The last couple of months have been pretty busy around here. We got through our annual cookie party and then I got through the end of my semester. I did manage to pull a 4.0 despite a more than slightly neurotic biology professor who had me rethinking any and all plans for my future for a minute there. It's all good though - I am registered for the sometimes anticipated/often dreaded Anatomy & Physiology this semester and I assume that in a few short months I will have a very clear idea of what my future path should or should not be. {A side note here - I managed all the material easily last semester, but the worry came in for the subjective part of my grade. After giving it some thought I have concluded that my anxiety came from being a liberal arts major for so long, where 80% of all my grades were 'subjective'. It didn't always matter what the content of my paper held, if the professor didn't like how I wrote or what I said in class, my whole grade was reflective of that. Maybe scientists are different than history and literature professors? We'll see . . .}
Just after I last posted, Scooter had a very big appointment with a Neuro Psychologist and her staff. He spent half a day being tested for both Autism Spectrum and other anxiety issues. This was a big step for us, deciding to evaluate outside of the school district. We felt like it was time to have something 'official' done and since our insurance was changing drastically at the new year - time was pressing. He did great that day after having had a 'walk through' of the office a couple weeks before. Although he was quiet and shy, we didn't have any tears or tantrums.
I stressed about results being more severe than we thought or less severe and having labeled him when we didn't need to. I panicked about labeling him at all and what that might mean for his future. I worried about his IQ results and the fact that he had wet his pants a little during the testing. I was anxious about everything and yet glad we had gone through with everything. I was praying every day for peace and trying to hand it over to God and then ripping it back out of His capable hands so I could worry over it some more.
And then I turned on my TV one Friday and saw the unthinkable. The unimaginable. A mothers worst fear and a lost nations heartbreak. Those children. All those children. Those first graders. They were first graders! Like my baby. Like my Scooter.
There was confusion at first, of course. When I first sat crying in agony at the horror of it, I thought they were Kindergarteners, I remember. That was awful. Right between my munchkins. Those poor parents, with Christmases forever changed. Even now, I can't think of it without crying for them. I truly believe that those babies, and their amazing protectors and teachers, were immediately in the arms of Jesus or I could not move on, could not breathe.
In the aftermath, as I saw face after 6 year old face on the days of funerals, I forgot I was waiting for some measly meaningless data about my kid. I was just so grateful I had my kid in my arms to kiss and snuggle every day. This stays with me. This weighs on my heart. Come, Lord Jesus . . .
But the feedback appointment did come. And when it did, I was at peace. The Lord holds my children and their futures in His hands and whatever was going to happen, it was going to happen. Scott was with me, which was a first. Usually I handle all the appointments and fill him in later, but we were both able to be there. What we heard was that Scooter was still on spectrum, but that he is mildly on spectrum and this was our third diagnosis of Aspergers. I had embraced this diagnosis last year, but I know there are those in our lives who hadn't. I think with the 3rd diagnosis, it is time to embrace and accept if you haven't before. It is mild though which is great news, and he had improved over 2 years. They also reiterated what I heard last year, that Scooter is highly receptive to interventions and therapies.
The surprise for us was an additional and separate diagnosis for Separation Anxiety Disorder (A specific type of Social Anxiety Disorder). The only separation anxiety I had heard of before was with babies or toddlers. A disorder? What? However, as I google incessantly to feed my information junky hunger, it is making a lot of sense. In fact, it explains why there are moments that we think Scooter might not be on spectrum since the emotional component of his anxiety is totally out of proportion for what an average Autistic child would express. It is something that can be helped with more social therapy and also some behavioral therapies to give him tools in social situations where he has to separate from us or others that he is attached to or comfortable with.
And of course there are still some serious Sensory Integration Disorder issues to deal with too. So bring on the therapists! (Except maybe just one at time since you are all so expensive!). I really like this doctor - maybe it was because she told me what a great job I had been doing for Scooter, giving him everything he needed to function and thrive and helping him improve. That made me cry. And hearing about how our home and family was such a safe, secure and happy place for Scooter based on his very revealing answers to questions was pretty awesome. But I also liked that she really 'got' Scooter and said something that rang a very familiar bell with us. She said that it was obvious Scooter had a lot of anxiety and was lacking in some social skills but that once he got comfortable somewhere or with someone then he 'warmed up' and you could see the awesome kid he really is. I am going to add her to my Christmas Card list I think. Anyway - the written reports are coming to us and this will help us move forward. His IQ scores were great and the meeting gave me confidence to talk to his teacher about the Gifted program at school. Despite social anxiety, he totally qualifies so we are going to move forward with testing.
Scott and I left that appointment, grabbed a quick lunch and then drove to Riley's school for the highly anticipated Christmas program. Riley was front and center and so cute, probably the cutest.
Right? I'm not biased at all. Overall, it was great - I won't bore you with everything, but I got one half way decent little video of the song 'Jesus Was The Present'. My personal favorite was 'Take Me Out to the Stable' sung to the tune of 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame', but my video isn't as good.
The whole thing was adorable and it made me very happy that we had chosen this school for Riley this year. He's in just the right place at just the right level. He is one of the oldest kids in his class, having turned 5 on November 1st, but he's still one of the smallest kids, hence the front row. I guess he'll be following in his Mom and Uncle Matthew's footsteps - small ones, for a long, long time.
That afternoon, my little sister started laboring with her first baby. My parents were down in Austin with her and my brother lives there as well. I stayed up all night waiting for word of whether I had a niece or a nephew and then finally . . . it's a boy! Don't worry - a picture's coming, but you are stuck reading a little more first. Anyway - Augustus Casel Casarez was born on the 19th at 6 lbs 10 oz. A little cutie pie. Asheley took to nursing right away and 'Augie' is thriving. The new family is still getting used to the whole experience, but they are doing awesome!
At some point, I finally got around to frosting cookies for our own family. We had a few after the party, but not enough to make it through the holidays.
And once that mess was out of the way . . . I finally decided it was okay to mop my floors again so the cleaning ensued! Poor kids spent their first day of Christmas break helping me clean the house. They were so not happy with me. But we were getting something for Christmas we hadn't had in a while - guests! Overnight guests. Guests who weren't my sister or brother and would require an actual bed and a clean bathroom!
On Sunday, December 23rd, Scott and Tyler got up early and headed out with my brother in law and a friend to meet Scott's cousin Amy (from New Orleans) and head to "Jerry's World" for the Cowboys vs Saints game. It was Tyler's first NFL game and in preparation he had been softening towards the Cowboys during the whole fall season. I mean, the kids room is still decked out in Packers stuff and he is still due to inherit at least one share of Packers stock at some point, but we've been telling him for years he could cheer for both and he finally decided he believed us.
I don't think Scotty's ever been so proud! I am told that Tyler cheered like a die hard - right in the middle of a section overpowered by loud, smack-talking Saints fans. Scott's cousin came back to the house after the game and we had a Barrow family dinner and she and her friend stayed overnight. We had so much fun. I'm sure I consumed too much wine, but hey - that doesn't happen very often anymore! Regardless, Amy and Toni are welcome to visit any time! It was great and Amy was full of fun stories about the Barrow clan that we hadn't heard - including their tenuous ties to the infamous Clyde Barrow. Oh yes, we are related.
We had done our Christmas Eve services on Saturday night since the Cowboy game took care of Sunday and because we were helping host the big Hensel Christmas Eve party. After Amy left on Christmas Eve it was a whirlwind getting everything made, assembled and loaded to head to cousin Doug & Becki's. This was the first time they had hosted in their home, but it went very smoothly. It's always fun to play Dirty Santa, have Great Grandma hand out stockings to the little ones filled with goodies from all their relatives and of course, to eat, drink and be merry!
After the party, we headed home and crashed for the night while we waited for Santa to come down our chimney. As promised, mom and dad bought some more fun stuff and Santa brought less. Actually, all the kids stuff comes in much smaller packages these days so I was worried they would be underwhelmed compared to other years, but that was ridiculous. They were pretty excited on Christmas morning!
The boys got lots of 'hands on' toys, but the biggest hits were the Angry Birds slippers and Tyler's new faux leather jacket. When we took him to meet his dad later that day, Brian said it reminded him of his old 'Members Only' jacket. Could be. We spent some time playing with stuff and getting ready and then we noticed that the weather forecast had changed drastically by a full day. We had heard Christmas would be nice and then we'd possibly see a flurry or two if we were far enough north the next day, but no.
Anyway - with the change we tried to get moving faster and tried to accelerate our plans since they involved driving. Texans are not so good with driving and cold/white stuff. Lucky for me, I am married to a Texan who also lived in Milwaukee through 2 winters, as did I. It's just every one else we have to watch out for! We took Tyler to meet his dad and sent him off to drive even further north where the snow was already falling while we headed further east and tried to outrun the storm.
By the time we got to Scott's moms house though - the snow had found us once again and Riley had his wish granted for a white Christmas.
The kids opened a few more presents and played in the snow while the turkey finished cooking. It was a nice, laid back afternoon which is my favorite way to spend Christmas Day.
Lots of family togetherness, not a lot of pressure or craziness. We started the day by finishing our Jesse Tree and the boys spontaneously singing 'Happy Birthday' to Jesus before we opened gifts and we ended it with a wonderfully prepared meal with our family and then a drive home to see how our Christmas lights looked in the snow. Scott got a call from work with a delayed start the next day so he could sleep in a little bit. It was darned near perfect, especially when my kids slept until almost 10 the next morning.
I was preparing that morning for my next guest, my sweet friend Lara, who was going to stay with us for a couple days while her kids were gone to their dads as well, and then my phone rang. My nieces mother, Tara, called asking to drop Jocelyn off while she went to the hospital with her grandmother who had fallen on the ice. So the day after Christmas we found ourselves with an unexpected 2 year old. We thought hours maybe, but the hip was broken and there were hospital issues and transfers. So we had her all week - 4 whole days! I was thrilled to have the time to bond with her. And I was exhausted when it was over. Wow! We just don't live in 2 year old world anymore! My house isn't tricked out in toddler mode any longer and I forgot what it was like to have to watch someone every minute like that. (Big Kids are AWESOME!) Still - I do love those little ones and we did have a load of fun. They can visit any time, but I think I am more resolved than ever to not go back down this road myself. It was cute and very sweet though:
She fell asleep on my friend Lara the first night - the second night she passed out watching Bubble Guppies way before her bed time. She wouldn't nap for me with all the boys around so I guess she was exhausted. I love the cheese ball picture. Especially because that same week Riley did this:
Classic. Fall asleep with cheese balls. That's how we roll at Aunt Heather's house. LOL!
After Jocelyn left us, we went to our friends baby's 1st birthday party for a while. That was perfectly timed since she had a bunch of Babe's Chicken and sides (OMG - BEST Mashed Potatoes ever!) so we didn't have to make dinner and could just chill out and do puzzles with the kids for the night. That was something we couldn't do with a 2 year old in the house.
Tyler came back to us on Sunday and the next day we were back at the same friends house for our very family friendly New Years party. I have no pictures, but it was a ton of fun. Mandy made Sausage Balls which in my opinion is the best New Years Eve party food ever created and Keith played a bunch of 'best of' or 'worst of' or 'I am not sure where this falls' you tube videos on the tv. So I got to see a bunch of stuff that I missed last year. I kept hearing 'Where have you been?' (especially when I had no idea what 'Gangem Style' was and my 12 year old had to explain it to me) to which I kept answering 'In a Cave!' because obviously I don't spend enough time following what's 'trending'. Heck it took me the better part of 2012 just to accept a Pinterist invitation and after finally pinning some stuff I am just now starting to actually search for stuff out there! Oh - and I discovered Etsy in 2012 too. Oh. My. Goodness. The beautiful insanity.
But I digress . . . All 3 kids made it to midnight and that was a first for the 2 little ones. So I started 2013 with kisses from all 4 of my great guys. It's bound to be a fabulous year.
Dentist appointments for Tyler and Scooter on the 2nd made me question the fabulousness of the new year. I don't even want to talk about it actually. Let's just say there is another trip to Children's on the horizon so we don't have to relive the dental horror of 2011. Tyler needs a bit of work too to make room for some adult teeth that are coming in before the baby teeth are vacating the premesis. And our friggin insurance changed so it's all going to cost me a fortune. (Thanks for nothing Obamacare).
And then . . . finally . . . I got to go to Austin to meet my nephew. Actually, it was supposed to be the following day, but the schedule moved and things fell into place so I loaded the 3 boys up and headed down 35. En route we crossed paths with my parents who were finally leaving Austin after almost a month so we pulled over at a McDonalds in Belton and got some overdue hugs before moving on. My sister looks fabulous. In fact I think most new moms would envy her glow.
She and Perry had some Christmas presents for the boys which included these 2 cute personalized ornament puzzles for Scooter and Riley. I think Asheley really enjoyed working on them with the boys since she had spent most of the Christmas season figuring out this whole 'mothering a newborn' thing which most of us know is awesome and tough all rolled up into one!
The payoff, of course, is the baby. Whom I held a lot. And if you are friends with my on facebook you saw a picture of that. But I never thought to hand Asheley or Perry my camera to capture the moment for me. Augie is very sweet - and very tiny! Scooter came close to me while I held the baby and watched him from afar, but that was it - which is pretty good for him, actually. He likes them a little bigger (he lets Jocelyn push and pull him all over the place). Riley spent some time curled up next to Augie and I the 2nd day while he checked him out and patted his back. They both say they totally approve of baby and think we should keep him.
Tyler, though, is in love. Granted, he's had some practice with little ones - holding his brothers and his cousins. Last year he didn't hesitate to hold Caitlyn (Casey) when we offered and she was only 3 days old. But this was Tyler's Aunt Asheley's baby. They are pretty tight. Tight in a way I don't always get, and then I have to remind myself of my own bond with my Aunt Kaye. Don't get me wrong - he loves Jocelyn and Jaxon and held both of them when they were little, and he loves all of them with his big sensitive heart. But he's 2 years older, almost a teenager, and this baby is a living part of his closest Aunt that he can hold and touch and love. And so he did. And he didn't give the baby up. And I had to fight for time holding the baby with my son! LOL! Oh well - check it out:
And then, just when I thought I was going to get him back - the baby woke up and Tyler kind of refused to hand him over for a bit:
I know this face - I know this feeling. My Aunt Kaye had my cousin Brittany when I was 10 and this was me almost 30 years ago with that little angel. This right here is a bond that never ends. This one is special, I think, but Tyler is so loving to all his cousins it won't seem too different for a while. We'll have to watch and see. We spent the night with Matthew, Tara and Jocelyn, had another visit and lunch with the Casarez family and then hit the road so Tyler could work on his one project for over the holidays.
After our whirlwind adventure it was time to get ready to go back to school. The last day was spent getting hair cuts and playing with Grandpa and finding backpacks and lunchboxes. We are still not used to the alarm clock again. That's what happens when your kids sleep past 9:30 almost every day they are on vacation. I won't say this week has been pretty.
I have one more week of freedom before I delve back into school as well and I'm hoping I will find time to freeze some pre-prepared meals and get some more organizing done before my schedule takes off again. I sent Tyler off to school today with a bag full of dress clothes so that he can attend the Dallas Symphony tonight with his Orchestra. They are having dinner at Spaghetti Warehouse first. I kind of want to giggle about his first 'Band trip'/'Orchestra trip' since I have so many wonderful memories like that. He's groaning about before-school sectionals beginning next week, but he'll be fine.
It's bound to be another roller coaster year for us, certainly fast paced and crazy. I am trying to figure out a better way to track all the different schedules and to-do lists and crazy stuff so I don't miss anything. Having my own assignment schedule makes everything a bit more chaotic.
I hope you all had a blessed and happy holiday season and I hope you are taking some time to set some new goals for the new year like we are. Changes are in the air, some of them already trampling our schedule but we are trying to embrace them all.
Love and God Bless . . .
