping preschoolers for Sunday School and even teaching and helping coordinate VBS a couple of years, way before I had kids. I worked MDO programs and I started babysitting the very minute I turned 12. When I had Tyler, on my own, I spent more than my fair share accepting help from wherever I could get it and then when he went to day care and preschool and eventually school, I helped where I could when I could. I couldn't be at every event or field trip because I was working and then had an infant at home, but I sent cookies and cupcakes and money and help wherever I could.
I am great at the food thing - if someone is in need I am most likely going to fill the need with a meal or a dish or snacks or something like it. I am great at being the errand runner. I am good at organizing and planning. I am excellent at research. These are my natural abilities and I don't have to think very hard about how to help and when to do it. They are my comfort zone and they are talents that come in pretty handy in a crunch. Most of these keep me on the move too, which works well for my mentality.
However, I am not too good at being the person who sits still and waits, patting hands and being a shoulder. I want to be, it's just harder for me. I am also not always the best at collaborating on teams for big things because, let's face it - I just want to do it my way and your way be . . .well, you know. I am not good at evangelism and the thought of teaching a room full of 9 year olds who can question everything I say gives me nightmares, but I can handle eight 2 yr olds for an hour before I go home and drink a glass of wine. I am terrible at the neighborhood friend thing, but I am working on it and getting better at tolerating 6 kids in my house at one time in short bursts.
Anyway, you get the drift. This journey of parenthood will bring out the best in you, but also the worst. It highlights our gifts and also our shortcomings. And it often gives us a chance to grow. So where am I going with this? What has me expounding on service and talents and willingness this morning? Well, I've been asked to do several things lately that are new to me or slightly out of my comfort zone, but I'm trying really hard to stretch and contribute.
First, you should know that I am not the best school volunteer. I am definitely one of those parents that if given the choice would let all the other parents who want to help with every little thing do so and then I could keep my head buried in the sand. I've done it, I've helped, some. After I quit work at the end of my pregnancy with Scooter, I helped in the classroom for the 100th day celebration at Tyler's school. When he was in 1st grade and then in 3rd grade I went as a chaperone on some field trips. I was room mom for his 3rd grade class. And here is what I have learned through those adventures - not all moms/helpers are created equal. There are a lot of people who when they go to do this stuff really only care about their kid and aren't generally helpful to the entirety of the outing or situation. After the room mom experience, I decided that this was a job I could do with only a minor headache all year and so I will commit to doing it one time for each kid and that is all. Oh - and the older kids get, the less respectful they are of their parent/chaperone person. They don't always listen even when they are a friend of your child and that's how they got to be in your group.
I didn't even join the PTA the first couple of years Tyler was in school. Then I sent my money but only showed up to the one meeting a year that he was doing something like singing or showing off his gym skills. Let's be honest - the meetings themselves are pretty boring if there isn't some kind of show going on. And, okay, I had this irrational fear going on. I don't actually remember my mom going to too many PTA meetings over the years and then suddenly when Asheley was in elementary school she was the PTA president. I don't think she had ever served on the board before and there she was, the president. Someone bought her a gavel as a thank-you that year. I remember the gavel and the immense amount of work that she did that year. I still don't know how that happened and I strongly suspected that she had just attended a few meetings because it was a new school and then she got roped into the job. My theory was that if I avoided going to more than one meeting a year I could avoid serving on the board. I was on the PTA volunteer list and aided with little stuff when I could, but I didn't want an actual JOB.
Ha! That sounds horrible, but here's the truth of the matter - when Tyler started school I was pregnant and then I had Riley a minute later. I just couldn't do more for a long time and always knew I would get more involved as they got older. It turns out that it doesn't matter if you have ever been to a meeting or not either. It's about who you know, whether you know that you know or not!!!! LOL! Sorry, I'm giddy this morning. The PTA president this year is a woman whose daughter has been in Tyler's class almost every year. She has also been in his REACH groups and countless other things. I have been at almost every parent meeting that wasn't PTA related with this mom for 5 years. She knows ME, I guess. Last spring when I expressed concern to her at instrument night about the number of fundraisers (there were 4 last year) and could she cull that list as President, she started sounding me out about my talents and willingness to help. And then sure enough, at the first gathering before school started she cornered me 2 minutes after I walked in the door and asked me to serve.
So you are now reading the blog of the newest PTA board member with the official job of writing the PTA Newsletter. It's a quarterly gig, doesn't require a lot of heavy work - or so I was told. Turns out though, I don't just have to go to the PTA meetings every month, I also have to go to PTA board meetings each month. And volunteer. A lot. There are a bunch of jobs only board members can do and I get to do them - yay! (Insert sarcasm) Looks like I won't be attending the homecoming game for my 20th (gasp) reunion this fall after all because I will be selling tickets at the school fall carnival instead. Grandparent alert: Will need help with 2 little munchkins! I have to say, I was a little thrown by the informality of being voted in also. It was done over email and kind of non-climactic. Shouldn't there be some kind of initiation meeting and secret handshake?
Since the boys are at two different schools and I am doing the board at Tyler's this year, I opted for minimal involvement at Scooter's school. Two years from now I will have two little ones at one school and I imagine that I will be super involved, but I can only do so much right now. I told Mrs. Crump on the 2nd day of school that although I had put myself on the general volunteers list, I wouldn't be room mom or jumping in too much. I also told her that if she, personally, needed me for anything that she shouldn't hesitate to ask. She knows I have Riley and if he can come with me on the zoo field trip or to sit and help at a table on 100th day of class, I will be there. If she needs someone to cut out stuff or organize stuff at home, I will do that too. She asked if I could type since she hunts and pecks and told me she would definitely ask. I have made similar offers to Tyler's teachers over the years, let them know I was at home and would help where I could, but no one has ever taken me up on it.
Yesterday, when I picked Scooter up from school, Mrs. Crump was waving a big colorful banner type thing at me. It took me a minute to realize she was trying to get me to come and take it from her. Turned out it was pretty easy work - cutting name tags out of laminate. Don't you just love cutting laminate? It's so smooth and easy. Anyway - 23 kids, two different sets of name tags. Pretty simple. But it was day 7 of school so I imagine that I will be doing a lot more stuff for Kindergarten. I'm happy to do it though because Mrs. Crump is helping Scooter every single day in a firm, but gentle and loving way and I am grateful to her.
And then there was soccer. Those of you who know me or have been reading a while know that last year I spent the entire season coaxing, threatening and begging Scooter to do practice without crying, pouting and insisting I stand there for every single drill. The last game and a half were the only ones that I wasn't out on the field, running with my 4 year old. He wanted to play, he just wanted me to do it with him. I just wanted to be one of the moms on the sideline like everyone else. And Riley wanted to play. The director made me an example last week as far as letting moms be on the field as long as needed, especially with 3 year olds. "One game, Two games, Seven games. Mrs. Barrow got more exercise than she ever wanted to last year, but we were happy to help her son get used to playing on a team. Whatever your child needs, that's why we are here." Right. But not me, not this year! Riley might be shy for the first 5 minutes and then he is going to run around and follow that ball and I will have to physically remove him from the field when the game is over and barricade him against jumping in with Scooter's team. Scooter might require some help getting adjusted, but he'll be better this year. I am going to sit on the side lines darnit!
I was thrilled Scott was off of work yesterday and got to help with practice. He ran around with the kids playing soccer in the yard before we left and then we took 2 cars so that I had an exit strategy with Riley after his practice and also so I could go pick up a microwave stand I found on Craig's List afterwards. Immediately, this week was better than last week. Riley went right out with 'Coach Michelle' who doesn't have any kids playing, but used to play and got roped into helping since there weren't any 3 year old coaches. I spent time with Scooter, visiting with other moms and with the director. Scott and I found seats on the bleachers and settled into what is supposed to be normal. Then the director came over to us and asked a very loaded question "Would either of you be able to coach the second 3 year old team? We just can't find anyone to help and we are desperate."
"Ummmmm, yeah . . . sure" that was my response. Actually, we talked about it for a minute and decided we could do it together, sort of. Scott gave me a hard time later when I was groaning about it because I was the one who said yes, but someone has to do the job. He actually played soccer as a kid (not me) and had wanted to coach eventually, but his work schedule is awful right now and he doesn't get home until almost 7 p.m. He also works every 3rd Saturday which often gets shuffled and he can sometimes work on Saturday twice in one month. He didn't see how he could do it on his own. Most of these kids parents are first time soccer moms and dads. They don't want to jump in because they are just as nervous as their kids are. I know - I once was one of them. We have been the ones 'served' many, many times in this capacity. It is our turn to be the ones that do the serving.
Okay, here's what I was thinking - probably because my husband was actually there with me last night - Scott can handle the bulk of the coaching, I know how to handle the games when he isn't there because I was practically an assistant coach last year with Scooter, I can do the devotional part and hand out the stars (Upwards program, they are awesome, check them out) and do the email updates and reminders and I can even handle the rotation schedule. Yeah - and he can do the practice drills and stuff. I thought all of that in about a millisecond and we said yes. Scotty took over practice for half of the kids and was doing a great job while I got more information from Trish and fetched a soda for Scooter and picked up Riley's uniform.
The 3 year olds only practice for 30 minutes because they are 3. But really, their attention span maxes out at about 20 minutes. So Scott was good for a while and then he kinda lost all four kids to four different corners of the gym and wandered over to ask me for help. At that point I was trying to wrangle our very own 3 year old back to practice because all he really wanted to do was look at his new uniform and try it on. By the time we got them all rounded up we had inherited some of the other team members for our huddle and lost one of our own to her mom. I kind of gave a pep talk about what colors we would wear and kicking to the goal of that color and see you Saturday, Yay! It was pathetic.
Riley and I left and on our way to pick up the table, it occurred to me how flawed my original plan actually was. After all, it's the practices that Scott is actually going to miss every week. He'll be there for most of the games with me. But practice is at 5:30 and even if he can swing a shift switch with someone the earliest he will be there is 5:45 on some of the weeks. He is working Saturday for the first, chaotic, crazy game. I am going to be doing this job. I am going to be a 3 year old soccer coach.
I'm laughing as I write, so if you know me well you are probably rolling on the floor in hysterics at this point. Me, a coach? I am sooooo not an athlete. I didn't do much in the way of sports as a kid. One season of softball and a basketball clinic for a week one summer (laughable because at the time I was about a foot shorter than everyone else, but I still remember my 3 different types of passes and how to shoot a lay-up properly) was about the limit. I played the flute and I marched in the band and I was on the flag corps. I read and read and read some more. I was a nerd, not an athlete. And I HATE running. That was my biggest complaint last year. I like being with Scooter, but I hate to run. When I quit band in high school I still had to take one half credit of P.E. so I chose beginners tennis. I figured that was a basic skill I could use as an adult. Turned out we only worked on tennis strokes 2 days per week and spent the other 3 RUNNING. We worked on an eight minute mile and I sprained my knee running bleacher drills. The first homecoming game of my teenage life that I wasn't wearing a band uniform and I was on crutches. It totally sucked and was the longest semester of my life. Mostly because I hate running. Put some weights in my hand and I will train for hours, but please don't ask me to run.
Well, it's done now I suppose. The good news is that they are 3 year olds so they probably won't notice how little I know about coaching or drills or soccer in general. The bad news is that they are 3 year olds and getting them all to listen to me at one time is going to be a serious challenge. Oh - and Scotty and I were given matching coaches shirts as a thank-you. Yep, we'll be twinkies. It's so cute, it's sick. I got a coaches book for ideas for drills and offensive tactics, but they're 3 so if I can just come up with some basic things to work on next week for 25 minutes and then a very short devotional and pep talk I'll be doing good. I told Scotty I might have to do some research on coaching 3 year olds in soccer, after all that's the part I'm good at - right?
Oh geez - I am not going to sit down all season! I am preparing myself for Scooter's complaints already since I will be on the field with Riley, he will want me on the field with him too. I did ask him if he would be my 'helper' for coaching Riley's team. He said 'Yeah, since I already played before I can do that.' Scott is trying to switch Saturdays with someone at work, but it's Labor Day weekend so the pickings are slim. Lord, I know you put me here for a reason, but I am going to need all the help You can give me!
It's all about service, and sometimes it's our turn. Sometimes we are going to have to leave our comfort zone and jump in. I would have felt terrible turning Trish down after all we put them through with Scooter last year. They just loved us through it though and I know that they will love me through making a muck of being a coach too. I may not be doing all this stuff this year willingly and wholeheartedly. I am definitely on the 'Ummmmm, yeah . . . sure' kind of commitment level, but I will do my very, very best at the jobs I am given. I'll take any help I can get though so beware when you see me - I might put you to work cutting out name tags or something!
God Bless!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
This, That and The Other . . .
Some days, it isn't so much about what happens as what doesn't happen. We have hit a little bit of a snag in our kindergarten adventure. It's not about making friends or writing his name or learning his numbers. It's not about participating in Gym and Music (he kinda loves Music and is singing along even, or at least he says he is). The problem isn't even about getting up in the mornings and out the door or suffering through the various smells that encompass lunch time. Every day when I pick Scooter up he has a smile on his face and stories to tell me about his day. Every day he has some new discovery and has made some small accomplishment.
So what's the deal? It's simple - he has to go back every day. He's fine in the car, doesn't fight me to leave the house. He chats with his brother while we drive to the first morning drop off. He talks with me pleasantly on the way to his school. And then just about the time I make the final turn to get us to school, Scooter gets very quiet and whispers/whines something like 'I don't want to go in without you.' You see, the first day you can walk your kid all the way in the room. On the second you can guide them through their morning process and walk just inside the doorway of the classroom to say goodbye. For the rest of the first week you are allowed to walk those kids down the hall to their lockers and say goodbye. But then the niceties are over.
They call it the 'hug zone', the door that leads into the school on the kindergarten hallway. Scooter's locker is a whopping 20 feet from the door. He knew that I couldn't walk him in this week, we had prepared him. And he was fine about it, right up until the moment he was supposed to walk over the threshold yesterday. Tears, whining, more tears and clinging to my legs and body ensued. Eventually someone just had to take him from me and I saw the principal take him from her, calm him and start walking toward his teacher. And yet, when I picked him up he was happy and confident.
This morning we actually got to school a tad early and sat in the car talking about it. I asked him if he wanted to pray about walking into school on his own. This is pretty standard for us. I can give the boys all the normal platitudes about everyone being nervous or scared and first days being hard for everyone, but eventually even I will run out of words. So, we pray. We put our trust in Jesus. I thank Jesus for all the special things about that child out loud and in their hearing and then we ask Him for his help. So Scooter nodded solemnly when I asked him if he wanted to pray, but before we did so I also gave him an extra little boost. I reminded him that Jesus was with him all day, every day, even when I am not with him. I told him that Jesus knew him inside and out and even knew how many hairs were on his head, which I, as his mother, did not know. I told him Jesus had known him even longer than I had, before he was born. I told him that he could talk to Jesus quietly in his head during the day, anytime, when he was scared or lonely and Jesus would hear him and be with him. He could ask Jesus to help him be brave and He will answer. Then we prayed, got out of the car and walked to the hug zone.
It wasn't perfect, he didn't confidently walk through the door and smile and wave me off. Like I said, some days it's not about what happens. But, what did NOT happen was that tears did not fall. They were close, there was a little voice cracking and almost losing it, but he didn't cry and he didn't cling to my leg. Scooter just couldn't make himself cross the threshold. Eventually the principal called discreetly to his teacher who came and took his hand, commanded Scooter to give his mom one more goodbye hug and then took him down the hall with her. No tears. Really. It's going to be slow going with Scooter on this stuff, but I really can foresee the day that I will drive through the drop off line and he will hop out and run to the door and his class on his own. We have agreed to help the neighbors out and take Scooters buddy, Noah, to school one day this week when their schedules are a little hectic. I have my fingers crossed that this will be the day (tomorrow or Thursday??) that he will walk in without any issues since he'll be going through the door with his friend. Okay, maybe not without ANY issues, but let's say LESS issues.
Poor little guy, it just takes Scooter so long to get used to everything. I am hoping that he will adjust to soccer practice and his team more quickly than last year so I don't have to deal with any major drama this weekend at both his and Riley's first games. Of course, Scott has to work that day and my dad will be in the process of helping my sister drive her car and her stuff back from Las Vegas. I'm sorry - hadn't I mentioned that? MY SISTER IS MOVING BACK TO TEXAS!!!!! YAY! Technically, she and her husband will be living in Austin again, but it's a whole heck of a lot closer and I am absolutely thrilled that I will get to see her more than once or twice a year again. The kids are pretty pumped too and we all can't wait to spend Labor Day with her before she heads from Dallas to Austin. Anyway - my mother and I will be left to deal with both kids adjustments and games for the first round of soccer. There will be a whole lot of praying going on between now and then, let me tell you!
In other news - the weather is finally going to break a little! For all my Wisconsin readers, what that means is that our highs this weekend are ONLY going to be in the mid 90's. Really. I am pretty darned thrilled about that. Tomorrow will be day 63 this summer of over 100 degree days. That's a lot. Most of them have been in the last 2 months so it has felt like we were never going to get any relief. Yesterday and this morning we even had some overcast clouds (what's a cloud???) and a few sprinkles. Not enough to make a dent in our severe drought, but I was so thrilled I went out and just stood in the rain to remember what it feels like.
I have spent the last week preparing and then beginning my cooking/freezing process. I really hadn't planned on doing all of this at once, just cooking one-freezing one for a while so that we would have some extra meals on hand for busy week nights. However, last week I found so many great (ridiculous almost) deals on meat and dairy products which is the bulk of the ingredients for my freezable dishes that I bought enough to make my normal run. For those of you that are not familiar, my normal run is somewhere between 25 and 30 recipes which will make our family between 50 and 60 meals. I usually cook all the meals over 2 days, but generally not in the summer. This time I decided to spread the cooking out over a week so that I am only doing the cooking in the morning and by the afternoon high temperatures (and energy conservation so we don't overload our overtaxed grid) I can keep me and the house cooler and not break my back. So far I've managed 10 recipes and have 17 meals in the freezer. We've eaten 3 as I've been working. I have 18 more recipes to go, but 2 of them are actually side dishes that I will split up for a few meals and this is something new for me. I won't be able to get the exact figure until I am finished and know what I end up with in the freezer, but it's looking like about $2.75 per meal and most of those are casserole type dishes or have pasta or rice in them so sides aren't necessary. Plus my family will have healthy, home cooked meals on our busiest nights instead of frozen pizza or fast food. We'll also have some of our normal fare during the next two months to break up the monotony and also because we generally enjoy just a normal pork chop or chicken breast or roast, especially during the fall months when it starts to get cooler outside.
Riley has been a huge help to me while I have been working. Well, as much as he can be. Since I won't let him cut vegetables or raw meat with a sharp knife he has taken to using his kiddy knife to cut up strange combinations of crackers, cookies and fruit bars; he mixes them in a bowl, pops them in a pretend oven and tells me it's for Scooter or Daddy or better yet - our customers. Didn't you know I had customers? Some days that little guy follows me around helping make beds, switch out laundry (he even started trying to fold some small towels), unloading and loading the dishwasher and picking up toys around the house. He can be such a hard worker. And then he will decide that when I asked him to not walk across my freshly grouted tile it wasn't really a rule, but more like a guideline (they have been watching Pirates of the Caribbean a lot lately, they love Captain Jack Sparrow - sorry) and he just does what he wants anyway. We've had a lot of talks lately about listening to momma and doing what I say.
Speaking of tile - I guess I should show you what we've been up to around here. We spent some time fixing and patching walls and I figured out how to match my existing texture and completed that process. So, I finally got to paint. It was a big job - our kitchen, living room and hallway - ceiling and everything. I let the kids help since there weren't any concerns about drips on floors or trim or anything. They actually covered a lot more ground than I expected which put me on double time going back over their work to make sure we didn't have big paint blobs or missed spots. They wore a couple of my painting t-shirts and got a lot of paint in hair and on feet. It was a blast.
I can't tell you how much better it feels to walk out of my room each morning and into rooms that don't have cracks and are painted a new, pretty color. I liked the colors I had, don't get me wrong. But they were very brown and I had had them for over 6 years, I was ready for a change. I also was way past ready to cover up the orange brick of my fireplace. The mantle fell down when Riley was a baby so I have suffered without for a long time. I hate it most when it's time to decorate for Christmas. The plan was to tile over the thing, but then it occurred to me that if I painted it and loved it I could save some money. If I painted it and hated it, I hadn't lost anything and could still tile over it. I took that dark grey paint I used for the stripe in the boys room and painted the brick. I know you can't tell in the pictures, but our walls are now actually a light grey, they look pretty white in certain light or in the pictures, but they are grey. What do you think? I am loving it and have decided to hold off on the tile. It needs a mantle, I know, but that's coming eventually. Oh, and yes I realize I dripped primer onto my painted doors and will have to touch those up as well.
What do you think? We are kinda diggin it! So it was finally time to tile the kitchen. F-I-N-A-L-L-Y! Ok, if you didn't already know, I have lived with concrete floors in my kitchen for about 2 years. Before that there was some pretty nasty vinyl down there that had gashes and tears in it and peeled away from the base boards. The reason for that, it turns out, was that the previous owners had just laid the stuff down over the original Mustard Yellow and Olive Green Linoleum (with a seriously intricate mosaic pattern) and only laid it to the base boards without removing them. The original stuff must have went really well with the mustard yellow and doo-doo brown mini-tiles that had been the back splash in our kitchen once upon a time. Anyway - the floor that was here didn't look clean no matter what I did to it. There hasn't been a decent floor in the kitchen since I've lived here, but I have been very, very patient. And it was so worth the wait. I think I appreciate it more for the wait. Riley jumped in to help tiling too.
Don't you just love the dark stained concrete in the background? Not pretty, done on purpose and sealed stained concrete. Nasty, dark thanks to the black glue used for the ancient linoleum and dust producing unsealed concrete that I couldn't walk on barefoot 5 minutes after I mopped it because it was so nasty. Gone now! Yay! And here are the results:
Bella loves the new tile, she's always happiest when she can lay that big bulk of hers on a nice cool floor. I guess I can't get these pictures any bigger so you can't really tell it's tile in all of them, but I swear it is. There's still a ton to do: painting the window sills, re-caulking the windows on the inside, replacing the trim on my pantry and water heater doors, painting the cabinet doors above my laundry and painting the inside of the pantry, finishing the grout sealing (I ran out of my first bottle a third of the way through my dinette), and of course base moulding. I have no idea when I will be able to replace the carpet in our living room and do the moulding all the way through, but I think I'll be working on at least the kitchen walls that are not common to the main room soon. It's still a work in progress and won't be done immediately because we do this stuff slowly, when we have cash on hand to pay for it and we do it ourselves (with a lot of help from my sweet daddy). It'll get done eventually anyway.
I am absolutely thrilled with how much we have gotten done in the past month and a half. I love walking on my new tile floor, it's so pretty. Actually, it's kind of dirty in these pictures because the dogs tracked mud in yesterday (there was mud!!! from some rain!!!!) and I absolutely refuse to use the nasty old mop that's been cleaning that concrete on the new pretty floors. I'll buy a new mop this week and get cracking - right after I finish sealing the grout.
I'm off to do some more cooking and then take my hubby to pick up his truck. Can you believe it? One year after we replaced the engine AND the radiator, the radiator went out - again. At least it's under warranty and wasn't a major expense. Soccer practice again tonight - please pray that the boys handle it better with Scotty there with us. Busy weekend ahead with parties and visits with friends and family. And oh yeah - Tyler officially moved into the YOUTH GROUP (yikes!) at church this past Sunday. He will be going to his first Wednesday night worship and bible study tomorrow night, we're so excited.
Love to all - Have a great week!
So what's the deal? It's simple - he has to go back every day. He's fine in the car, doesn't fight me to leave the house. He chats with his brother while we drive to the first morning drop off. He talks with me pleasantly on the way to his school. And then just about the time I make the final turn to get us to school, Scooter gets very quiet and whispers/whines something like 'I don't want to go in without you.' You see, the first day you can walk your kid all the way in the room. On the second you can guide them through their morning process and walk just inside the doorway of the classroom to say goodbye. For the rest of the first week you are allowed to walk those kids down the hall to their lockers and say goodbye. But then the niceties are over.
They call it the 'hug zone', the door that leads into the school on the kindergarten hallway. Scooter's locker is a whopping 20 feet from the door. He knew that I couldn't walk him in this week, we had prepared him. And he was fine about it, right up until the moment he was supposed to walk over the threshold yesterday. Tears, whining, more tears and clinging to my legs and body ensued. Eventually someone just had to take him from me and I saw the principal take him from her, calm him and start walking toward his teacher. And yet, when I picked him up he was happy and confident.
This morning we actually got to school a tad early and sat in the car talking about it. I asked him if he wanted to pray about walking into school on his own. This is pretty standard for us. I can give the boys all the normal platitudes about everyone being nervous or scared and first days being hard for everyone, but eventually even I will run out of words. So, we pray. We put our trust in Jesus. I thank Jesus for all the special things about that child out loud and in their hearing and then we ask Him for his help. So Scooter nodded solemnly when I asked him if he wanted to pray, but before we did so I also gave him an extra little boost. I reminded him that Jesus was with him all day, every day, even when I am not with him. I told him that Jesus knew him inside and out and even knew how many hairs were on his head, which I, as his mother, did not know. I told him Jesus had known him even longer than I had, before he was born. I told him that he could talk to Jesus quietly in his head during the day, anytime, when he was scared or lonely and Jesus would hear him and be with him. He could ask Jesus to help him be brave and He will answer. Then we prayed, got out of the car and walked to the hug zone.
It wasn't perfect, he didn't confidently walk through the door and smile and wave me off. Like I said, some days it's not about what happens. But, what did NOT happen was that tears did not fall. They were close, there was a little voice cracking and almost losing it, but he didn't cry and he didn't cling to my leg. Scooter just couldn't make himself cross the threshold. Eventually the principal called discreetly to his teacher who came and took his hand, commanded Scooter to give his mom one more goodbye hug and then took him down the hall with her. No tears. Really. It's going to be slow going with Scooter on this stuff, but I really can foresee the day that I will drive through the drop off line and he will hop out and run to the door and his class on his own. We have agreed to help the neighbors out and take Scooters buddy, Noah, to school one day this week when their schedules are a little hectic. I have my fingers crossed that this will be the day (tomorrow or Thursday??) that he will walk in without any issues since he'll be going through the door with his friend. Okay, maybe not without ANY issues, but let's say LESS issues.
Poor little guy, it just takes Scooter so long to get used to everything. I am hoping that he will adjust to soccer practice and his team more quickly than last year so I don't have to deal with any major drama this weekend at both his and Riley's first games. Of course, Scott has to work that day and my dad will be in the process of helping my sister drive her car and her stuff back from Las Vegas. I'm sorry - hadn't I mentioned that? MY SISTER IS MOVING BACK TO TEXAS!!!!! YAY! Technically, she and her husband will be living in Austin again, but it's a whole heck of a lot closer and I am absolutely thrilled that I will get to see her more than once or twice a year again. The kids are pretty pumped too and we all can't wait to spend Labor Day with her before she heads from Dallas to Austin. Anyway - my mother and I will be left to deal with both kids adjustments and games for the first round of soccer. There will be a whole lot of praying going on between now and then, let me tell you!
In other news - the weather is finally going to break a little! For all my Wisconsin readers, what that means is that our highs this weekend are ONLY going to be in the mid 90's. Really. I am pretty darned thrilled about that. Tomorrow will be day 63 this summer of over 100 degree days. That's a lot. Most of them have been in the last 2 months so it has felt like we were never going to get any relief. Yesterday and this morning we even had some overcast clouds (what's a cloud???) and a few sprinkles. Not enough to make a dent in our severe drought, but I was so thrilled I went out and just stood in the rain to remember what it feels like.
I have spent the last week preparing and then beginning my cooking/freezing process. I really hadn't planned on doing all of this at once, just cooking one-freezing one for a while so that we would have some extra meals on hand for busy week nights. However, last week I found so many great (ridiculous almost) deals on meat and dairy products which is the bulk of the ingredients for my freezable dishes that I bought enough to make my normal run. For those of you that are not familiar, my normal run is somewhere between 25 and 30 recipes which will make our family between 50 and 60 meals. I usually cook all the meals over 2 days, but generally not in the summer. This time I decided to spread the cooking out over a week so that I am only doing the cooking in the morning and by the afternoon high temperatures (and energy conservation so we don't overload our overtaxed grid) I can keep me and the house cooler and not break my back. So far I've managed 10 recipes and have 17 meals in the freezer. We've eaten 3 as I've been working. I have 18 more recipes to go, but 2 of them are actually side dishes that I will split up for a few meals and this is something new for me. I won't be able to get the exact figure until I am finished and know what I end up with in the freezer, but it's looking like about $2.75 per meal and most of those are casserole type dishes or have pasta or rice in them so sides aren't necessary. Plus my family will have healthy, home cooked meals on our busiest nights instead of frozen pizza or fast food. We'll also have some of our normal fare during the next two months to break up the monotony and also because we generally enjoy just a normal pork chop or chicken breast or roast, especially during the fall months when it starts to get cooler outside.
Riley has been a huge help to me while I have been working. Well, as much as he can be. Since I won't let him cut vegetables or raw meat with a sharp knife he has taken to using his kiddy knife to cut up strange combinations of crackers, cookies and fruit bars; he mixes them in a bowl, pops them in a pretend oven and tells me it's for Scooter or Daddy or better yet - our customers. Didn't you know I had customers? Some days that little guy follows me around helping make beds, switch out laundry (he even started trying to fold some small towels), unloading and loading the dishwasher and picking up toys around the house. He can be such a hard worker. And then he will decide that when I asked him to not walk across my freshly grouted tile it wasn't really a rule, but more like a guideline (they have been watching Pirates of the Caribbean a lot lately, they love Captain Jack Sparrow - sorry) and he just does what he wants anyway. We've had a lot of talks lately about listening to momma and doing what I say.
Speaking of tile - I guess I should show you what we've been up to around here. We spent some time fixing and patching walls and I figured out how to match my existing texture and completed that process. So, I finally got to paint. It was a big job - our kitchen, living room and hallway - ceiling and everything. I let the kids help since there weren't any concerns about drips on floors or trim or anything. They actually covered a lot more ground than I expected which put me on double time going back over their work to make sure we didn't have big paint blobs or missed spots. They wore a couple of my painting t-shirts and got a lot of paint in hair and on feet. It was a blast.
I can't tell you how much better it feels to walk out of my room each morning and into rooms that don't have cracks and are painted a new, pretty color. I liked the colors I had, don't get me wrong. But they were very brown and I had had them for over 6 years, I was ready for a change. I also was way past ready to cover up the orange brick of my fireplace. The mantle fell down when Riley was a baby so I have suffered without for a long time. I hate it most when it's time to decorate for Christmas. The plan was to tile over the thing, but then it occurred to me that if I painted it and loved it I could save some money. If I painted it and hated it, I hadn't lost anything and could still tile over it. I took that dark grey paint I used for the stripe in the boys room and painted the brick. I know you can't tell in the pictures, but our walls are now actually a light grey, they look pretty white in certain light or in the pictures, but they are grey. What do you think? I am loving it and have decided to hold off on the tile. It needs a mantle, I know, but that's coming eventually. Oh, and yes I realize I dripped primer onto my painted doors and will have to touch those up as well.
What do you think? We are kinda diggin it! So it was finally time to tile the kitchen. F-I-N-A-L-L-Y! Ok, if you didn't already know, I have lived with concrete floors in my kitchen for about 2 years. Before that there was some pretty nasty vinyl down there that had gashes and tears in it and peeled away from the base boards. The reason for that, it turns out, was that the previous owners had just laid the stuff down over the original Mustard Yellow and Olive Green Linoleum (with a seriously intricate mosaic pattern) and only laid it to the base boards without removing them. The original stuff must have went really well with the mustard yellow and doo-doo brown mini-tiles that had been the back splash in our kitchen once upon a time. Anyway - the floor that was here didn't look clean no matter what I did to it. There hasn't been a decent floor in the kitchen since I've lived here, but I have been very, very patient. And it was so worth the wait. I think I appreciate it more for the wait. Riley jumped in to help tiling too.
Don't you just love the dark stained concrete in the background? Not pretty, done on purpose and sealed stained concrete. Nasty, dark thanks to the black glue used for the ancient linoleum and dust producing unsealed concrete that I couldn't walk on barefoot 5 minutes after I mopped it because it was so nasty. Gone now! Yay! And here are the results:
Bella loves the new tile, she's always happiest when she can lay that big bulk of hers on a nice cool floor. I guess I can't get these pictures any bigger so you can't really tell it's tile in all of them, but I swear it is. There's still a ton to do: painting the window sills, re-caulking the windows on the inside, replacing the trim on my pantry and water heater doors, painting the cabinet doors above my laundry and painting the inside of the pantry, finishing the grout sealing (I ran out of my first bottle a third of the way through my dinette), and of course base moulding. I have no idea when I will be able to replace the carpet in our living room and do the moulding all the way through, but I think I'll be working on at least the kitchen walls that are not common to the main room soon. It's still a work in progress and won't be done immediately because we do this stuff slowly, when we have cash on hand to pay for it and we do it ourselves (with a lot of help from my sweet daddy). It'll get done eventually anyway.
I am absolutely thrilled with how much we have gotten done in the past month and a half. I love walking on my new tile floor, it's so pretty. Actually, it's kind of dirty in these pictures because the dogs tracked mud in yesterday (there was mud!!! from some rain!!!!) and I absolutely refuse to use the nasty old mop that's been cleaning that concrete on the new pretty floors. I'll buy a new mop this week and get cracking - right after I finish sealing the grout.
I'm off to do some more cooking and then take my hubby to pick up his truck. Can you believe it? One year after we replaced the engine AND the radiator, the radiator went out - again. At least it's under warranty and wasn't a major expense. Soccer practice again tonight - please pray that the boys handle it better with Scotty there with us. Busy weekend ahead with parties and visits with friends and family. And oh yeah - Tyler officially moved into the YOUTH GROUP (yikes!) at church this past Sunday. He will be going to his first Wednesday night worship and bible study tomorrow night, we're so excited.
Love to all - Have a great week!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
And it Begins . . .
I was worried. And excited. And very, very worried. For 3 days before school started I had been chanting to myself 'Did I do enough?' and Praying 'Please God, let it be enough, let the transition go okay for him, let him adjust fairly well. Please Jesus, don't let him cling to my leg and cry for six months.' I was begging, pleading and asking for extra prayers for Scooter starting Kindergarten from everywhere and anywhere I could get them.
Sunday was promotion day at church and although Scooter had been very excited that he was finally old enough to go to Kids Town and that his cousin Veronica would be there as a helper - the transition did not go well. He cried. He clung to my leg. He struggled as I handed him over to a very sweet teacher that he had never seen before. When Veronica got there he pretty much planted himself in her lap and refused to acknowledge anything or anyone except for the 2 times she swears he did actually laugh at what was happening on stage. He survived and sat quietly through the second hour with the Children's Ministry director after Veronica left, refusing to color his page. We picked him up and headed home, hoping that next week would be smoother.
Needless to say, this other new experience did not ease my anxiety over the looming first day of school. It made things worse. I was in a panic. I wasn't sure that Mrs. Crump was going to lovingly take my screaming child from my arms and shoo me away with a 'he'll be fine' when she had 18 other scared 5 year olds in her room. She's a great teacher (Tyler's Kindergarten teacher as well) and we love her, but if Scooter was in 'Scooter mode' it was not going to be pretty. Sunday passed in a rushed blur with my occasional 'It's already 4:30?' comments peppered through the chaos of preparation.
The good news was that Scooter was exhausted from his Sunday School experience. Around 5:30 in the afternoon, while I was making dinner, he was trying to fall asleep on the couch. He actually WANTED to nap, but we wouldn't let him. We kept him awake and tried to get him moving, making him a little grumpy until his friends came over to play, but he was playing right into my plans for an early bed time and a good solid (with any luck) 11 hours of sleep before school the next morning. He got riled up again, but I knew he was tired.
And something else helped me with bedtime that night which was coincidental, but I kind of welcomed it with open arms. Scooter had a bunch of bug bites on his legs. Poor little guy, they eat him up like sugar and he itches like crazy for days at a time. We put cortisone cream on them, but that only lasts for a couple of hours and if I don't give him Benadryl before bed he'll get up with itchy skin several times during the night. I could double the dose of Benadryl for Riley and it wouldn't make him drowsy, but Scooter gets sleepy within 15 minutes of a half dose which is what I usually administer for the bites. So even though I felt bad for my munchkin, itching away like that, and I wouldn't have deliberately doped him - I was kind of relieved I was going to have to give him a tad of the 'pink stuff' just before bed.
So my little Scooter-pie was asleep by 8:15 which is still 15 minutes later than my ideal school bedtime for him, but since he was out like a light in time for 10.5 hours of sleep, I was pretty happy. Tyler and Riley followed soon after and I looked at my husband in awe that we actually had more than 30 minutes of time together before we crashed out ourselves. It's been a while since bedtime was that easy or early.
Tyler was grumbly and unhappy when I woke him on Monday, but by the time he got out of the shower he was smiling and ready to get moving on his first day. Scooter woke on his own 5 minutes before I was going to go into his room which I think aided in his excellent mood as well. We had breakfast and packed lunches. We rigorously brushed teeth and then shuffled the still very sleepy Riley into some clothes and then all five of us headed out the door for first day pictures underneath the Pecan tree and school drop off chaos.
Already, I was surprised by Scooter. If he decides that I should take his picture, he is all smiles. However, whenever I try to get him to smile because I am marking an occasion or we are getting portraits made he is traditionally stubborn, sullen and won't even look at the camera half the time. Not Monday. He stood under the tree with his brother and without, smiling and posing. It was a picture I really didn't think I would get - first day of Kindergarten and ready to go! Riley didn't want to leave the house and was pouty so he got his picture taken too.
We drove to Tyler's school, avoided all the parked cars and mile long walks for those parents escorting their kids to their class, got in the very short drop off line and let Tyler go off on his own. With smiles and wishes for luck, he jumped out of the van with his violin in tow (that I was positive he didn't need the first day and is now firmly parked at home until the director informs him it's time to bring it back to school) and brand new, ridiculously expensive backpack. We all watched him walk in, a big 6th grader, to begin his very last year as an elementary school student. Then we drove back towards home and to Scooter's school.
Riley had come alive in the backseat and started telling us we had messed up because Scooter was still in the car. Then when we turned into our neighborhood he informed us that we weren't supposed to go home yet, we needed to take Scooter to school. We parked on a side street and crossed to the school and in front of buses to make our way inside. That's when Riley's pants fell down around his ankles, stalling him right in front of a parked bus. Evidently he was wearing a pair of Scooter's shorts thanks to all the confusion. I quickly yanked them up and turned the waist down a couple times to hold them in place and we made our way inside the school.
Scooter had already met his teacher and his speech therapist and seen the room and some of the school at Meet The Teacher night, thankfully. Scooter's biggest challenge is his need to take so long to warm up to everything and everyone. I took my time with his tour on Friday night and wished we could have spent more time with Mrs. Crump, but we got what we got. Turned out it was enough. Scooter found his name tag and we put his backpack with the others on a table in preparation for his first K-5 lesson 'what to do with backpacks and lunch boxes'. We picked a book to sit by on the color-coded mat and said our goodbyes. Smiles, kisses and see ya later's. I walked out of that room like it was nothing.
And then I burst into tears. Ironically, there was only a little bit of 'Oh my baby is growing up and going to school and everything changes now' in my tears. Most of it was relief and awe at how smoothly it all went. It couldn't have been more perfect or normal and that made me so weepy with gratitude I almost couldn't breathe. Of course, I knew, that was only half the battle. The other half was on the flip side of the day - how would he come home? Would he want to go back?
Riley and I survived our first day on our own without a hitch. Grandpa came over to help me finish laying tile in my kitchen. I always knew Riley was a talker, evidenced most starkly at bedtime when he really doesn't get that he is supposed to be quiet while others are trying to sleep or rather thinks he IS being quiet while he recounts his day, tells us stories and goes over details he wants us to remember over and over again. It was obvious though, almost immediately, that without Scooter to play with and interact with all day, I am going to be the recipient of all Riley's verbosity. Non-stop. Talking. All. Day. Long.
My mom is laughing now, as she reads this. After all, she always said I was born talking. Everyone else who knows me well is probably laughing too. I know I'm a talker, love it more than anything. I guess Riley is just going to take after his momma that way. What is it they say? Paybacks are a . . . cute 3 year old!
Three o'clock came fairly quickly so Riley and I made our way back to school and stood with the other anxious parents in the shade on the lawn outside the K-5 and PreK door. The PreK kids came out first and then there was Mrs. Crump, eying the crowd for parents she recognized first. Scooter was the 5th or 6th kid out the door. I stood beside my neighbor whose son, Noah-Scooter's friend, is in the same class. Noah is on the low end of the Autism spectrum and did 2 years of PPCD and PPCDK at this school. He's a practiced hand and came to his mother with smiles. On the other side of me stood an old friend, Deana, whom I met when her son and Tyler were in Mrs. Crump's Kindergarten class together and we were both pregnant with another boy. Her son Adrian is also in Scooter's class and he came out next. Behind me was another neighbor, the one neighbor with GIRLS. Her daughter Sofia is also in Scooter's class (their birthdays are only 1 day apart, they don't play much together but Scooter said maybe he'll be more used to her now and he will do so more often - she's adorable by the way) and she also came out. And then there was my munchkin. (He's there, getting a word of encouragement from his teacher on the top step.)
He wasn't smiling right away, was kind of quiet, came to me and hid his face in my leg for a moment and then when prompted game me a half smile for the picture. Mrs. Crump mouthed to me over his head 'He had a really good day' and gave me a thumbs up. I was so glad at that moment I had pushed for mainstream for Scooter and that second ARD meeting. She had been there as the General Education rep, just for the second one, so I knew she remembered all I had said about taking the reports with a grain of salt and how yes, he has some social problems, but he is more than ready for the academics, etc. As we made our way to the van and our wait in the heat for Tyler's shuttle bus to arrive, Scooter didn't answer my typical mom questions. 'How was it?' 'Did you have fun?'
He was pretty quiet. For about 45 seconds. Then he started talking and was telling me every single detail of his day. He was a chatterbox! When my friend checked in later to see how the second half of our battle had gone, I told her it was so completely and totally normal that it was downright miraculous. We collected Tyler who had a broken zipper on that stupid backpack already. You know, the one with the outrageous price tag and the lifetime guarantee? Yep, that's the one. Luckily it was something his Grandpa could fix in about 5 seconds so I didn't have to have a heart attack.
Speaking of Grandpa - he was still at my house. We had 2 more rows of tile to lay before we were done so he had taken a break while I did the pick ups. He had also brought a box of cookies from Grandma who thought that's what the boys needed after their first day at school. They were pretty excited. But the best part of the day, or one of the best since there were so many, was that when Scooter came in the door - he whipped around the corner and yelled 'Hi Grandpa!' Seriously. My kid, my Scooter. The one who doesn't greet anyone. Dad said to me - I don't think he's ever done that before. I know he hasn't.
So, it's still an uphill battle. Every morning it's harder to get Scooter out of bed since he isn't used to this schedule. Today he didn't want to go at all, but by the time we got there he was ready to walk in, pick a book and go to his mat with no fuss. Last night's initiation into fall Soccer was not pretty, but it was better than last year. However, he absorbs everything and was the only child yesterday who remembered exactly what to do with his backpack and parent folder, etc. when he came in. I got another thumbs up from the teacher yesterday and Scooter was pretty excited he had a stamp on one hand and a sticker on the other. The sticker was for winning every foot race they had in Gym (since he's one of the shorter kids I thought that was pretty cool) and the stamp was for being the best in class at sitting on the color mat quietly and still, keeping his hands to himself.
I am not breathing a sigh of relief just yet, but some of the tension is easing from my shoulders. He really is going to be okay. He told me yesterday that he now knows all his letters, big and small, because he goes to school and they don't talk about letters, they talk about words. The know-it-all-ness of Kindergarten has begun. I am also more and more encouraged that although we know we have some serious issues to deal with, I think some of the observations made during his Autism evaluation were masked by the Sensory issues we are dealing with day to day. I will most definitely ask for a reevaluation this spring that will involve classroom monitoring instead of parental input and a mom in the room to cling to. In the meantime - he has a 'smell stick' in his pocket and is already finding people to sit next to at lunch who don't bring sandwiches so he doesn't have to use the stick for the bread. Smarty!
Tyler's a bit nervous about the heavy academics he is facing this year, but after last year I am grateful that he will be challenged more. Today is his first full day of rotations and academics and I have a feeling we are going to see some serious homework within a couple days. By next week he will be practicing his violin for real instead of just playing around on it. His biggest observation on the first day was 'There's no recess.' Adding orchestra and band as electives took the place of play time. 'No honey, there's no recess. I hate to tell you this, but I think your days of recess are over.' Growing up sucks some days. The disbelief on his face was priceless. I, however, was pretty pumped about the fact that his school offered a fundraiser 'buyout' so with a hastily made donation I will avoid even having to look at the paperwork for selling stuff. This is good since I have 2 kids doing this stuff now.
There's still a lot to get used to. Scooter is going by 'Scott' at school. It's how he writes his name and what they prefer for testing, etc., but it's weird to me. My hubby took to calling him Scotty a couple months ago and his definite effort made it almost too common and kind of made me crazy at first. Now it's sinking in - this is his name, this is what we named him. I always knew this day would come and that he probably would use Scott or Scotty at school, but he's still Scooter to me and his brothers. I asked him if it was okay if I still called him Scooter and he graciously gave me permission. At soccer they asked me if it was still Scooter and I said YES!
Riley and I are making our way through the days, but it's different. We both enjoyed our new Moms group at the church I used to attend MOPS yesterday, but he was so wiped out afterwards he ate 2 Gogurts and slept 2 hours before school pick up. I grouted some tile. Afternoon schedules are about to spiral out of control, but this week we only had soccer. Next week feeding therapy is supposed to begin for Scooter. I want him to have this therapy and I think he needs it at some point, but I am wavering on my decision to start it right now. It seems like a lot of added stress for him in an already busy schedule and the financial strain of all this therapy is catching up. Someone told me this spring that they had always had to take breaks when it got to be too much for their now 13 year old autistic son and sometimes their wallets. I think that may just be what we need. Even if I have to pay for another evaluation later and this one won't stick, we might just need a break financially and emotionally. Something more to pray about.
Anyway - the year has begun and with any luck the heat will break sometime before Christmas. Last week every weatherman said 'we won't break the 1980 record of 69 days over 100', but they have now dropped that from their speeches as we are forecast over 100 through early next week which will put us at day 58 or something and we haven't hit September yet. The reality is that we could easily have that many more days of 100 here. It isn't out of the question anyway, God help us all. I dreamed this morning that the guy on the news flashed in and announced that Hurricane Irene had switched course and was headed for the gulf coast and we all cheered because it meant rain. How sad is that? Wishing for a hurricane? I guess that's what finally broke the streak in 1980.
Hope all your back to school moments were happy ones and that this year brings joy to all of you!
Thanks and God Bless!
Sunday was promotion day at church and although Scooter had been very excited that he was finally old enough to go to Kids Town and that his cousin Veronica would be there as a helper - the transition did not go well. He cried. He clung to my leg. He struggled as I handed him over to a very sweet teacher that he had never seen before. When Veronica got there he pretty much planted himself in her lap and refused to acknowledge anything or anyone except for the 2 times she swears he did actually laugh at what was happening on stage. He survived and sat quietly through the second hour with the Children's Ministry director after Veronica left, refusing to color his page. We picked him up and headed home, hoping that next week would be smoother.
Needless to say, this other new experience did not ease my anxiety over the looming first day of school. It made things worse. I was in a panic. I wasn't sure that Mrs. Crump was going to lovingly take my screaming child from my arms and shoo me away with a 'he'll be fine' when she had 18 other scared 5 year olds in her room. She's a great teacher (Tyler's Kindergarten teacher as well) and we love her, but if Scooter was in 'Scooter mode' it was not going to be pretty. Sunday passed in a rushed blur with my occasional 'It's already 4:30?' comments peppered through the chaos of preparation.
The good news was that Scooter was exhausted from his Sunday School experience. Around 5:30 in the afternoon, while I was making dinner, he was trying to fall asleep on the couch. He actually WANTED to nap, but we wouldn't let him. We kept him awake and tried to get him moving, making him a little grumpy until his friends came over to play, but he was playing right into my plans for an early bed time and a good solid (with any luck) 11 hours of sleep before school the next morning. He got riled up again, but I knew he was tired.
And something else helped me with bedtime that night which was coincidental, but I kind of welcomed it with open arms. Scooter had a bunch of bug bites on his legs. Poor little guy, they eat him up like sugar and he itches like crazy for days at a time. We put cortisone cream on them, but that only lasts for a couple of hours and if I don't give him Benadryl before bed he'll get up with itchy skin several times during the night. I could double the dose of Benadryl for Riley and it wouldn't make him drowsy, but Scooter gets sleepy within 15 minutes of a half dose which is what I usually administer for the bites. So even though I felt bad for my munchkin, itching away like that, and I wouldn't have deliberately doped him - I was kind of relieved I was going to have to give him a tad of the 'pink stuff' just before bed.
So my little Scooter-pie was asleep by 8:15 which is still 15 minutes later than my ideal school bedtime for him, but since he was out like a light in time for 10.5 hours of sleep, I was pretty happy. Tyler and Riley followed soon after and I looked at my husband in awe that we actually had more than 30 minutes of time together before we crashed out ourselves. It's been a while since bedtime was that easy or early.
Tyler was grumbly and unhappy when I woke him on Monday, but by the time he got out of the shower he was smiling and ready to get moving on his first day. Scooter woke on his own 5 minutes before I was going to go into his room which I think aided in his excellent mood as well. We had breakfast and packed lunches. We rigorously brushed teeth and then shuffled the still very sleepy Riley into some clothes and then all five of us headed out the door for first day pictures underneath the Pecan tree and school drop off chaos.
Already, I was surprised by Scooter. If he decides that I should take his picture, he is all smiles. However, whenever I try to get him to smile because I am marking an occasion or we are getting portraits made he is traditionally stubborn, sullen and won't even look at the camera half the time. Not Monday. He stood under the tree with his brother and without, smiling and posing. It was a picture I really didn't think I would get - first day of Kindergarten and ready to go! Riley didn't want to leave the house and was pouty so he got his picture taken too.
We drove to Tyler's school, avoided all the parked cars and mile long walks for those parents escorting their kids to their class, got in the very short drop off line and let Tyler go off on his own. With smiles and wishes for luck, he jumped out of the van with his violin in tow (that I was positive he didn't need the first day and is now firmly parked at home until the director informs him it's time to bring it back to school) and brand new, ridiculously expensive backpack. We all watched him walk in, a big 6th grader, to begin his very last year as an elementary school student. Then we drove back towards home and to Scooter's school.
Riley had come alive in the backseat and started telling us we had messed up because Scooter was still in the car. Then when we turned into our neighborhood he informed us that we weren't supposed to go home yet, we needed to take Scooter to school. We parked on a side street and crossed to the school and in front of buses to make our way inside. That's when Riley's pants fell down around his ankles, stalling him right in front of a parked bus. Evidently he was wearing a pair of Scooter's shorts thanks to all the confusion. I quickly yanked them up and turned the waist down a couple times to hold them in place and we made our way inside the school.
Scooter had already met his teacher and his speech therapist and seen the room and some of the school at Meet The Teacher night, thankfully. Scooter's biggest challenge is his need to take so long to warm up to everything and everyone. I took my time with his tour on Friday night and wished we could have spent more time with Mrs. Crump, but we got what we got. Turned out it was enough. Scooter found his name tag and we put his backpack with the others on a table in preparation for his first K-5 lesson 'what to do with backpacks and lunch boxes'. We picked a book to sit by on the color-coded mat and said our goodbyes. Smiles, kisses and see ya later's. I walked out of that room like it was nothing.
And then I burst into tears. Ironically, there was only a little bit of 'Oh my baby is growing up and going to school and everything changes now' in my tears. Most of it was relief and awe at how smoothly it all went. It couldn't have been more perfect or normal and that made me so weepy with gratitude I almost couldn't breathe. Of course, I knew, that was only half the battle. The other half was on the flip side of the day - how would he come home? Would he want to go back?
Riley and I survived our first day on our own without a hitch. Grandpa came over to help me finish laying tile in my kitchen. I always knew Riley was a talker, evidenced most starkly at bedtime when he really doesn't get that he is supposed to be quiet while others are trying to sleep or rather thinks he IS being quiet while he recounts his day, tells us stories and goes over details he wants us to remember over and over again. It was obvious though, almost immediately, that without Scooter to play with and interact with all day, I am going to be the recipient of all Riley's verbosity. Non-stop. Talking. All. Day. Long.
My mom is laughing now, as she reads this. After all, she always said I was born talking. Everyone else who knows me well is probably laughing too. I know I'm a talker, love it more than anything. I guess Riley is just going to take after his momma that way. What is it they say? Paybacks are a . . . cute 3 year old!
Three o'clock came fairly quickly so Riley and I made our way back to school and stood with the other anxious parents in the shade on the lawn outside the K-5 and PreK door. The PreK kids came out first and then there was Mrs. Crump, eying the crowd for parents she recognized first. Scooter was the 5th or 6th kid out the door. I stood beside my neighbor whose son, Noah-Scooter's friend, is in the same class. Noah is on the low end of the Autism spectrum and did 2 years of PPCD and PPCDK at this school. He's a practiced hand and came to his mother with smiles. On the other side of me stood an old friend, Deana, whom I met when her son and Tyler were in Mrs. Crump's Kindergarten class together and we were both pregnant with another boy. Her son Adrian is also in Scooter's class and he came out next. Behind me was another neighbor, the one neighbor with GIRLS. Her daughter Sofia is also in Scooter's class (their birthdays are only 1 day apart, they don't play much together but Scooter said maybe he'll be more used to her now and he will do so more often - she's adorable by the way) and she also came out. And then there was my munchkin. (He's there, getting a word of encouragement from his teacher on the top step.)
He wasn't smiling right away, was kind of quiet, came to me and hid his face in my leg for a moment and then when prompted game me a half smile for the picture. Mrs. Crump mouthed to me over his head 'He had a really good day' and gave me a thumbs up. I was so glad at that moment I had pushed for mainstream for Scooter and that second ARD meeting. She had been there as the General Education rep, just for the second one, so I knew she remembered all I had said about taking the reports with a grain of salt and how yes, he has some social problems, but he is more than ready for the academics, etc. As we made our way to the van and our wait in the heat for Tyler's shuttle bus to arrive, Scooter didn't answer my typical mom questions. 'How was it?' 'Did you have fun?'
He was pretty quiet. For about 45 seconds. Then he started talking and was telling me every single detail of his day. He was a chatterbox! When my friend checked in later to see how the second half of our battle had gone, I told her it was so completely and totally normal that it was downright miraculous. We collected Tyler who had a broken zipper on that stupid backpack already. You know, the one with the outrageous price tag and the lifetime guarantee? Yep, that's the one. Luckily it was something his Grandpa could fix in about 5 seconds so I didn't have to have a heart attack.
Speaking of Grandpa - he was still at my house. We had 2 more rows of tile to lay before we were done so he had taken a break while I did the pick ups. He had also brought a box of cookies from Grandma who thought that's what the boys needed after their first day at school. They were pretty excited. But the best part of the day, or one of the best since there were so many, was that when Scooter came in the door - he whipped around the corner and yelled 'Hi Grandpa!' Seriously. My kid, my Scooter. The one who doesn't greet anyone. Dad said to me - I don't think he's ever done that before. I know he hasn't.
So, it's still an uphill battle. Every morning it's harder to get Scooter out of bed since he isn't used to this schedule. Today he didn't want to go at all, but by the time we got there he was ready to walk in, pick a book and go to his mat with no fuss. Last night's initiation into fall Soccer was not pretty, but it was better than last year. However, he absorbs everything and was the only child yesterday who remembered exactly what to do with his backpack and parent folder, etc. when he came in. I got another thumbs up from the teacher yesterday and Scooter was pretty excited he had a stamp on one hand and a sticker on the other. The sticker was for winning every foot race they had in Gym (since he's one of the shorter kids I thought that was pretty cool) and the stamp was for being the best in class at sitting on the color mat quietly and still, keeping his hands to himself.
I am not breathing a sigh of relief just yet, but some of the tension is easing from my shoulders. He really is going to be okay. He told me yesterday that he now knows all his letters, big and small, because he goes to school and they don't talk about letters, they talk about words. The know-it-all-ness of Kindergarten has begun. I am also more and more encouraged that although we know we have some serious issues to deal with, I think some of the observations made during his Autism evaluation were masked by the Sensory issues we are dealing with day to day. I will most definitely ask for a reevaluation this spring that will involve classroom monitoring instead of parental input and a mom in the room to cling to. In the meantime - he has a 'smell stick' in his pocket and is already finding people to sit next to at lunch who don't bring sandwiches so he doesn't have to use the stick for the bread. Smarty!
Tyler's a bit nervous about the heavy academics he is facing this year, but after last year I am grateful that he will be challenged more. Today is his first full day of rotations and academics and I have a feeling we are going to see some serious homework within a couple days. By next week he will be practicing his violin for real instead of just playing around on it. His biggest observation on the first day was 'There's no recess.' Adding orchestra and band as electives took the place of play time. 'No honey, there's no recess. I hate to tell you this, but I think your days of recess are over.' Growing up sucks some days. The disbelief on his face was priceless. I, however, was pretty pumped about the fact that his school offered a fundraiser 'buyout' so with a hastily made donation I will avoid even having to look at the paperwork for selling stuff. This is good since I have 2 kids doing this stuff now.
There's still a lot to get used to. Scooter is going by 'Scott' at school. It's how he writes his name and what they prefer for testing, etc., but it's weird to me. My hubby took to calling him Scotty a couple months ago and his definite effort made it almost too common and kind of made me crazy at first. Now it's sinking in - this is his name, this is what we named him. I always knew this day would come and that he probably would use Scott or Scotty at school, but he's still Scooter to me and his brothers. I asked him if it was okay if I still called him Scooter and he graciously gave me permission. At soccer they asked me if it was still Scooter and I said YES!
Riley and I are making our way through the days, but it's different. We both enjoyed our new Moms group at the church I used to attend MOPS yesterday, but he was so wiped out afterwards he ate 2 Gogurts and slept 2 hours before school pick up. I grouted some tile. Afternoon schedules are about to spiral out of control, but this week we only had soccer. Next week feeding therapy is supposed to begin for Scooter. I want him to have this therapy and I think he needs it at some point, but I am wavering on my decision to start it right now. It seems like a lot of added stress for him in an already busy schedule and the financial strain of all this therapy is catching up. Someone told me this spring that they had always had to take breaks when it got to be too much for their now 13 year old autistic son and sometimes their wallets. I think that may just be what we need. Even if I have to pay for another evaluation later and this one won't stick, we might just need a break financially and emotionally. Something more to pray about.
Anyway - the year has begun and with any luck the heat will break sometime before Christmas. Last week every weatherman said 'we won't break the 1980 record of 69 days over 100', but they have now dropped that from their speeches as we are forecast over 100 through early next week which will put us at day 58 or something and we haven't hit September yet. The reality is that we could easily have that many more days of 100 here. It isn't out of the question anyway, God help us all. I dreamed this morning that the guy on the news flashed in and announced that Hurricane Irene had switched course and was headed for the gulf coast and we all cheered because it meant rain. How sad is that? Wishing for a hurricane? I guess that's what finally broke the streak in 1980.
Hope all your back to school moments were happy ones and that this year brings joy to all of you!
Thanks and God Bless!
Monday, August 15, 2011
It's Almost Here . . .
One more week. One week left of summer vacation. Only one week left of sleeping in and lazing around in pj's all morning. One more long week of testy children, disorganization and absolutely no routine. One more week until I have to start nagging for Tyler to get homework done, get his reading time in and, now, practice time for his violin. One more week of Scooter being home with me and Riley.
I must be way more finicky than I ever thought I was. Honestly. I am usually chomping at the bit for school to end every year, anxious for a break from all the work and alarm clocks and TAKS stress. But there is a limit to how much fun can be crammed into a summer vacation and we reached it a couple weeks ago around here. By the time school starts, I am so ready for the routine again and ashamedly, to have at least one kid gone for a few hours. I love their company, every single one of them, but the more kids that are here and playing and fighting with each other make it harder to run the business of 'homemaking' and managing this family, mostly because there isn't a schedule.
There were a few times over the past couple of weeks that I almost got on here and just complained and whined to you about all the friggin heat (are you kidding me? 109 again?) and the annoyance I was feeling about being trapped inside with kids that were getting on each other's and my nerves. My friend, JLH over at From the Corner of My Couch beat me to the punch every time though and she was a lot more eloquent and less whiny and bitchy (excuse the expression) than I would have been about it. Reading about her frustration made me feel better that it wasn't just me so I saved you from the extreme whinyness (is that a word?) that you would have gotten from this mama.
I was painting my kitchen walls one afternoon (yes!!!!! I finally got to do it and I absolutely love the new color) while Scooter and Riley played with their next door neighbor friend, Randy, in the living room. All had been well for a couple of hours when suddenly the wind changed or something and no one was getting along. Randy just turned 6 and lately I have noticed that he and Scooter have a little more 'big kid' attitude around Riley. So there was a lot of 'not sharing' and 'not including' and pushing, shoving and whining developing as the summer progressed. Anyway, the mood shifted so dramatically and forcefully that as I ushered Randy out the door and my two little ones to quiet, comfy places for a 'break' and a 'rest' I found myself thinking 'Yep, It's just about time for school to start'.
And yet, my excitement and joy over the return to academia are tainted this year. Because Scooter is leaving me too. I thought for sure that the second kid going off to school would be easier than the first. You know, since I have been through it before and all. In a lot of ways it's actually harder for me, but I think I understand some of the reasons for that.
I was working full time when Tyler went to Kindergarten. He was very used to being dropped off at day care every morning and picked up in the evening on my way home. We were very acclimated to being apart all day, so even though it was a big deal that he went to K-5 and I was weepy with the change of it all and that he was growing up, it wasn't that big of a change for us. Scooter has been home with me since birth except for the one year I went to work to help us crawl back from numerous layoffs and stress. And even then - I got off of work between 1 and 3 every day so it wasn't the long days Tyler had gone from me.
Kindergarten changes everything. Really, it does. Your child comes home from school different than when they left you. For some kids it's subtle and feels like a natural progression and for others it's a drastic, not always nice change. Evidently, the latter was me. I got on the bus in the morning loving my little brother and got off the bus a 'BIG' kid who didn't have time for an almost 3 year old. I am a teeny bit worried that this is what will happen with Scooter and Riley since his play with friends has changed so much over the past couple of months. Sure, it could go the complete opposite way because it IS Scooter and he could come home and fall apart and refuse to go back, forcing me to spend the next 3-6 months tearing him off my leg and into the door every morning while he gets warmed up to the idea of his teacher and fellow students. Either way, once they start school they never stop. The evidence that they are growing up every day is more obvious once they begin their academic journey.
And of course, Scooter has issues. Needless to say, I have a lot of anxiety and mixed feelings about sending him to school next week. All that anxiety comes from a place of uncertainty. Not knowing how he will handle all the new faces, the new schedule, the smells in the cafeteria - all that is making me a little crazy. He will be playing soccer again, continuing with swim lessons and transitioning from Occupational Therapy to Feeding Therapy each week and I am worried it will be too much while I also know that he is entirely capable of surprising us and handling it all with ease. I can't know until we start and I am also pretty excited about seeing how he does handle it all. He's certainly smart enough for school, the kid will probably be bored with some of the stuff since he's so intelligent, but the learning will also require a level of concentration and commitment he hasn't had to produce yet.
I also have a teeny, tiny bit of anxiety about being at home with just Riley. Really, he's awesome and sweet and funny and kind and I think it will be great to just have one kid to haul around. And then, well, not so much. He can be stubborn, reckless, refuses to listen, and just downright ornery sometimes. Without a buddy home with him all day we could be walking into a nightmare (or heaven, the jury is still out). I kind of think that when it comes time for Riley to go to school I might be doing a little celebration dance and thanking the teachers while running for the door and hoping they don't realize what they have gotten themselves into before I clear the parking lot. I debated a MDO program for him this year, but decided to see how things go first. After all, he has 2 more years of being home and will be 2 months shy of turning 6 before he gets to start Kindergarten. Next year, I will definitely find something for him 3-5 days a week, possibly even a private kindergarten for a year before he goes to public school, but we are going to see how things go this year before we make any decisions.
It occurs to me while our summer is winding down and Tyler asks me repeatedly if I am going to cry when Scooter goes to school (the answer is Yes, but not in front of him and only for a minute, just like with you) that I will probably be weeping on the first day of school for the next 3 years. This year it's Scooter. Next year, Tyler will go to JUNIOR HIGH, no that's not a misprint. I have a whole other level of anxiety about puberty and adolescence that I can't even begin to breakdown here yet. And then the following year, Riley will go. And no matter how much I joke about the handful that Riley is, he's my baby so when he goes it might just be the worst of the three for me.
My mind is a whirlwind this week with all that I have to do and all my worries, anxieties and excitement. This last week always kind of sucks because of all the work involved in getting them ready and my desire for the first day to just be here already. I informed my children last night that this would be the last morning they could sleep in as long as they wanted (It's 9:30 and there are no signs of life so far) since they just got back from a week at Lake Texoma with their cousins and their schedules are completely out of whack. Tomorrow, I start waking them up 20 minutes earlier every day so they can sorta get ready for their school morning schedule. And bed times for the summer have been ridiculously late so tonight we start backing up the bedtimes as well. We are going to start adding elements of a schedule into our day in tiny doses. Back to School haircuts are Thursday morning. Meet the Teacher nights are Thursday and Friday (2 different schools is going to be rough).
Thanks to my bargain shopping, all school supplies have been purchased and I never go back to school clothes shopping because it's still so friggin hot here that they wear their shorts to school for at least 2 months. And then they always grow by Christmas anyway, so I would be doubling my purchases for nothing. Backpacks were bought yesterday, which was an ordeal for Tyler because the ones that will hold his binder and laptop and everything else (because the violin will be in his hands) are really pricey, but we found one he loved in a price range that made me mildly queasy, but not overtly nauseous. {Just a side note here - the list asked for Tyler to have a 3 inch zipper binder and we couldn't find one backpack that you could fit that into, even while it was empty. Tyler talked me into a 2 inch version with an extra removable file folder. We are starting to work on a plan for his own organization style that might work WITH the teacher's required version. I am prepared to be THAT mom this year and hold my ground and tell them to shove it if they don't like it to give my kid a better shot of figuring out how to organize for himself. He needs to be prepared for JH & HS. After all, Scooter and Riley are going to a different school. If the teachers and admin staff decide they can't stand me, they don't have to deal with me again after this year.} I am stocked up on lunch bag goodies that don't have to be fresh. I didn't set the alarm clock yet, but I have started the process of figuring out who has to get up when and warned my husband that just because he doesn't have to get up until 7:30 right now for work does not mean that he will be sleeping that long while I am up trying to get everyone into their schedules the first couple of weeks. After they have the routine down, I promised to revisit this proclamation.
The details are falling into place that can be managed. The mental and emotional stuff is still in the air. I am careful not to share my anxiety with Scooter, only focusing on how big he is and how much fun school will be. We started talking about how he'll have to eat breakfast right away in the morning instead of waiting because there won't be snack time at school and how we need to make sure he can open his own Gogurt by tearing the top since there won't be any scissors in the lunch room. We talk about carrying his smell sticks with him and when and how to use them. He repeatedly goes over the schedule of me dropping him off and picking him up and asks me to drive by the school and point out the Kindergarten door again. He has some serious social and emotional bridges to cross the next few weeks, but I think after months of OT, he kind of knows that he does and the time is coming for him to do so. He also has a lot more tools in his belt to deal with the challenges he's facing. Please pray with me that the transition is smooth, that the obstacles are mole hills and not mountains, that I don't lose my mind with worry and have some peace about him leaving the house.
Yes, I admit, I am finicky. Give me a week and I will be moaning about the struggles involved with having 2 kids in 2 different elementary schools (the frustration of managing the drop offs and pick ups for that are going to be crazy), the cramping in my hand from filling out all that first week of school paperwork for two kids (didn't they both get pre-registered? didn't I do this already last spring?), the alarm clock killing my sleep schedule, the exhaustion of running kids from place to place and trying to get homework done while I make dinner, possibly the endless work of entertaining Riley because his best friend left him to go off to school. It's coming. I know, I'll complain because I am good at it and, well, I like to do it (insert smile). But, over all - we are ready. I am ready. One more week . . .
I must be way more finicky than I ever thought I was. Honestly. I am usually chomping at the bit for school to end every year, anxious for a break from all the work and alarm clocks and TAKS stress. But there is a limit to how much fun can be crammed into a summer vacation and we reached it a couple weeks ago around here. By the time school starts, I am so ready for the routine again and ashamedly, to have at least one kid gone for a few hours. I love their company, every single one of them, but the more kids that are here and playing and fighting with each other make it harder to run the business of 'homemaking' and managing this family, mostly because there isn't a schedule.
There were a few times over the past couple of weeks that I almost got on here and just complained and whined to you about all the friggin heat (are you kidding me? 109 again?) and the annoyance I was feeling about being trapped inside with kids that were getting on each other's and my nerves. My friend, JLH over at From the Corner of My Couch beat me to the punch every time though and she was a lot more eloquent and less whiny and bitchy (excuse the expression) than I would have been about it. Reading about her frustration made me feel better that it wasn't just me so I saved you from the extreme whinyness (is that a word?) that you would have gotten from this mama.
I was painting my kitchen walls one afternoon (yes!!!!! I finally got to do it and I absolutely love the new color) while Scooter and Riley played with their next door neighbor friend, Randy, in the living room. All had been well for a couple of hours when suddenly the wind changed or something and no one was getting along. Randy just turned 6 and lately I have noticed that he and Scooter have a little more 'big kid' attitude around Riley. So there was a lot of 'not sharing' and 'not including' and pushing, shoving and whining developing as the summer progressed. Anyway, the mood shifted so dramatically and forcefully that as I ushered Randy out the door and my two little ones to quiet, comfy places for a 'break' and a 'rest' I found myself thinking 'Yep, It's just about time for school to start'.
And yet, my excitement and joy over the return to academia are tainted this year. Because Scooter is leaving me too. I thought for sure that the second kid going off to school would be easier than the first. You know, since I have been through it before and all. In a lot of ways it's actually harder for me, but I think I understand some of the reasons for that.
I was working full time when Tyler went to Kindergarten. He was very used to being dropped off at day care every morning and picked up in the evening on my way home. We were very acclimated to being apart all day, so even though it was a big deal that he went to K-5 and I was weepy with the change of it all and that he was growing up, it wasn't that big of a change for us. Scooter has been home with me since birth except for the one year I went to work to help us crawl back from numerous layoffs and stress. And even then - I got off of work between 1 and 3 every day so it wasn't the long days Tyler had gone from me.
Kindergarten changes everything. Really, it does. Your child comes home from school different than when they left you. For some kids it's subtle and feels like a natural progression and for others it's a drastic, not always nice change. Evidently, the latter was me. I got on the bus in the morning loving my little brother and got off the bus a 'BIG' kid who didn't have time for an almost 3 year old. I am a teeny bit worried that this is what will happen with Scooter and Riley since his play with friends has changed so much over the past couple of months. Sure, it could go the complete opposite way because it IS Scooter and he could come home and fall apart and refuse to go back, forcing me to spend the next 3-6 months tearing him off my leg and into the door every morning while he gets warmed up to the idea of his teacher and fellow students. Either way, once they start school they never stop. The evidence that they are growing up every day is more obvious once they begin their academic journey.
And of course, Scooter has issues. Needless to say, I have a lot of anxiety and mixed feelings about sending him to school next week. All that anxiety comes from a place of uncertainty. Not knowing how he will handle all the new faces, the new schedule, the smells in the cafeteria - all that is making me a little crazy. He will be playing soccer again, continuing with swim lessons and transitioning from Occupational Therapy to Feeding Therapy each week and I am worried it will be too much while I also know that he is entirely capable of surprising us and handling it all with ease. I can't know until we start and I am also pretty excited about seeing how he does handle it all. He's certainly smart enough for school, the kid will probably be bored with some of the stuff since he's so intelligent, but the learning will also require a level of concentration and commitment he hasn't had to produce yet.
I also have a teeny, tiny bit of anxiety about being at home with just Riley. Really, he's awesome and sweet and funny and kind and I think it will be great to just have one kid to haul around. And then, well, not so much. He can be stubborn, reckless, refuses to listen, and just downright ornery sometimes. Without a buddy home with him all day we could be walking into a nightmare (or heaven, the jury is still out). I kind of think that when it comes time for Riley to go to school I might be doing a little celebration dance and thanking the teachers while running for the door and hoping they don't realize what they have gotten themselves into before I clear the parking lot. I debated a MDO program for him this year, but decided to see how things go first. After all, he has 2 more years of being home and will be 2 months shy of turning 6 before he gets to start Kindergarten. Next year, I will definitely find something for him 3-5 days a week, possibly even a private kindergarten for a year before he goes to public school, but we are going to see how things go this year before we make any decisions.
It occurs to me while our summer is winding down and Tyler asks me repeatedly if I am going to cry when Scooter goes to school (the answer is Yes, but not in front of him and only for a minute, just like with you) that I will probably be weeping on the first day of school for the next 3 years. This year it's Scooter. Next year, Tyler will go to JUNIOR HIGH, no that's not a misprint. I have a whole other level of anxiety about puberty and adolescence that I can't even begin to breakdown here yet. And then the following year, Riley will go. And no matter how much I joke about the handful that Riley is, he's my baby so when he goes it might just be the worst of the three for me.
My mind is a whirlwind this week with all that I have to do and all my worries, anxieties and excitement. This last week always kind of sucks because of all the work involved in getting them ready and my desire for the first day to just be here already. I informed my children last night that this would be the last morning they could sleep in as long as they wanted (It's 9:30 and there are no signs of life so far) since they just got back from a week at Lake Texoma with their cousins and their schedules are completely out of whack. Tomorrow, I start waking them up 20 minutes earlier every day so they can sorta get ready for their school morning schedule. And bed times for the summer have been ridiculously late so tonight we start backing up the bedtimes as well. We are going to start adding elements of a schedule into our day in tiny doses. Back to School haircuts are Thursday morning. Meet the Teacher nights are Thursday and Friday (2 different schools is going to be rough).
Thanks to my bargain shopping, all school supplies have been purchased and I never go back to school clothes shopping because it's still so friggin hot here that they wear their shorts to school for at least 2 months. And then they always grow by Christmas anyway, so I would be doubling my purchases for nothing. Backpacks were bought yesterday, which was an ordeal for Tyler because the ones that will hold his binder and laptop and everything else (because the violin will be in his hands) are really pricey, but we found one he loved in a price range that made me mildly queasy, but not overtly nauseous. {Just a side note here - the list asked for Tyler to have a 3 inch zipper binder and we couldn't find one backpack that you could fit that into, even while it was empty. Tyler talked me into a 2 inch version with an extra removable file folder. We are starting to work on a plan for his own organization style that might work WITH the teacher's required version. I am prepared to be THAT mom this year and hold my ground and tell them to shove it if they don't like it to give my kid a better shot of figuring out how to organize for himself. He needs to be prepared for JH & HS. After all, Scooter and Riley are going to a different school. If the teachers and admin staff decide they can't stand me, they don't have to deal with me again after this year.} I am stocked up on lunch bag goodies that don't have to be fresh. I didn't set the alarm clock yet, but I have started the process of figuring out who has to get up when and warned my husband that just because he doesn't have to get up until 7:30 right now for work does not mean that he will be sleeping that long while I am up trying to get everyone into their schedules the first couple of weeks. After they have the routine down, I promised to revisit this proclamation.
The details are falling into place that can be managed. The mental and emotional stuff is still in the air. I am careful not to share my anxiety with Scooter, only focusing on how big he is and how much fun school will be. We started talking about how he'll have to eat breakfast right away in the morning instead of waiting because there won't be snack time at school and how we need to make sure he can open his own Gogurt by tearing the top since there won't be any scissors in the lunch room. We talk about carrying his smell sticks with him and when and how to use them. He repeatedly goes over the schedule of me dropping him off and picking him up and asks me to drive by the school and point out the Kindergarten door again. He has some serious social and emotional bridges to cross the next few weeks, but I think after months of OT, he kind of knows that he does and the time is coming for him to do so. He also has a lot more tools in his belt to deal with the challenges he's facing. Please pray with me that the transition is smooth, that the obstacles are mole hills and not mountains, that I don't lose my mind with worry and have some peace about him leaving the house.
Yes, I admit, I am finicky. Give me a week and I will be moaning about the struggles involved with having 2 kids in 2 different elementary schools (the frustration of managing the drop offs and pick ups for that are going to be crazy), the cramping in my hand from filling out all that first week of school paperwork for two kids (didn't they both get pre-registered? didn't I do this already last spring?), the alarm clock killing my sleep schedule, the exhaustion of running kids from place to place and trying to get homework done while I make dinner, possibly the endless work of entertaining Riley because his best friend left him to go off to school. It's coming. I know, I'll complain because I am good at it and, well, I like to do it (insert smile). But, over all - we are ready. I am ready. One more week . . .
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