Sometimes my friends and family who have one or less children say things to me like 'I don't know how you do it with three kids' or 'How do you keep it all together' or even the occasional well meaning, but so misguided 'you are supermom'. These things are really nice to hear and give me a tiny boost of confidence when I sometimes need it most. And there are certainly occasional moments that I feel like I've got it together and managing well, but most of the time it's not that easy.
I remember when Scott loaded all the kids up early one December morning, Riley was just one and Scooter was 2 1/2, to drive all the way to Rockwall for the Christmas parade and then pancakes with Santa and craft time at his mom's church for the day with his sisters and their daughters. I was happy to stay at home and be warm, but I sent him off with a full diaper bag and was somehow rewarded title of 'hero' by my hubby for having the bag full of fruit bars and peanut butter crackers. No one else had thought of snacks and all the kids (and parents) were grateful for the eats when they spent hours out in the cold. I think it was just luck. The other moms just had older kids and hadn't thought through the process in a while, and it was second nature for me at that time. I wasn't really a hero, just a well practiced mother who had learned the hard way what to take on any outing with my two toddlers.
And truthfully, most of the time I am just winging it. I've just gotten pretty good at the winging it thing. Sometimes I've got it together and am well prepared and organized which can make it look like (to the untrained eye) that I am super mom. Other times, well, not so much. Most of the time I actually just feel like I'm holding on by a thread. This past weekend was one of those times and in the spirit of honesty and forthrightness - I am going to tell you all about it. So you can have a good laugh at my expense.
On Friday morning after my minor temper tantrum, I tried to regain my composure and start my day. I thought I was doing good - ahead of schedule even. I bundled the kids up and tried to leave, but I couldn't find my car keys ANYWHERE. I eventually located the valet key and just assumed we wouldn't lock the front door. Five minutes wasted and we got out to the car. Only to discover that the van was covered in ice. I started the engine and the defrosters and realized quickly that if I didn't help it along we were going to be late. Ok, scraper. No scraper. Hmmmm - that's right, now I remember! Last year when we had that late burst of cold in March, my scraper/brush broke. I needed a new one, but that was 9 months ago and I completely forgot about it.
I trudged back in the house and luckily found my keys while I was scrambling around looking for something with which to scrape my windows. I finally settled on a metal spatula. That's right. That was me. The crazy woman in her driveway, scraping ice off of her windows with a cooking utensil. We finally got in the car and were ready to go when I glanced at my fuel meter and remembered that I didn't have any gas. My plan had been to go out the night before to buy printer ink and fill my car up, but I hadn't felt super well so I had stayed home instead. Now, I had to put gas in my car in 20 degree cold.
At the gas station, I tried to find an ice scraper, but no luck. I pumped the gas and froze my tush off and at this point I was no longer ahead of schedule, but close to behind schedule. My plan had been to go through McDonalds close to the hair place for coffee and hash browns. It's a treat for the kids they get to help them suffer through the wait for my hair dye to set. Except that at this point my hands were frozen and I didn't want to wait for my coffee so we got our goodies at Burger King by our house instead. Traffic then sucked so I showed up for my appointment 15 minutes late, but thankfully Liz is family and so she is required to forgive me.
Fast forward a few hours and my hair is done and Riley has crashed out for a rare, but long nap. So I didn't get the shopping done. But when he woke up at 2:30 (after peeing in my bed so that I now had to change my sheets) I decided to bundle up the kids for a quick errand. I still needed printer ink and I thought that it would be nice to meet Tyler at his bus stop and save him the walk home in an effort to apologize for my outburst that morning. We scrambled out the door and down the road to Office Max where I realized that I had forgotten to check the cartridge number before I left. I floundered around for a while and then remembered my printer number so I could get the ink. We piled back in the car and drove to wait for Tyler.
Just so you know - Tyler was very surprised and very happy to see us and the first words out of his mouth when he got in the car were an apology for the morning. So were mine. Such a great kid!!!!
As soon as I got home, I realized that I had remembered the printer number for my old printer and I had the wrong ink. Urgh. So, I went back to Office Max to exchange it for the correct number and then a rare treat - Taco Cabana for dinner, which I really needed so I didn't have to cook at this point. Now it was almost 7 p.m., pretty late for this family to be doing dinner, but it was Friday and it had been hectic. Sometime after 9 I headed back to the office to switch out the ink, only to discover that I had bought the right number cartridge, but that I had gotten color instead of black ink. I have plenty of color ink, but the black is seriously empty. AAARRGH.
I was frustrated, yes, but the weekend was just going to get better! The next morning, I was ready to hit Office Max once again for the ink. But then I dropped my phone on the kitchen floor (which is just concrete right now). The back flew off and when I put it back on and plugged into the charger, I got nothing. Nada. The phone was dead, wouldn't turn on, wouldn't anything. Not good. I need my phone. We have no land line, my phone is my connection to the rest of the world. I grabbed my purse and hit the door running, first Sprint and then Office Max.
Okay, getting to Sprint took an extra 20 minutes because Hwy 75 has been 'fixed', but I didn't know it was finished and I screwed up and couldn't get southbound on the service road until I was 3 exits north of where I was supposed to be, but I ran in and found a tech and slightly out of breath said 'my phone broke and I need it fixed, please help - I have a protection plan'. I was already trying to remember where my kids had left my old phone they were playing with, thinking I could use that one for a couple of days while I waited for a new one. The tech opened the back of the phone and said 'Do you have a battery?' Really? The thing had flown out when it dropped and I hadn't seen it against the almost black backdrop of my concrete floors. Okay, idiot leaving the building now.
I made it back to Office Max for the 3rd time in 12 hours and discovered they didn't carry my ink in black at all. But they did have the Office Max version at a very decent price. I bought it, came home and guess what? Not Compatible with my printer!!!!! At this point I was ready to cry, but I called Scotty and caught him as he was leaving the park with the kids and enroute to Home Depot. I convinced him to stop at Staples for my ink. He and the kids were proud to exclaim to me when they got home that they found the right one (Scott pointed out that it only took him one stop to do it). Finally, ink. I can print.
I needed the ink to print coupons so that I could go shopping. I spent the next several hours printing coupons and getting very frustrated with my computer. For some reason it won't let one of the best e-coupon sites print. I even upgraded some of my 'cleaning and maintaining' software to make this happen. I did a defrag on the thing, no luck. Eventually, I decided to make do with what I had and head out for the deals I had found and for our groceries for the week. I was finally ready to go grocery shopping at 4:30 on a Saturday afternoon, not my first choice.
I had 3 stops to make: Target, Albertsons and Kroger. I was doing this because I knew I could get some pretty good deals and save money. Normally, I wouldn't do it all in one day, but my schedule was shot at this point. I got to Target and spent 45 minutes walking around and finding the items I was getting for 50-75% off. I was pretty proud of myself as I handed my coupons to the checker and watched the dollars peel off of my total. Right up until the moment that I opened my purse.
Remember the part where I upgraded my software? That had required a card for payment and my wallet. Which was still sitting on my computer desk next to the printer. I couldn't pay for my stupid groceries.
The checker suspended my ticket and I left my groceries sitting there and drove home. When I pulled in, Scott was outside getting something from his truck. He said 'I was just going to text you that we need bread'. I know, I told him, I was buying bread. In fact, I was buying 6 loaves to stick in the freezer because I was getting it for 80 cents a loaf (super discount), but I forgot my wallet and couldn't pay for it! Oh honey, he said, I think you need about 2 days of sleep. Yep.
3 hours later, I made it home and unloaded my groceries. I had saved about $150 for my efforts and my kids thought I was super mom because one of my super deals was Star Wars fruit snacks. But I was D-O-N-E, DONE!
Sunday was a lot smoother except for the moment that both Liz and I forgot we had pastry in the oven for our impromptu brunch and they almost burned. And the Packers won - going to the Super Bowl, BABY! Pot Roast cooked all day in the crock pot and when we sat down to dinner I looked like a hero again. But, most of the time I'm not a hero, I am just winging it and hanging on by a thread.
Thanks and God Bless!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
I might have lost my temper . . .
I'll try and make this quick because I'm getting my hair done today - yay!
I'll admit it wasn't my finest moment. The top flew off of my head and not very nice words flew out at lightning speed. The nasty hormone demons are visiting my house today and they tend to remove any filter I have on a normal day and that doesn't even take into account how they decimate my patience.
But really! I was annoyed. At Tyler. Right before school. It began when I realized that even though I had asked him specifically (again) to get his homework signed and bag packed last night, he had completely ignored me (again) and told me 'I will in a minute' 10 times so he had to add that to his morning routine. Then he realized that he has misplaced his Thursday folder, either on the bus or somewhere along his walking-home route. Next he suddenly combusted by the pantry because he couldn't find syrup for the waffle he was making and when I said 'we ran out on Wednesday' he cried out 'WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!!!???!!!' like I was a moron because I didn't share this piece of breaking, hard core news with him immediately. He threw away the waffle and decided on toast, just as he realized that there were only 2 pieces of bread left and he needed one for his sandwich. When I quickly removed a piece from the toaster for his sandwich, he got all pissy and decided he didn't want toast. But he was out of time now and there was not the 15 minute stretch he needs for cereal. A whole lot of attitude ensued, culminating in something thrown at me that sounded a lot like 'FINE, I JUST WON'T EAT ANYTHING ALL DAY!'.
Patience gone. Filter gone. I went off and basically told him I was sick of being b---d at for what was NOT in the pantry, especially when there are about 10 healthy breakfast choices for him available.
In my defense - the pantry is so full right now that it threatens to spill on the kitchen floor when you open the door. It's the one re-organization project for the new year that I haven't gotten to yet. I have gotten really good at shopping for my family and when I did BIG grocery shopping just after Christmas, I spent just over $300 and we are still stocked up on almost all of our staples less milk, bread and minute rice which I have to buy constantly. There's plenty of meat, sides, veggies, snacks, lunch stuff, etc. I can't help it that we ran out of syrup and I knew the bread was low, but I also knew we had just enough to get us through today when I would be shopping again.
I also can't do anything about the fact that every time Tyler actually shops with me and picks a cereal out, he then decides that isn't the one he really wants to eat this month. That's all him. Or the fact that he takes an ever lengthening shower time so his hour of morning prep gets less and less sufficient for him. Nagging, prodding and yelling aren't working. If he runs out of time for breakfast (he CHOOSES to make this the last thing on his to-do list in the morning) then he is going to have to learn to get up earlier or prioritize better. I cannot do this for him. He knows what needs to get done every morning and he knows how much time he has, which is about 30 minutes more than he should actually need to get it done.
I'm just tired of feeling like I never have the right thing for him. He complained last night that we had no snacks, but what he really meant was that we had no popcorn left because he and Riley have eaten it all, we had no chocolate because I refuse to buy any while there is still Christmas candy lingering, we had no chips because he had to save the last little bag for his lunch today and he and Scott had depleted the last bag of tortilla chips the night before. What we did have was plentiful, but he wasn't in the mood. He talked me into these Veggie Straw things at Sam's last month, then ate a few twice and left the bag alone. It's still 2/3 full. He should snack on that! But Heaven forbid I suggest it, because then it's out of the question. Same goes for the 2 boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios that he selected. Not interested as soon as I say 'Have some cheerios!'. You get the picture. And it's harder because he is literally hungry every 5 minutes thanks to this huge growth spurt thing.
Can you say SPOILED? Anyway, I blew up. He got mad. My rant woke 2 munchkins that would have slept another hour. My morning is shot. He left for school in a crappy mood. We did kind of make up and he did come back in the house to kiss me goodbye after his initial 'I'll wait in the car!' storm out. We'll be fine. I'll shop. After I get my hair done. Which will improve my mood considerably. And then we are going to have a long talk about respect and expectations and about eating what's available.
'nuff said. Have a great one and God Bless!
I'll admit it wasn't my finest moment. The top flew off of my head and not very nice words flew out at lightning speed. The nasty hormone demons are visiting my house today and they tend to remove any filter I have on a normal day and that doesn't even take into account how they decimate my patience.
But really! I was annoyed. At Tyler. Right before school. It began when I realized that even though I had asked him specifically (again) to get his homework signed and bag packed last night, he had completely ignored me (again) and told me 'I will in a minute' 10 times so he had to add that to his morning routine. Then he realized that he has misplaced his Thursday folder, either on the bus or somewhere along his walking-home route. Next he suddenly combusted by the pantry because he couldn't find syrup for the waffle he was making and when I said 'we ran out on Wednesday' he cried out 'WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!!!???!!!' like I was a moron because I didn't share this piece of breaking, hard core news with him immediately. He threw away the waffle and decided on toast, just as he realized that there were only 2 pieces of bread left and he needed one for his sandwich. When I quickly removed a piece from the toaster for his sandwich, he got all pissy and decided he didn't want toast. But he was out of time now and there was not the 15 minute stretch he needs for cereal. A whole lot of attitude ensued, culminating in something thrown at me that sounded a lot like 'FINE, I JUST WON'T EAT ANYTHING ALL DAY!'.
Patience gone. Filter gone. I went off and basically told him I was sick of being b---d at for what was NOT in the pantry, especially when there are about 10 healthy breakfast choices for him available.
In my defense - the pantry is so full right now that it threatens to spill on the kitchen floor when you open the door. It's the one re-organization project for the new year that I haven't gotten to yet. I have gotten really good at shopping for my family and when I did BIG grocery shopping just after Christmas, I spent just over $300 and we are still stocked up on almost all of our staples less milk, bread and minute rice which I have to buy constantly. There's plenty of meat, sides, veggies, snacks, lunch stuff, etc. I can't help it that we ran out of syrup and I knew the bread was low, but I also knew we had just enough to get us through today when I would be shopping again.
I also can't do anything about the fact that every time Tyler actually shops with me and picks a cereal out, he then decides that isn't the one he really wants to eat this month. That's all him. Or the fact that he takes an ever lengthening shower time so his hour of morning prep gets less and less sufficient for him. Nagging, prodding and yelling aren't working. If he runs out of time for breakfast (he CHOOSES to make this the last thing on his to-do list in the morning) then he is going to have to learn to get up earlier or prioritize better. I cannot do this for him. He knows what needs to get done every morning and he knows how much time he has, which is about 30 minutes more than he should actually need to get it done.
I'm just tired of feeling like I never have the right thing for him. He complained last night that we had no snacks, but what he really meant was that we had no popcorn left because he and Riley have eaten it all, we had no chocolate because I refuse to buy any while there is still Christmas candy lingering, we had no chips because he had to save the last little bag for his lunch today and he and Scott had depleted the last bag of tortilla chips the night before. What we did have was plentiful, but he wasn't in the mood. He talked me into these Veggie Straw things at Sam's last month, then ate a few twice and left the bag alone. It's still 2/3 full. He should snack on that! But Heaven forbid I suggest it, because then it's out of the question. Same goes for the 2 boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios that he selected. Not interested as soon as I say 'Have some cheerios!'. You get the picture. And it's harder because he is literally hungry every 5 minutes thanks to this huge growth spurt thing.
Can you say SPOILED? Anyway, I blew up. He got mad. My rant woke 2 munchkins that would have slept another hour. My morning is shot. He left for school in a crappy mood. We did kind of make up and he did come back in the house to kiss me goodbye after his initial 'I'll wait in the car!' storm out. We'll be fine. I'll shop. After I get my hair done. Which will improve my mood considerably. And then we are going to have a long talk about respect and expectations and about eating what's available.
'nuff said. Have a great one and God Bless!
Monday, January 17, 2011
Hide-And-Seek, Crazy Bedtimes, and some Quiet Time . . .
Do you hear that? Me either. Isn't it wonderful?!? It's called peace and quiet and it's a very rare occurrence in this house. Both hubby and Tyler are off for the MLK holiday and hubby took all 3 boys to visit his mom and help her get Christmas decorations in her attic. I am alone with 3 pets and mounds of laundry, but I'll take it.
As much as I love the quiet, it's funny how all I think of when my boys are gone is - my boys. I have been reflecting in their absence on some of the cute things they are doing these days. A couple quick examples (won't bore you endlessly with the massively cute things my kids do):
Scooter talks like a 3rd grader most days (takes after his mom like that), but he still has a few random words that don't come out just right and they are seriously adorable. My favorite is 'sibse'. I know you can't tell it by the phonetically silly way I spelled it, but this is actually 'since'. Scooter has been doing a lot more if..then reasoning lately and does a fair amount of attempting to figure a way around my 'no' answers, so I hear alot of 'sibse' which sometimes sounds more like 'sips' or 'simce'. He sounds more grown up every day and I know these simple misspeaks are on their way out the door, so I am trying to really enjoy the last couple that are lingering. I haven't corrected him once.
Riley's speech is a mess in general. I am still trying to determine if he's in the normal range or not (I strongly suspect that he is) because Tyler and Scooter had practically no pronunciation problems after 2 and we could understand them both without any major difficulty. Riley can talk very clearly one minute and then the next you can't understand a thing he says. It's cute though. Scott spent a long time on Thursday trying to figure out why Riley wanted 'two cheeses' for lunch when what he really wanted was 'grilled cheese' and the whole while he was pointing to the picture of one on the package of cheese slices. Scott said he should have gotten it, especially with the visual, but that's how it goes some days. However, Riley's two cutest things lately are how he asks for 'just a little bit', clear as a bell and so sweetly that you have a really hard time sticking to a no answer; and how he says goodbye to everything in the house when he's getting ready to leave, including kisses for random items like the comforter or the lamp. It keeps us from leaving on time, but you can't help but laugh while he's doing it. His manners are improving at rocket speed too, lots more unprompted 'please, thank-you, no-thank-you and bless you'-s from his lips - so sweet.
Tyler and I have been working on his science fair project and it's probably the first year that hasn't made me want to crawl under a rock and cry about it (I figured out that between the 3 boys I have 13 more of these to do after this one, on a countdown). He's super into his experiment and working really hard on it. I've really enjoyed our brainstorming sessions on making this thing be really awesome. Didn't know I could ever enjoy watching metal rust this much. Fairly alarmed though on how fast the metal is rusting in my tap water - almost faster than the salt water. Insert audible sigh. Anyway, Tyler's most adorable moment recently was actually when he was in tears. That probably sounds a bit sadistic, but hear me out. I am lobbying like a mad woman to the two 'men' in my life to get our Boxer, Brewer, neutered - like yesterday. The plan was to breed him, but I can't get to the breeding part without getting through some more training which is a super crazy obstacle since he has dominance issues with me. Vicious circle and I am losing my sanity being stuck in a battle of wills with a 16 month old dog every day. When I took him to the vet on Saturday, even they begged me to do it after he jumped up on a nurse's shoulders and stuck his face into hers. He's too sweet to hurt anyone intentionally, but they were very concerned about the dominance issue. Anyway, last week I told Scott & Tyler they had 3 weeks to show me that they were committed to making a difference with Brewer and to prove to me that he could improve or I was getting him snipped. I didn't say it that nice though, so Tyler broke down crying, telling me that he was just a dog, and he was just like us, and he wanted him to stay just as he was. He was so stressed out about it even though he really doesn't get what's actually involved. His tears were heart melting. Now that he's calmed down, I have explained the surgery in a bit more detail and how it won't hurt Brewer, only help him to be more of a companion dog to him, help him calm down and be able to concentrate more on the training we are trying to do with him. He's a little more settled, but still really worried about his dog. I think Scott is half-sold on the idea too, but I am still going to have to work really hard on this. I'm convinced though, especially when this morning it took me 5 full minutes of stare-down time to get him to 'sit' before I would open the door and let him outside to pee. He doesn't do that with the guys. I love Tyler's big, sensitive heart though.
After reading James Dobson's book on raising boys last year, I have tried very hard to stay relaxed and unconcerned when the boys are roughhousing in the evenings. I used to get all stressed out when they were running non-stop and louder than I could handle during a time when I just wanted to chill out in peace after a long day. Understanding more about how boys process physically though has helped me chill out in this area and just enjoy it (or run and hide in a quiet room until it's over). Scott spends time tickling, wrestling and playing with the boys almost every night in some form or another, but my favorite is when they play hide-and-seek. It's the two little one's favorite game and I love to watch it happen.
Hide-and-Go-Seek, as the kids like to call it, has a couple of weird rules in our tiny house. First, Riley needs help counting so he is usually teamed up with someone for seeking. He also has trouble keeping his eyes closed so generally he is relegated to one end of the house for counting while the hiding goes on at the other end. Second, no one is allowed to start counting until the hiding party is actually hidden. Not exactly sure how this got started, but probably has something to do with the fact that counting goes something like '1,2,3, super fast and incomprehensible numbers, 15 - Ready or Not Here I Come!' with the seekers already running to find while they are still counting. So, I hear a lot of 'Can I count yet?', 'No, Don't Count Yet' and 'You can count Now!' during these games. One last rule, the sneeze. When Scott hides and the little ones seek, he usually picks a commonly used hiding spot or a fairly obvious one, but every once in a while he will throw them off with something they hadn't thought of yet and they have a hard time locating him. When they start to lose steam and haven't 'got him' yet, you will hear a little 'Achoo' from some area of the house, giving the boys a big hint and then they are off and running again. Scooter will sometimes use the sneeze as well, but when Tyler plays he absolutely refuses to use it and will stay quiet and hiding for a really long time. He thinks the sneeze is cheating. He also can't stand it when Scooter was 'found' and then helps his dad and Riley 'find' Tyler, when Scooter saw where Tyler was hiding in the first place. Drives him crazy.
Me, I love this game! I love watching the boys get so into it and using their imagination and playing with their dad. I am more likely to sit with them to do a puzzle or read a book, but their dad is always ready to get up and do something physical with them which I know is super important to their development in more ways than one. I love hearing Riley get better and better at counting every time they play. I love watching him be so excited to go 'seek' as he passes in front of me that he does this funny walk/run/skip/hop combo thing that makes it look like his feet are moving twice as fast as they actually are. I love seeing Scooter's face when he starts to 'get' another nuance to the game or think of a new hiding spot. I love listening to him negotiate with his dad for '4 more times' instead of the 'one more' Scotty was promising. I love it when Brewer ruins Scotty's hiding place by finding it first. I even love hearing Tyler get frustrated with the little boy version of the game.
Last night, I sat watching CSI Miami in my living room, pausing every time the loud munchkins ran through the room and enjoying their enthusiasm. They were hyped up, which is normal and probably good for them, but not necessarily a good thing when it runs smack into bed time. Bed time has gotten considerably better over the last few months, but it is still challenging. Some nights, I can put Scooter and Riley to bed and they are out in 2 seconds, others they stay in their beds on their own chatting together until they go to sleep. And then there are nights like last night, where I want to pull my hair out. The constantly rising kids to get one more drink coupled with chatterbox pre-schoolers and whining because 'we just can't go to sleep if you aren't in here' is enough to make me crazy. It's my fault - I let the game go on too long and I let them stay up too late, but it was so cute. I paid the price for it and I was losing my mind.
I need to go back and reread my post from August about bedtimes so I can see how far we've come and get some perspective. I need to remember that it's a marathon not a sprint. I need to BREATHE. It's a whole lot easier than before, but it still isn't what I want it to be. I am longing for the time that I will put these two little trouble-makers to bed and they will stay there. I hope it's soon, but I think I have a few more months of work ahead of me. And on nights like last night, I know I have to remember to focus on the really adorable things my kids do instead of the annoying ones, so I don't blow my top. And then I need to pour myself a glass of wine 'sibse' I know this season isn't really going to go on forever.
God Bless!
As much as I love the quiet, it's funny how all I think of when my boys are gone is - my boys. I have been reflecting in their absence on some of the cute things they are doing these days. A couple quick examples (won't bore you endlessly with the massively cute things my kids do):
Scooter talks like a 3rd grader most days (takes after his mom like that), but he still has a few random words that don't come out just right and they are seriously adorable. My favorite is 'sibse'. I know you can't tell it by the phonetically silly way I spelled it, but this is actually 'since'. Scooter has been doing a lot more if..then reasoning lately and does a fair amount of attempting to figure a way around my 'no' answers, so I hear alot of 'sibse' which sometimes sounds more like 'sips' or 'simce'. He sounds more grown up every day and I know these simple misspeaks are on their way out the door, so I am trying to really enjoy the last couple that are lingering. I haven't corrected him once.
Riley's speech is a mess in general. I am still trying to determine if he's in the normal range or not (I strongly suspect that he is) because Tyler and Scooter had practically no pronunciation problems after 2 and we could understand them both without any major difficulty. Riley can talk very clearly one minute and then the next you can't understand a thing he says. It's cute though. Scott spent a long time on Thursday trying to figure out why Riley wanted 'two cheeses' for lunch when what he really wanted was 'grilled cheese' and the whole while he was pointing to the picture of one on the package of cheese slices. Scott said he should have gotten it, especially with the visual, but that's how it goes some days. However, Riley's two cutest things lately are how he asks for 'just a little bit', clear as a bell and so sweetly that you have a really hard time sticking to a no answer; and how he says goodbye to everything in the house when he's getting ready to leave, including kisses for random items like the comforter or the lamp. It keeps us from leaving on time, but you can't help but laugh while he's doing it. His manners are improving at rocket speed too, lots more unprompted 'please, thank-you, no-thank-you and bless you'-s from his lips - so sweet.
Tyler and I have been working on his science fair project and it's probably the first year that hasn't made me want to crawl under a rock and cry about it (I figured out that between the 3 boys I have 13 more of these to do after this one, on a countdown). He's super into his experiment and working really hard on it. I've really enjoyed our brainstorming sessions on making this thing be really awesome. Didn't know I could ever enjoy watching metal rust this much. Fairly alarmed though on how fast the metal is rusting in my tap water - almost faster than the salt water. Insert audible sigh. Anyway, Tyler's most adorable moment recently was actually when he was in tears. That probably sounds a bit sadistic, but hear me out. I am lobbying like a mad woman to the two 'men' in my life to get our Boxer, Brewer, neutered - like yesterday. The plan was to breed him, but I can't get to the breeding part without getting through some more training which is a super crazy obstacle since he has dominance issues with me. Vicious circle and I am losing my sanity being stuck in a battle of wills with a 16 month old dog every day. When I took him to the vet on Saturday, even they begged me to do it after he jumped up on a nurse's shoulders and stuck his face into hers. He's too sweet to hurt anyone intentionally, but they were very concerned about the dominance issue. Anyway, last week I told Scott & Tyler they had 3 weeks to show me that they were committed to making a difference with Brewer and to prove to me that he could improve or I was getting him snipped. I didn't say it that nice though, so Tyler broke down crying, telling me that he was just a dog, and he was just like us, and he wanted him to stay just as he was. He was so stressed out about it even though he really doesn't get what's actually involved. His tears were heart melting. Now that he's calmed down, I have explained the surgery in a bit more detail and how it won't hurt Brewer, only help him to be more of a companion dog to him, help him calm down and be able to concentrate more on the training we are trying to do with him. He's a little more settled, but still really worried about his dog. I think Scott is half-sold on the idea too, but I am still going to have to work really hard on this. I'm convinced though, especially when this morning it took me 5 full minutes of stare-down time to get him to 'sit' before I would open the door and let him outside to pee. He doesn't do that with the guys. I love Tyler's big, sensitive heart though.
After reading James Dobson's book on raising boys last year, I have tried very hard to stay relaxed and unconcerned when the boys are roughhousing in the evenings. I used to get all stressed out when they were running non-stop and louder than I could handle during a time when I just wanted to chill out in peace after a long day. Understanding more about how boys process physically though has helped me chill out in this area and just enjoy it (or run and hide in a quiet room until it's over). Scott spends time tickling, wrestling and playing with the boys almost every night in some form or another, but my favorite is when they play hide-and-seek. It's the two little one's favorite game and I love to watch it happen.
Hide-and-Go-Seek, as the kids like to call it, has a couple of weird rules in our tiny house. First, Riley needs help counting so he is usually teamed up with someone for seeking. He also has trouble keeping his eyes closed so generally he is relegated to one end of the house for counting while the hiding goes on at the other end. Second, no one is allowed to start counting until the hiding party is actually hidden. Not exactly sure how this got started, but probably has something to do with the fact that counting goes something like '1,2,3, super fast and incomprehensible numbers, 15 - Ready or Not Here I Come!' with the seekers already running to find while they are still counting. So, I hear a lot of 'Can I count yet?', 'No, Don't Count Yet' and 'You can count Now!' during these games. One last rule, the sneeze. When Scott hides and the little ones seek, he usually picks a commonly used hiding spot or a fairly obvious one, but every once in a while he will throw them off with something they hadn't thought of yet and they have a hard time locating him. When they start to lose steam and haven't 'got him' yet, you will hear a little 'Achoo' from some area of the house, giving the boys a big hint and then they are off and running again. Scooter will sometimes use the sneeze as well, but when Tyler plays he absolutely refuses to use it and will stay quiet and hiding for a really long time. He thinks the sneeze is cheating. He also can't stand it when Scooter was 'found' and then helps his dad and Riley 'find' Tyler, when Scooter saw where Tyler was hiding in the first place. Drives him crazy.
Me, I love this game! I love watching the boys get so into it and using their imagination and playing with their dad. I am more likely to sit with them to do a puzzle or read a book, but their dad is always ready to get up and do something physical with them which I know is super important to their development in more ways than one. I love hearing Riley get better and better at counting every time they play. I love watching him be so excited to go 'seek' as he passes in front of me that he does this funny walk/run/skip/hop combo thing that makes it look like his feet are moving twice as fast as they actually are. I love seeing Scooter's face when he starts to 'get' another nuance to the game or think of a new hiding spot. I love listening to him negotiate with his dad for '4 more times' instead of the 'one more' Scotty was promising. I love it when Brewer ruins Scotty's hiding place by finding it first. I even love hearing Tyler get frustrated with the little boy version of the game.
Last night, I sat watching CSI Miami in my living room, pausing every time the loud munchkins ran through the room and enjoying their enthusiasm. They were hyped up, which is normal and probably good for them, but not necessarily a good thing when it runs smack into bed time. Bed time has gotten considerably better over the last few months, but it is still challenging. Some nights, I can put Scooter and Riley to bed and they are out in 2 seconds, others they stay in their beds on their own chatting together until they go to sleep. And then there are nights like last night, where I want to pull my hair out. The constantly rising kids to get one more drink coupled with chatterbox pre-schoolers and whining because 'we just can't go to sleep if you aren't in here' is enough to make me crazy. It's my fault - I let the game go on too long and I let them stay up too late, but it was so cute. I paid the price for it and I was losing my mind.
I need to go back and reread my post from August about bedtimes so I can see how far we've come and get some perspective. I need to remember that it's a marathon not a sprint. I need to BREATHE. It's a whole lot easier than before, but it still isn't what I want it to be. I am longing for the time that I will put these two little trouble-makers to bed and they will stay there. I hope it's soon, but I think I have a few more months of work ahead of me. And on nights like last night, I know I have to remember to focus on the really adorable things my kids do instead of the annoying ones, so I don't blow my top. And then I need to pour myself a glass of wine 'sibse' I know this season isn't really going to go on forever.
God Bless!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Icy Cold and Coupon Mania . . .
BBBRRRRRR! It's cold this morning. Wind Chill ridiculous in the single digits cold. For my yankee friends and family, I know you are saying 'so what?', but for Texas this is major, bone chilling cold. I am not a big fan. Of course, I am not a huge fan of 110 degree days in the summer either so my hubby says I am generally not happy about the weather at all and extremely hard to please. Maybe so. I would be super happy living in a place that stayed in the 60-80 degree range most of the time, but then again I don't know anyone who actually does and I would be lonely without friends and family surrounding me so I guess I am stuck here. Sigh.
This brutal cold front has left us with a couple of issues to deal with in the Barrow house. First, my little kids don't seem to care that walking outside is like plunging into a vat of ice water, they just want to play outside. There is snow on the trampoline, mom, we HAVE to go outside. Keeping them inside is a challenge an that's exactly where I want to be, inside.
Second, Scott's heater is out in the truck. Well, actually it isn't the heater, it's some residual problem with the radiator leaking into the car that has something to do with an installation problem from when we spent $4K (yes, really) this summer to rebuild the engine in his Dodge. It was a sort of joint decision to make this repair instead of scrapping the Dodge and buying a new vehicle. I was on the scrapping side of the discussion, but Scott really loves his truck. And truthfully, we haven't had a car payment in 4 years. It's really nice and it has saved our butts during the tough times we've had. Neither one of us is really anxious to add that expense to our budget again anytime soon, even though we know it's eventually inevitable (except that the car payment will be for something fabulous I will eventually drive since Scott has promised to drive his truck forever after spending that kind of money on the thing). So, the radiator is fine as long as Scott doesn't run his heater which is not a problem in Texas for about 10 months of the year (at least for him, me - I'd be freezing and begging for it to be fixed, but he's a strong manly-man and says he can handle it). When the cold front was announced, I asked him again what the repair estimate was on the truck. I cringed at the answer, but was willing to make the adjustments in our budget. No, Scott said, it can wait. It's only a few more weeks until March and I won't notice. A sidenote - his toughing this out is making it much easier to live with the 'squeak' in my van when I turn the steering wheel. Evidently, this is a clock spring that would cost $400 before labor to replace and doesn't affect the actual function of the steering wheel. Let it squeak, baby.
So, Scotty is toughing out the ridiculous cold in his truck for his 20-30 minute commute every morning which brings us to our 3rd issue with the cold - Tyler. Tyler usually rides his bike 3 blocks to a neighborhood school and then waits for a bus that takes him across town to his Magnet school. He's been complaining lately that it's getting really difficult during the winter months to get this done. He's not complaining about the temperatures, but wearing his big bulky winter coat, coupled with an overstuffed back-pack (thanks to the massive class required binder, 4 spirals and the school issued Netbook and case that he must tote back and forth every day) while trying to keep lunch bag in hand (doesn't fit in the backpack for previously mentioned reasons) and keep the bike lock wrapped around the handle-bars while riding (also doesn't fit . . .) is all making him topple over occasionally on the way to school and back. He would rather walk home. Scott can drop him at the neighborhood school enroute to work without messing up his traffic patterns.
Yesterday, Scott offered to let Tyler wait for the bus in the truck instead of getting out and waiting on the school steps, but Tyler turned him down. Today, I told him it wasn't an option. He didn't see the point since there isn't heat in the truck, but I convinced him that even without a heater, it would still be better than getting struck with the strong winds that were going to make it feel like it was 9 degrees outside. I might have even made some vague, smiling references to frost-bite and hypothermia to my alarmist child. Anything to keep him from catching pneumonia this week. Don't judge me, I'm just making it work. :)
I would have been completely satisfied to not walk outside my front door all week to avoid the cold front, but that isn't how managing a family of five works. Really, when Scooter slept in yesterday and I was faced with waking him up to get out the door, I seriously contemplated NOT going to my first MOPS meeting of the year. A few misguided conversations with a couple of these women in December (crazy women telling me how 2 children was the perfect number, gag) had left me wondering if I even WANTED to go back. I'm definitely the oldest member of the group, and there's only one other mom who has a school-aged child (1st grader) so I have been feeling slightly out of place. Except that our ASSIGNED mentor mom has been consistently absent most meetings. And there are two moms in the group who keep asking for my advice about raising boys. And, I've been praying about it. The thing about asking God for guidance is that you are usually going to get it. God was almost screaming at me to GO, GO, GO. So, I went. I always say, I have enough disobedience in my day to day life, disobeying a direct order from my Lord seems a bit much. :) I think God is turning me into a pseudo-mentor-mom for my group, and yesterday I was mistaken twice for the group leader. NOT my intention, but oh well - play the hand you are dealt.
I had major mixed feelings, but I made myself look half-way pretty and got my kids bundled up and out the door. Bbrrr. I settled into my seat and prepared myself for boredom. So far, the speakers we've had this year have really not been great. No major impact on this life here. I am looking forward to the meeting in February entitled 'Parenting the Strong-Willed Child and Handling Sibling Rivalry' for obvious reasons. It was probably my main motivator in paying spring dues at all. Yesterday's meeting was 'Tips for Saving Money'. Okay, I'm listening. But, honestly, I was expecting a discourse on sewing your own clothes and finding side jobs and budgeting for college. WRONG! The speaker had me hooked before she took the stage because she sat at our table to eat her brunch and she was extremely engaging and fun. Natalie Reid was her name. Anyway, she's one of those 'Coupon' people. You know the complete nuts who spend all their time clipping coupons and finding all the deals to pay next to nothing for goodies and then stockpile them. (Not a hoarder, I am assured, she donates all the free items she gets that she doesn't need).
Okay, I'm hooked, I admit it. I loooove a bargain. I love to save money. Anything I don't spend on groceries or clothes or whatever else, is money that goes towards my family's financial goals and financial future. I've done a pretty good job of slimming our grocery budget by about 40% by letting go of a lot of brand names, knowing where the best prices are and being willing to shop at multiple stores to get what we need. I usually see it as a huge part of my role as stay-at-home mom, finding ways to save money. I spent an entire day on the phone in December with insurance agents and saved our family $1K for 2011 in premiums without sacrificing (and in one case, improving) our coverage. Technically, that's the equivalent of almost 3 months of work-pay that I used to bring home after paying for gas and day care. Couple that with the $1K I saved on Black Friday and I have basically saved what I would have brought home in 6 months for 2 days worth of work. If you throw in the grocery savings for the past 9 months - I am probably 'making' money for our family by NOT working. Plus I am providing my family with an unmeasurable amount of security by just being here with my kids. At least, that's how Scott and I see things and that's why our family works.
Anyway - despite all my efforts to save money, I have previously not been too successful with the coupon thing. I would look at a coupon for $.25 off of Cheerios and think that I was saving more by buying the identical, off-brand version at Walmart. Couponing is hard work and not always worth the effort. Or so I thought.
Let me sidetrack for a moment and tell you about an experience I had when Riley was a baby and Scooter a toddler. Two kids in diapers and it was killing my weekly grocery budget. I got an email from a cousin in WI with all these instructions for Walgreens. You had to get the weekly circular and then some other in-store monthly coupon thing. You would buy 3 packages of Walgreens brand diapers (completely acceptable if you are not in the newborn stage which is about the only time that brand matters) and use these 2 coupons for the diapers. You would pay $4-something at the register and get a $5 Register Rewards coupon at check out (basically $5 to use on anything else at a future date). They were essentially paying you $.30 per package to walk out of the store with their diapers. It was friggin amazing. I loved it. I drove around to 4 or 5 different Walgreens and did this deal. I had 12 or 15 packages of diapers and I got paid to have them. I didn't have to buy diapers for a while, which was nice. I didn't pay for them, which was better. I was completely empowered! This was the coolest experience ever. How could I do it again? I never found out - until yesterday.
Wow! The deals are out there and there are about 50 websites by moms who go and figure these deals out and pass them on to you. And now, thanks to technology, you can load them in your Google Reader and just hit 'Next Item' while you browse through them. There are a few catches, like you have to save the weekly circulars in a file because sometimes to get the free or almost free savings you need a coupon from 2 months ago and well, you have to have the time to read through all the stuff! However, there are apps that enable you to see your Google Reader on your smart phone so you could cycle through the stuff in the car pool line or the doctor's office waiting room if you were so inclined. There are even apps now that load extra coupons to your phone and can be scanned at register directly from your phone. You can also now load extra coupons directly to your rewards card for grocery stores and still use them with other hard copy store coupons and manufacturer coupons. Technology is amazing and I wish I had known before that you could use both the store and manufacturer coupons together - I thought it was an either/or kind of thing.
Some other things I did NOT know about coupons that you might find interesting and have changed the game for me:
1 - When you clip the coupon, you don't use it right away. ???? Right? Turns out it's the first wave of the manufacturer's campaign. You are supposed to wait it out a week or two because the second wave is that they are going to put the items on sale. You use the coupon 2-3 weeks later when the item goes on sale and get double or more savings.
2 - All the major grocery stores double and triple coupons every single day. This I really didn't know. Use your rewards card at check out and any coupon $.39 and below gets automatically tripled while $.40 to $1.00 get doubled - every day! So that quarter savings I discarded on the cheerios was in fact $.75 and if I had waited 2 weeks it would have been $.50 off on sale so I could have had the box for half off and saved over Walmart anyway.
3 - Every product is on about a 3 month cycle for pricing so if you are really industrious, you can track pricing on your most purchased items and figure out when they have the lowest price. Use your coupons then for your maximum savings and stock up so you don't have to buy them again for 3 months.
4 - I never got the front page of the store ads - I just brushed them aside while I was looking for coupons. Turns out, these are some great deals. They are called 'loss leaders'. They are the items that your store has decided to take a loss on in order to get you through the door. So, this is where you should shop for meat and produce deals and should determine what's on your menu for the week.
I think all this stuff is going to up my game. I am going to turn my 40% grocery savings into 50-75% if I can. I already spent hours yesterday loading websites into my Reader and scanning the deals that I can't get yet because I don't have the paper sections. Grumble, sigh. However, I am getting the feel for it and I did sign up for several cool giveaways and sweepstakes entries. I created a new hotmail account just for all this crud so I don't get overwhelmed with spam in my regular life. And I am going to make a side trip to Target where I will be getting 2 Reach toothbrushes for $.10 total as well as dental floss for free. I also am going to Walgreens to get some granola bars for a quarter. Places I would shop anyway and things I need regardless.
It was worth the trip out the door in the cold. If I can save $1000 more this year in groceries then it will be worth my time saving some paper and clipping some coupons. Now, if I can just get my sorry butt out of my cozy warm pj's and slippers and out the door, I can actually MAKE some money at one of my side jobs today too. But, it's really cold out there . . .
Thanks and God Bless!
This brutal cold front has left us with a couple of issues to deal with in the Barrow house. First, my little kids don't seem to care that walking outside is like plunging into a vat of ice water, they just want to play outside. There is snow on the trampoline, mom, we HAVE to go outside. Keeping them inside is a challenge an that's exactly where I want to be, inside.
Second, Scott's heater is out in the truck. Well, actually it isn't the heater, it's some residual problem with the radiator leaking into the car that has something to do with an installation problem from when we spent $4K (yes, really) this summer to rebuild the engine in his Dodge. It was a sort of joint decision to make this repair instead of scrapping the Dodge and buying a new vehicle. I was on the scrapping side of the discussion, but Scott really loves his truck. And truthfully, we haven't had a car payment in 4 years. It's really nice and it has saved our butts during the tough times we've had. Neither one of us is really anxious to add that expense to our budget again anytime soon, even though we know it's eventually inevitable (except that the car payment will be for something fabulous I will eventually drive since Scott has promised to drive his truck forever after spending that kind of money on the thing). So, the radiator is fine as long as Scott doesn't run his heater which is not a problem in Texas for about 10 months of the year (at least for him, me - I'd be freezing and begging for it to be fixed, but he's a strong manly-man and says he can handle it). When the cold front was announced, I asked him again what the repair estimate was on the truck. I cringed at the answer, but was willing to make the adjustments in our budget. No, Scott said, it can wait. It's only a few more weeks until March and I won't notice. A sidenote - his toughing this out is making it much easier to live with the 'squeak' in my van when I turn the steering wheel. Evidently, this is a clock spring that would cost $400 before labor to replace and doesn't affect the actual function of the steering wheel. Let it squeak, baby.
So, Scotty is toughing out the ridiculous cold in his truck for his 20-30 minute commute every morning which brings us to our 3rd issue with the cold - Tyler. Tyler usually rides his bike 3 blocks to a neighborhood school and then waits for a bus that takes him across town to his Magnet school. He's been complaining lately that it's getting really difficult during the winter months to get this done. He's not complaining about the temperatures, but wearing his big bulky winter coat, coupled with an overstuffed back-pack (thanks to the massive class required binder, 4 spirals and the school issued Netbook and case that he must tote back and forth every day) while trying to keep lunch bag in hand (doesn't fit in the backpack for previously mentioned reasons) and keep the bike lock wrapped around the handle-bars while riding (also doesn't fit . . .) is all making him topple over occasionally on the way to school and back. He would rather walk home. Scott can drop him at the neighborhood school enroute to work without messing up his traffic patterns.
Yesterday, Scott offered to let Tyler wait for the bus in the truck instead of getting out and waiting on the school steps, but Tyler turned him down. Today, I told him it wasn't an option. He didn't see the point since there isn't heat in the truck, but I convinced him that even without a heater, it would still be better than getting struck with the strong winds that were going to make it feel like it was 9 degrees outside. I might have even made some vague, smiling references to frost-bite and hypothermia to my alarmist child. Anything to keep him from catching pneumonia this week. Don't judge me, I'm just making it work. :)
I would have been completely satisfied to not walk outside my front door all week to avoid the cold front, but that isn't how managing a family of five works. Really, when Scooter slept in yesterday and I was faced with waking him up to get out the door, I seriously contemplated NOT going to my first MOPS meeting of the year. A few misguided conversations with a couple of these women in December (crazy women telling me how 2 children was the perfect number, gag) had left me wondering if I even WANTED to go back. I'm definitely the oldest member of the group, and there's only one other mom who has a school-aged child (1st grader) so I have been feeling slightly out of place. Except that our ASSIGNED mentor mom has been consistently absent most meetings. And there are two moms in the group who keep asking for my advice about raising boys. And, I've been praying about it. The thing about asking God for guidance is that you are usually going to get it. God was almost screaming at me to GO, GO, GO. So, I went. I always say, I have enough disobedience in my day to day life, disobeying a direct order from my Lord seems a bit much. :) I think God is turning me into a pseudo-mentor-mom for my group, and yesterday I was mistaken twice for the group leader. NOT my intention, but oh well - play the hand you are dealt.
I had major mixed feelings, but I made myself look half-way pretty and got my kids bundled up and out the door. Bbrrr. I settled into my seat and prepared myself for boredom. So far, the speakers we've had this year have really not been great. No major impact on this life here. I am looking forward to the meeting in February entitled 'Parenting the Strong-Willed Child and Handling Sibling Rivalry' for obvious reasons. It was probably my main motivator in paying spring dues at all. Yesterday's meeting was 'Tips for Saving Money'. Okay, I'm listening. But, honestly, I was expecting a discourse on sewing your own clothes and finding side jobs and budgeting for college. WRONG! The speaker had me hooked before she took the stage because she sat at our table to eat her brunch and she was extremely engaging and fun. Natalie Reid was her name. Anyway, she's one of those 'Coupon' people. You know the complete nuts who spend all their time clipping coupons and finding all the deals to pay next to nothing for goodies and then stockpile them. (Not a hoarder, I am assured, she donates all the free items she gets that she doesn't need).
Okay, I'm hooked, I admit it. I loooove a bargain. I love to save money. Anything I don't spend on groceries or clothes or whatever else, is money that goes towards my family's financial goals and financial future. I've done a pretty good job of slimming our grocery budget by about 40% by letting go of a lot of brand names, knowing where the best prices are and being willing to shop at multiple stores to get what we need. I usually see it as a huge part of my role as stay-at-home mom, finding ways to save money. I spent an entire day on the phone in December with insurance agents and saved our family $1K for 2011 in premiums without sacrificing (and in one case, improving) our coverage. Technically, that's the equivalent of almost 3 months of work-pay that I used to bring home after paying for gas and day care. Couple that with the $1K I saved on Black Friday and I have basically saved what I would have brought home in 6 months for 2 days worth of work. If you throw in the grocery savings for the past 9 months - I am probably 'making' money for our family by NOT working. Plus I am providing my family with an unmeasurable amount of security by just being here with my kids. At least, that's how Scott and I see things and that's why our family works.
Anyway - despite all my efforts to save money, I have previously not been too successful with the coupon thing. I would look at a coupon for $.25 off of Cheerios and think that I was saving more by buying the identical, off-brand version at Walmart. Couponing is hard work and not always worth the effort. Or so I thought.
Let me sidetrack for a moment and tell you about an experience I had when Riley was a baby and Scooter a toddler. Two kids in diapers and it was killing my weekly grocery budget. I got an email from a cousin in WI with all these instructions for Walgreens. You had to get the weekly circular and then some other in-store monthly coupon thing. You would buy 3 packages of Walgreens brand diapers (completely acceptable if you are not in the newborn stage which is about the only time that brand matters) and use these 2 coupons for the diapers. You would pay $4-something at the register and get a $5 Register Rewards coupon at check out (basically $5 to use on anything else at a future date). They were essentially paying you $.30 per package to walk out of the store with their diapers. It was friggin amazing. I loved it. I drove around to 4 or 5 different Walgreens and did this deal. I had 12 or 15 packages of diapers and I got paid to have them. I didn't have to buy diapers for a while, which was nice. I didn't pay for them, which was better. I was completely empowered! This was the coolest experience ever. How could I do it again? I never found out - until yesterday.
Wow! The deals are out there and there are about 50 websites by moms who go and figure these deals out and pass them on to you. And now, thanks to technology, you can load them in your Google Reader and just hit 'Next Item' while you browse through them. There are a few catches, like you have to save the weekly circulars in a file because sometimes to get the free or almost free savings you need a coupon from 2 months ago and well, you have to have the time to read through all the stuff! However, there are apps that enable you to see your Google Reader on your smart phone so you could cycle through the stuff in the car pool line or the doctor's office waiting room if you were so inclined. There are even apps now that load extra coupons to your phone and can be scanned at register directly from your phone. You can also now load extra coupons directly to your rewards card for grocery stores and still use them with other hard copy store coupons and manufacturer coupons. Technology is amazing and I wish I had known before that you could use both the store and manufacturer coupons together - I thought it was an either/or kind of thing.
Some other things I did NOT know about coupons that you might find interesting and have changed the game for me:
1 - When you clip the coupon, you don't use it right away. ???? Right? Turns out it's the first wave of the manufacturer's campaign. You are supposed to wait it out a week or two because the second wave is that they are going to put the items on sale. You use the coupon 2-3 weeks later when the item goes on sale and get double or more savings.
2 - All the major grocery stores double and triple coupons every single day. This I really didn't know. Use your rewards card at check out and any coupon $.39 and below gets automatically tripled while $.40 to $1.00 get doubled - every day! So that quarter savings I discarded on the cheerios was in fact $.75 and if I had waited 2 weeks it would have been $.50 off on sale so I could have had the box for half off and saved over Walmart anyway.
3 - Every product is on about a 3 month cycle for pricing so if you are really industrious, you can track pricing on your most purchased items and figure out when they have the lowest price. Use your coupons then for your maximum savings and stock up so you don't have to buy them again for 3 months.
4 - I never got the front page of the store ads - I just brushed them aside while I was looking for coupons. Turns out, these are some great deals. They are called 'loss leaders'. They are the items that your store has decided to take a loss on in order to get you through the door. So, this is where you should shop for meat and produce deals and should determine what's on your menu for the week.
I think all this stuff is going to up my game. I am going to turn my 40% grocery savings into 50-75% if I can. I already spent hours yesterday loading websites into my Reader and scanning the deals that I can't get yet because I don't have the paper sections. Grumble, sigh. However, I am getting the feel for it and I did sign up for several cool giveaways and sweepstakes entries. I created a new hotmail account just for all this crud so I don't get overwhelmed with spam in my regular life. And I am going to make a side trip to Target where I will be getting 2 Reach toothbrushes for $.10 total as well as dental floss for free. I also am going to Walgreens to get some granola bars for a quarter. Places I would shop anyway and things I need regardless.
It was worth the trip out the door in the cold. If I can save $1000 more this year in groceries then it will be worth my time saving some paper and clipping some coupons. Now, if I can just get my sorry butt out of my cozy warm pj's and slippers and out the door, I can actually MAKE some money at one of my side jobs today too. But, it's really cold out there . . .
Thanks and God Bless!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
The Joy of 'Big' Boys . . .
I was really getting the hang of this not waking up early thing until Tyler had to return to school this morning after his winter break and the stupid alarm clock woke me at 6 a.m. again. It physically hurt to get out of bed that early again and now I am contemplating a virtual countdown on my computer for Spring Break.
In some ways I was really ready for Tyler to go back to school so that we could get back into our schedule here. Sleeping until 9 and then lounging in our pajamas until noon or after hasn't really helped me get going on the myriad of projects on my to-do list. He riles the kids up and gets them into things they would never ask me for during a normal day, including extra snacks. And watching him lay around playing video games while I try to find the energy to switch laundry around and clean bathrooms just makes me crazy. He helps when I ask him to, but mostly he just wants to enjoy his time off. I don't blame him, but it isn't making my job any easier.
On the other hand, I really love having Tyler home with me. He's old enough to have a really fun conversation with and it's nice to not just be surrounded by preschooler babble all day. He plays with the little ones quite a bit and keeps them occupied. When Tyler is on hand to help with getting toys off of high shelves, push play on a movie, help Scooter with a video game, open a cheese stick package, lay on the floor and help Riley get a puzzle started or put a broken toy back together my life is a whole lot easier and less chaotic. It's really nice to have an extra set of hands around so that I am not running for the little ones non-stop.
The best part about Tyler being home with the younger kids though, is that they stop acting so young. Scooter and Riley adore their older brother and they, of course, want to do just about everything he does. It isn't always possible, certainly, but that doesn't mean they won't try. It's amazing to me how much less they need me during the day when Tyler is around. Yes, he's a big help, but they also ask for considerably less attention all the way around when their big brother is there. Even when Tyler takes a break and loses himself in a book, ignoring everyone and everything around him, Scooter and Riley tend to fend for themselves more than when he's absent.
After shuffling home on New Year's Day sometime in the early afternoon (we spent the night at Scott's mom's with all his relatives - I struggled to stay awake until midnight then got a second wind and made it through a full game of Mexican train which kept us all up until 5 a.m.), Scott trudged outside to begin putting together the trampoline. He finished the base work before dark and then Sunday morning the two of us tackled the safety net installation for a few hours before it was finally ready to be jumped on. This trampoline might be the best investment ever. The kids love the thing and don't seem to need my constant attention to use it. Score!
I am so accustomed to Scooter begging me to be outside with the boys while they play, it's kind of strange to me that they will literally spend hours out on that trampoline without asking me for anything. It began on Sunday with just the little ones. We wouldn't hear from them for a half hour or 45 minutes at a time while they played. (Um, yes, I was checking on them every ten minutes or so through the window or by stepping outside.) With Tyler back home for the last 2 days, the uninterrupted jumping/playing episodes stretched to almost 2 hours at a time. Occasionally one or more of the kids would come inside for a drink, a snack, or one more toy to play with on the beast, but for the most part they were completely occupied. They alternated between putting every ball they could find on the thing while they jumped, jumping with pillow pets as extra cushion and fighting with light sabers while they 'forced' eachother so that they fell on the bouncy surface. I'm telling you - best money ever spent.
Anyway, trampoline aside, I am really kind of getting into this having 'big' boys thing. When Tyler was becoming a truly 'big' boy, I was busy planning a wedding and having another baby. I have loved watching him grow and become more independent, but I was so occupied with the 2 little ones that were dependent on me for everything I don't think I truly appreciated what was happening. Now, though, with the younger two starting to grow out of babyhood and 'little' boy-ness, I am kind of digging the advantages. It's pretty cool to not be needed for every single thing, every single minute of the day.
A few months ago, if you had asked me, I would have told you that I don't 'get' being done having children. Not that I don't understand having a limit or letting your body rest or deciding you don't have enough room, money or sanity for another kid. I understand those things well enough. But, the baby hunger thing - that's a different story. I have always loved babies and even though I know babies don't stay babies forever, I really couldn't see myself ever NOT wanting a baby. I mean, I knew I would be done having babies at some point, I just figured I would always still kind of want one when I saw one - or something kind of like that anyway. I thought I would find a point that I was satisfied with what I had, but would still kind of have this hunger deep down for another baby until I had grandbabies to spoil. When friends would talk about knowing they were done having kids, that their families were complete and that their baby-hunger was gone - I really couldn't see what they meant.
I am kind of starting to get it now though. I think I am half-way in between baby-hunger and being-done. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can see the possibilities of a life without diapers and carrying kids around on my hip and baby-talk and melt-downs. It could be pretty cool. It's getting harder and harder to think about sleepless nights and spit-up as charming bumps to pedal over and easier to consider finally getting rid of the piles of baby clothes and baby gear that are filling up my storage spaces or how nice it would be to not have car seats in my car. Over the holidays, I have loved holding my new baby-relatives, kissing their cheeks, smelling their hair and cuddling with them. I have also loved handing them back to their parents when they were smelly or fussy or when I just wanted a break. When I was falling into bed at 5 a.m. on New Year's morning, I was so happy that it wasn't my 5-month-old that was waking up and crying for a bottle and that I could just go to sleep.
It's pretty awesome that my kids can walk through a store on their own and pick up their toys when they are asked. It's nice that they can talk to me and tell me what's bothering them or what they are thinking about. I like that when my children wake up, they find their way to the bathroom on their own and want to chill out for a while before they eat breakfast instead of me having to change a diaper and make a bottle first thing in the morning. It's cool that they like to play on their own and are figuring out how to do so much more by themselves. They can dress themselves and help put their clothes away and get most things out of the refrigerator on their own. I am kind of digging it.
I'm not there yet. I still want another baby if I get the chance, but I am starting to see that I will have peace if that doesn't happen. And maybe this week is God's way of helping me have that peace. Maybe I am done and I just don't know it yet, but I am finding my way to whatever path He has marked out for me. I have a list of projects I want to start that stretches miles and I can see that having another baby would put a lot of that on hold. It would put me in rewind again. Not that this is a bad thing - I could do with one more rewind. But, I think if it does happen just one more time, I will be done. I'll know it. There won't be any question. And I think that's the first step in knowing the peace and the certainty of being 'done'.
And in the mean time - what will today bring? Tyler's off at school again, so will my little preschoolers remember the strides they made in gaining some more independence over the last two weeks? Or will they revert to asking me for every little thing they can think of? Only time will tell, and thankfully they are still sleeping. Another joy of having big boys - or almost big boys - is having late sleepers! They are still little, and I'll take that as long as I have it, but I sure am looking forward now to the real joy of having 'big' boys.
Thanks and God Bless!
In some ways I was really ready for Tyler to go back to school so that we could get back into our schedule here. Sleeping until 9 and then lounging in our pajamas until noon or after hasn't really helped me get going on the myriad of projects on my to-do list. He riles the kids up and gets them into things they would never ask me for during a normal day, including extra snacks. And watching him lay around playing video games while I try to find the energy to switch laundry around and clean bathrooms just makes me crazy. He helps when I ask him to, but mostly he just wants to enjoy his time off. I don't blame him, but it isn't making my job any easier.
On the other hand, I really love having Tyler home with me. He's old enough to have a really fun conversation with and it's nice to not just be surrounded by preschooler babble all day. He plays with the little ones quite a bit and keeps them occupied. When Tyler is on hand to help with getting toys off of high shelves, push play on a movie, help Scooter with a video game, open a cheese stick package, lay on the floor and help Riley get a puzzle started or put a broken toy back together my life is a whole lot easier and less chaotic. It's really nice to have an extra set of hands around so that I am not running for the little ones non-stop.
The best part about Tyler being home with the younger kids though, is that they stop acting so young. Scooter and Riley adore their older brother and they, of course, want to do just about everything he does. It isn't always possible, certainly, but that doesn't mean they won't try. It's amazing to me how much less they need me during the day when Tyler is around. Yes, he's a big help, but they also ask for considerably less attention all the way around when their big brother is there. Even when Tyler takes a break and loses himself in a book, ignoring everyone and everything around him, Scooter and Riley tend to fend for themselves more than when he's absent.
After shuffling home on New Year's Day sometime in the early afternoon (we spent the night at Scott's mom's with all his relatives - I struggled to stay awake until midnight then got a second wind and made it through a full game of Mexican train which kept us all up until 5 a.m.), Scott trudged outside to begin putting together the trampoline. He finished the base work before dark and then Sunday morning the two of us tackled the safety net installation for a few hours before it was finally ready to be jumped on. This trampoline might be the best investment ever. The kids love the thing and don't seem to need my constant attention to use it. Score!
I am so accustomed to Scooter begging me to be outside with the boys while they play, it's kind of strange to me that they will literally spend hours out on that trampoline without asking me for anything. It began on Sunday with just the little ones. We wouldn't hear from them for a half hour or 45 minutes at a time while they played. (Um, yes, I was checking on them every ten minutes or so through the window or by stepping outside.) With Tyler back home for the last 2 days, the uninterrupted jumping/playing episodes stretched to almost 2 hours at a time. Occasionally one or more of the kids would come inside for a drink, a snack, or one more toy to play with on the beast, but for the most part they were completely occupied. They alternated between putting every ball they could find on the thing while they jumped, jumping with pillow pets as extra cushion and fighting with light sabers while they 'forced' eachother so that they fell on the bouncy surface. I'm telling you - best money ever spent.
Anyway, trampoline aside, I am really kind of getting into this having 'big' boys thing. When Tyler was becoming a truly 'big' boy, I was busy planning a wedding and having another baby. I have loved watching him grow and become more independent, but I was so occupied with the 2 little ones that were dependent on me for everything I don't think I truly appreciated what was happening. Now, though, with the younger two starting to grow out of babyhood and 'little' boy-ness, I am kind of digging the advantages. It's pretty cool to not be needed for every single thing, every single minute of the day.
A few months ago, if you had asked me, I would have told you that I don't 'get' being done having children. Not that I don't understand having a limit or letting your body rest or deciding you don't have enough room, money or sanity for another kid. I understand those things well enough. But, the baby hunger thing - that's a different story. I have always loved babies and even though I know babies don't stay babies forever, I really couldn't see myself ever NOT wanting a baby. I mean, I knew I would be done having babies at some point, I just figured I would always still kind of want one when I saw one - or something kind of like that anyway. I thought I would find a point that I was satisfied with what I had, but would still kind of have this hunger deep down for another baby until I had grandbabies to spoil. When friends would talk about knowing they were done having kids, that their families were complete and that their baby-hunger was gone - I really couldn't see what they meant.
I am kind of starting to get it now though. I think I am half-way in between baby-hunger and being-done. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can see the possibilities of a life without diapers and carrying kids around on my hip and baby-talk and melt-downs. It could be pretty cool. It's getting harder and harder to think about sleepless nights and spit-up as charming bumps to pedal over and easier to consider finally getting rid of the piles of baby clothes and baby gear that are filling up my storage spaces or how nice it would be to not have car seats in my car. Over the holidays, I have loved holding my new baby-relatives, kissing their cheeks, smelling their hair and cuddling with them. I have also loved handing them back to their parents when they were smelly or fussy or when I just wanted a break. When I was falling into bed at 5 a.m. on New Year's morning, I was so happy that it wasn't my 5-month-old that was waking up and crying for a bottle and that I could just go to sleep.
It's pretty awesome that my kids can walk through a store on their own and pick up their toys when they are asked. It's nice that they can talk to me and tell me what's bothering them or what they are thinking about. I like that when my children wake up, they find their way to the bathroom on their own and want to chill out for a while before they eat breakfast instead of me having to change a diaper and make a bottle first thing in the morning. It's cool that they like to play on their own and are figuring out how to do so much more by themselves. They can dress themselves and help put their clothes away and get most things out of the refrigerator on their own. I am kind of digging it.
I'm not there yet. I still want another baby if I get the chance, but I am starting to see that I will have peace if that doesn't happen. And maybe this week is God's way of helping me have that peace. Maybe I am done and I just don't know it yet, but I am finding my way to whatever path He has marked out for me. I have a list of projects I want to start that stretches miles and I can see that having another baby would put a lot of that on hold. It would put me in rewind again. Not that this is a bad thing - I could do with one more rewind. But, I think if it does happen just one more time, I will be done. I'll know it. There won't be any question. And I think that's the first step in knowing the peace and the certainty of being 'done'.
And in the mean time - what will today bring? Tyler's off at school again, so will my little preschoolers remember the strides they made in gaining some more independence over the last two weeks? Or will they revert to asking me for every little thing they can think of? Only time will tell, and thankfully they are still sleeping. Another joy of having big boys - or almost big boys - is having late sleepers! They are still little, and I'll take that as long as I have it, but I sure am looking forward now to the real joy of having 'big' boys.
Thanks and God Bless!
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