I would estimate that 1 of 8 houses in my neighborhood have some kind of Halloween decoration adorning their yard or house. Every time Scooter notices another one, or any house in any neighborhood that we happen to be, he makes a comment like 'See, Mom, everyone is ready for Halloween, we need to decorate our house too.' When we rolled in from Austin on Sunday night after dark and could really tell who had done some prep work his voice turned kind of sad 'Mom, now EVERYONE else has Halloween decorations and we don't.'
The two younger boys are also hounding me daily for their costumes. I haven't bought them yet for several reasons, most of them revolving around the fact that they will change their minds another 10 times about what they want to be between now and the actual day. They also can't wait to wear them around the house to play which is against the rules until they have worn them for trick or treat. Afterwards, I know they will get all my money's worth out of the things until they are shredded and hanging off their little bodies while they play. That's when I sneak the decrepit costumes into the trash when no one is looking. I am trying to limit the number of times I have to say 'No, not until after Halloween' though.
I told Tyler this week that if he wants to trick or treat this year and next it's fine, but I am probably going to make a rule that age 12 is the max. I get annoyed with teenagers who don't even dress up properly coming to the door to beg for candy so I don't want my kids doing it. He knows he probably won't want to participate after that anyway, but speaking from experience, I know that even well behaved, almost prudish, teenagers can sometimes get a wild hair up their butt and think that running through the neighborhood to compete for candy with preschoolers sounds like a good idea. The good news is he seems to have lost the desire to dress up as a character or hero and doesn't need me to order some costume that will hang in his closet all year needling me. Instead, we are coming up with fun, DIY costumes that will be more on the funny or ironic side. Luckily, he isn't choosing anything that I have to sew so the crafts are staying within my completely achievable realm.
The little boys didn't really like my idea of ditching super hero costumes in favor of being a family of m&m's in a rainbow of colors. Well, Scooter said he liked the idea, but only to get to the party and show everyone, then he would still want to change and be a Red Power Ranger Samurai after people saw it. Right, cuz one costume idea per child isn't enough. He kind of wants to trick or treat, because he wants candy, but he wants me to do it for him. You know, hold the bucket, say the words, say the thank you. Shy guy. Riley didn't like my idea at all, even when I offered to switch it up to a family of Angry Birds (his favorite game) because he doesn't actually want to go to a party or trick or treat, he just wants a Batman costume. Because he wants one. His birthday is the next day - I could have gotten him one for a present, but he doesn't want to participate in anything else. Okaaaaaay.
This is probably a little bit my fault. I drag my feet for Halloween, especially since I had Riley. I like the holiday, I like the costumes, I even like to dress up on occasion. But, I put off getting ready for it more every year. Halloween is the kick off of the holiday season for me. As hectic as my life can be any other day of the year, once Halloween comes everything moves into even higher gear. Riley has a birthday the next day and I have to squeeze in a party while I am trying to get ready for Thanksgiving, figure out who is getting what for Christmas and how much I am going to spend, shop for multiple ingredients for various yummies and then fit everyone's everything in before the end of the year. Not to mention the actual baking and figuring out when Tyler will be with what family and the transport for all of that. I literally won't stop until January 1st. And seriously - we already have 4 different Christmas parties/events on our calendar for December. It's still October!
When we traveled to Austin for Jocelyn's first birthday this weekend, I left a fairly clean house with no dirty laundry lingering. There were a few bankers boxes stacked in a corner that held jeans and warm shirts for little boys since there was a cold front brewing. Now, my house looks like a tornado hit it. Those few boxes have multiplied to about 15. Each holds or held warm clothes for 5 family members that have to be washed, folded and put somewhere. I got a good start on it all, but since we still have fairly warm days as well - I don't have anywhere to put the stuff! My coffee table and fireplace are stacked with winter clothes while dressers and closets are still packed full of spring/summer/fall clothes (since it's basically one season here). The daunting task of switching, sorting and organizing is on the top of my to-do list.
I actually sat down last night and wrote out the list. Most of the time I keep an ongoing list in my head, mentally crossing things off, reorganizing and reprioritizing as needed. Sometimes, it's just too much and I need to see it in front of me, even if just for a second so I can get some perspective. The list took an entire page of my notebook and it was just things that needed to be done before Tuesday next week. Topping the list are the Evite for Riley's birthday party (which I am trying to keep small and simple), taking care of all the clothes and filing away the four tall stacks of papers and stuff that were lumped together little by little so I could deal with them later. It's later. The list is rounded out with cleaning the house . . . again.
I am working 3 days next week for another conference. The hours on this job are so long that they have offered me a room at the hotel where the conference is being held. At first I didn't think I would use it, but the alternative is coming home after kids are already in bed and getting up at 4:30 for 2 mornings to be back in time, well before the munchkins will be up for school. I am sure it would be worthwhile to kiss their sleeping heads, at least for me, but they wouldn't know I was there. I will be gone from my house for almost 3 full days. I won't come home to as clean of a house as I will leave, but if it starts cleaner it won't be quite as bad when I get back. I think. That's the plan anyway.
When I was compiling my list of the last wave of numbered boxes for Scott to pull for me last night, I noticed on my spreadsheet that I had 3 boxes listed for Halloween. I was pretty sure that was just the pumpkin buckets (that I didn't even have pulled last year - we used plastic bags for the first and last time), but since there were 3 of them I added them to my honey-do list. When I opened them up I found 5 different pumpkin candy buckets (don't ask) and then, you won't believe it . . DECORATIONS!
I called Scooter over and had him peek inside the boxes, he was so excited. There wasn't much, but I had a few things that I had accumulated back when Tyler was in this same stage, thinking we should decorate for every single holiday. Two fake jack o' lanterns with light bulbs inside now sit on shelves in my living room. There's a fall themed 'Welcome' sign hanging on the outside of my front door and a Halloween type felt banner hanging inside the door. And in the boys room is a plastic pumpkin with lights sitting inside their window. I carried Scooter outside to see how it looked - his smile was sooooo worth all the chaos we are about to find ourselves in.
I can't stop the holidays from descending, and I wouldn't really want to either. They are crazy because I make them that way. I love the season so much and want my kids to experience everything so I welcome the crazy in with open arms every single year. It doesn't matter if we have been watching baseball non-stop for the past few weeks. It doesn't matter that we had a case of Strep Throat invade our home this month. It doesn't even matter that I am taking on more responsibilities right now in some other areas of my life. It's coming again and this year will be just as crazy as it always is, even while I am trying to slow it all down.
So, this was the one time I am going to allow myself to complain to you about how crazy it's going to be. Not saying I won't tell you about the crazy, just that I am going to do my darndest to not complain about it. Because I know I could change it, but I don't want to. I want my kids to have traditions to build on, even if it makes our lives hectic. And on top of it all, I will be striving to bring even more of the real message of the Holidays into their little hearts than they soaked up last year.
I hope you are all enjoying our cooler weather and are getting ready for Halloween in your favorite fashion. I also hope that you have just the amount of crazy for your holidays that you ask for and can handle. I am just hoping I know when to say no this year and that I can keep a handle on everything I have committed to! I am going to try and stay focused on enjoying where each child is right now and how they observe and celebrate in their own ways. And maybe, one year, we'll get to be a family of m&m's for Halloween before they are too old to think it's fun.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
The Mom I am Learning to Be . . .
Wow, I am so glad I am not the kind of person who sets New Year Resolutions like 'I will blog at least twice per week'. I know people who have done that and it worked, but if I had made such a bold pronouncement I would be failing miserably in fulfilling the promise to myself. What I am trying to do is put more into the posts I do have time for and I have to say I really liked my last post. It's the kind of thing I envisioned when I started blogging and I rarely deliver. Hah! Anyway, I was very self-satisfied with my last post about the things I learned from my kids. Pretty good stuff, right? Except that I was so PROUD, I didn't follow up which kind of defeats the purpose. Sin of Pride, Pride cometh before the fall . . . yadda, yadda, yadda. Anyway, that post actually materialized out of nowhere, but it got me thinking a lot more about what I learn from my children. And at the end of the day, that's what blogging does for me. It helps me record where my children are and then reflect on how I parent and where I can make improvements. I want it to be a love letter to my children that they can read someday and see where I was coming from as I raised them with all my faults laid bare. Or - it'll be great fodder for their therapy sessions. We'll see.
You have heard, like me, that every child has a different set of parents, even if they are raised in the same house. I find this to be true in my life, no matter how fair or consistent I try to be in my parenting style. It doesn't matter what I do, Scooter gets a more relaxed me than Tyler had at the same age and Riley is allowed to do more at an earlier age because he is following his two older brothers. Also, even though our basic ideals and values never change, our vision and plan changes all the time. We know the kind of men we want to see in front of us in 15 years, but the plan to get there changes as our lives change and also as we see what does and does not work. So, we are individual to each child because of their birth order and our life focus and our circumstances and because we learn from our mistakes along the way and try to improve.
The factor that doesn't get as much play when people talk about this stuff is the kids themselves. Our kids have very different personalities from each other. Even though there are common threads that run through our family and similarities between brother and brother or mother and son, each one is unique. Each child is special in their own way. And what I am starting to realize is that the type of mom I am over all and individually to my children has formed in some ways in response to the personalities in my home. My core values don't change, but the way I implement the teaching of them shifts with the emerging individuals that I live with every day.
It's very easy to fall into the 'I would' or 'I wouldn't' trap when we see how others are parenting their children around us. It's also easy for us to look at other people's kids and wish that ours emulated a certain behavior. For example, I have often thought I was doing something wrong as a mom because I would see other kids greeting adults and talking freely to them and I couldn't get mine to do the same and I would WISH that they would or that I could figure out how to get them to do something like that. It's much more difficult to remember that you are not parenting that child over there. That child might respond differently than your munchkin to the same things you are doing at home. And that mom is looking at you and your kids and wishing that their child would do something you have accomplished without even thinking about it. It turns out Tyler and Scooter are just shy kids. Tyler has worked very hard to overcome his bashfulness and will greet people appropriately now, but he is still quiet about it and embarrasses easily. I have either gotten way better at this or Riley is just the most outgoing of my children - he will hug someone he just met with prompting from me when it's time to leave. I'm going to give the credit to Riley, he's just not shy.
What kind of parent has your child or your children made you? I've been mulling this over for a couple of weeks and I decided to try and think about what the big things are that my kids are teaching me about being a mom.
TYLER - Somehow, I have this kid fooled into thinking I am the bomb. He thinks I am the best at everything. I didn't consciously try and teach him this, it just sorta kinda happened. I don't know if it's a birth order thing or if it's just his personality, but Tyler expects the best of himself and everyone around him, even while being the most forgiving person of falling short of perfection. Forgiving of everyone, but me and himself that is. He's very hard on himself, despairing of his faults and shortcomings and sometimes hard to encourage because of his own high ideals. And the highest ideals he holds are for both who he wants to be and who he thinks I already am. Tyler just assumes that I am good, great or better than the rest. So, when I am not (which is pretty much daily), I disappoint him. Wow, I hate to disappoint him. I don't mean disappoint in the 'No, you can't have that candy before dinner' way, but in the 'Well, I know that I am teaching you to be honest and I try to be as honest as I can, but at the same time I found it necessary to tell this little white lie so I didn't hurt someone's feelings' way. The look on that kids face when he realizes that I am not perfect is just so very, very sad. I hate it! I don't want to see that face because of something I have done or said. I find with Tyler, honesty and respect go a very long way. He might be disappointed in me when I don't live up to his expectations, but when I take the time to admit to him I am wrong he is always ready to listen. I find myself explaining my actions, admitting my faults and talking about ways I am trying to be better way more than I ever thought I would as a parent. I am definitely not able to be a 'Do as I say, not as I do' parent with Tyler. He is watching too closely and he harbors almost impossible ideals for me as a mom. There are still a lot of times that I have to put my foot down and tell him to butt out (so to speak) or that I will explain something better when he's older and wiser. But for the most part . . .
Tyler makes me want to be a better person. He has ideals for me that I could never live up to, but make me raise the expectations I have for myself. He assumes that I will be perfect until I mess up which makes me want to strive for perfection more. He is not afraid to show me when he is disappointed in me which makes me want to both be better and be more willing to admit my failings. Tyler helps me to be a more honest parent, more communicative and more compassionate. He helps me realize how much grace there is in my life and teaches me to extend that grace to my children.
SCOOTER - I often have to remind myself to 'let Scooter be Scooter' and sometimes I have to remind others to do that too. I always found Tyler to be sensitive, shy, and gentle, but Scooter is even more sensitive, painfully shy and the gentlest of souls. He's my 'warm-up' kid and that is true in every, single facet of his life. Once he is finally ready for something, he will usually go all out, but he has to get there first. I kind of like to go full force and full speed on just about everything I tackle, but Scooter doesn't work that way. Everything takes longer with my little scooter-rooter-pooter. Tyler would and does often expect a detailed explanation of things so that he can grasp it logically, but I find myself spending even more time with Scooter helping him to understand things on an emotional level. He needs to take his time, forcing me to slow down. I admit that there are times the painful slowness of it all makes me want to cry in frustration, however . . .
Scooter makes me a more patient and understanding person. It's not a bad thing to slow down and take things one teensy weensy step at a time. It can be helpful to talk through the way things make you feel and why you like or don't like them. Scooter just can't function when things feel too far out of his control or are moving too fast for him to get a handle on. He is going to shut down if I don't take the time to prep him, let him adjust and be ready for what is coming. I cultivate patience every, single day being a mom to Scooter. Patience is something that I have never had in copious supply and will probably never have enough of, but I am working on it. Raising Scooter helps me be more patient with all of my kids and also helps me to develop more empathy. Trying to understand what makes him tick and how he is feeling helps me break things down with the other kids and in my relationships with my husband and family as well. Learning more understanding and patience through Scooter helps me be a better mom, daughter, sister and friend.
RILEY - This kid is going to give me more grey hairs than the other two combined. However, he's probably going to give me more laugh lines too. I've been joking lately that with his 4th birthday only a few weeks away, I won't be able to blame his behavior on being 3 anymore, we'll have to face it all head on. Challenging - that's Riley. He's got a stubborn streak a mile wide, he will hold a grudge for hours, days, weeks or months if it suits him. He doesn't forget a fault. He can be the most helpful, sweet and endearing child one minute and then the next put his foot down and refuse to do the most simple task, like throw a wrapper away. But Riley can put the absolute biggest smile on your face if you let him. He can be compliant and funny and loving. He is the biggest kisser/hugger/cuddler I have and he loves to tell a story. He'll explain everything that happened somewhere in excruciating detail, multiple times and he doesn't care if someone else is trying to talk at the same time or if he told it 50 times before. (Okay, I am dying here and you are laughing too if you knew my late father-in-law! Cut from the same cloth! How many times did YOU hear the 7-11 story?) He is extremely determined, insisting on trying something on his own over and over and over again until he gets it right. I've always been a fairly flexible parent, providing boundaries and letting them move as needed. Maybe you would call me lax or lazy, but it works for my two older kids. When I put my foot down and mean something, they get it - they know I mean business. They also know where the give is and where they have room to negotiate. Riley, not so much. Give Riley an inch and he'll take a mile. It's enough to make me crazy, but . . .
Riley teaches me to be more consistent and firm. Ooohhhh, all that patience I am learning from Scooter is going to come in handy with Riley, that's for sure. I am starting to get that with Riley the boundaries I set have to be a whole lot firmer. He is going to have to know where I stand at all times. And he's also forcing Scott and I to get on the same page a lot more. The flexible thing has worked well for us because we had some pretty hard and fast rules for the basics, but the rest was all movable based on circumstance. Not so much with this munchkin. We find ourselves communicating more about where the line has to be and what the consequences are for crossing it. Consistency is something we will all benefit from, but it sure isn't fun. It's harder for Scott and I to be consistent in everything we say and do, but it will provide a more solid foundation for all of our kids. We know we have to give Riley room to breathe, but we also know if we aren't careful he'll walk all over us when we are too flexible. All this consistency in rules and behavior bleeds over to the rest of our lives and helps us keep a better schedule, be more fair to all the kids and teach them to have higher standards of behavior (even at home when no one is looking). Over all, learning consistency will help me be more patient, understanding, firm and a better person all around.
Isn't the continuity beautiful? God doesn't make mistakes. He gave me my kids for a reason and he gave me as a mother to these souls for a reason too. The lessons are mostly hard for me to learn, but the benefits are amazing. I am a work in progress, which helps me to remember that my kids are too. God grants me grace, which helps me grant it to my children. I learn something new every day, and I get to learn it by spending time with these three amazing boys. How awesome.
Fast forward a couple dozen years and I can almost see my kids reaction to this post. Tyler will remember the teenage years he barreled through (that we haven't touched yet) and won't remember thinking I am this awesome when he was a kid. He'll wonder what crazy pill I took today, but as an adult he'll have figured out I wasn't that bad. Scooter will have worked through all his insecurities and shyness and like his dad won't remember ever having been so cautious or quiet. Riley might laugh and remember all the hell he put me through and then give me yet another hug and kiss and cuddle. At least, that's how I think it might go, or hope it does anyway.
Thanks and God Bless!
You have heard, like me, that every child has a different set of parents, even if they are raised in the same house. I find this to be true in my life, no matter how fair or consistent I try to be in my parenting style. It doesn't matter what I do, Scooter gets a more relaxed me than Tyler had at the same age and Riley is allowed to do more at an earlier age because he is following his two older brothers. Also, even though our basic ideals and values never change, our vision and plan changes all the time. We know the kind of men we want to see in front of us in 15 years, but the plan to get there changes as our lives change and also as we see what does and does not work. So, we are individual to each child because of their birth order and our life focus and our circumstances and because we learn from our mistakes along the way and try to improve.
The factor that doesn't get as much play when people talk about this stuff is the kids themselves. Our kids have very different personalities from each other. Even though there are common threads that run through our family and similarities between brother and brother or mother and son, each one is unique. Each child is special in their own way. And what I am starting to realize is that the type of mom I am over all and individually to my children has formed in some ways in response to the personalities in my home. My core values don't change, but the way I implement the teaching of them shifts with the emerging individuals that I live with every day.
It's very easy to fall into the 'I would' or 'I wouldn't' trap when we see how others are parenting their children around us. It's also easy for us to look at other people's kids and wish that ours emulated a certain behavior. For example, I have often thought I was doing something wrong as a mom because I would see other kids greeting adults and talking freely to them and I couldn't get mine to do the same and I would WISH that they would or that I could figure out how to get them to do something like that. It's much more difficult to remember that you are not parenting that child over there. That child might respond differently than your munchkin to the same things you are doing at home. And that mom is looking at you and your kids and wishing that their child would do something you have accomplished without even thinking about it. It turns out Tyler and Scooter are just shy kids. Tyler has worked very hard to overcome his bashfulness and will greet people appropriately now, but he is still quiet about it and embarrasses easily. I have either gotten way better at this or Riley is just the most outgoing of my children - he will hug someone he just met with prompting from me when it's time to leave. I'm going to give the credit to Riley, he's just not shy.
What kind of parent has your child or your children made you? I've been mulling this over for a couple of weeks and I decided to try and think about what the big things are that my kids are teaching me about being a mom.
TYLER - Somehow, I have this kid fooled into thinking I am the bomb. He thinks I am the best at everything. I didn't consciously try and teach him this, it just sorta kinda happened. I don't know if it's a birth order thing or if it's just his personality, but Tyler expects the best of himself and everyone around him, even while being the most forgiving person of falling short of perfection. Forgiving of everyone, but me and himself that is. He's very hard on himself, despairing of his faults and shortcomings and sometimes hard to encourage because of his own high ideals. And the highest ideals he holds are for both who he wants to be and who he thinks I already am. Tyler just assumes that I am good, great or better than the rest. So, when I am not (which is pretty much daily), I disappoint him. Wow, I hate to disappoint him. I don't mean disappoint in the 'No, you can't have that candy before dinner' way, but in the 'Well, I know that I am teaching you to be honest and I try to be as honest as I can, but at the same time I found it necessary to tell this little white lie so I didn't hurt someone's feelings' way. The look on that kids face when he realizes that I am not perfect is just so very, very sad. I hate it! I don't want to see that face because of something I have done or said. I find with Tyler, honesty and respect go a very long way. He might be disappointed in me when I don't live up to his expectations, but when I take the time to admit to him I am wrong he is always ready to listen. I find myself explaining my actions, admitting my faults and talking about ways I am trying to be better way more than I ever thought I would as a parent. I am definitely not able to be a 'Do as I say, not as I do' parent with Tyler. He is watching too closely and he harbors almost impossible ideals for me as a mom. There are still a lot of times that I have to put my foot down and tell him to butt out (so to speak) or that I will explain something better when he's older and wiser. But for the most part . . .
Tyler makes me want to be a better person. He has ideals for me that I could never live up to, but make me raise the expectations I have for myself. He assumes that I will be perfect until I mess up which makes me want to strive for perfection more. He is not afraid to show me when he is disappointed in me which makes me want to both be better and be more willing to admit my failings. Tyler helps me to be a more honest parent, more communicative and more compassionate. He helps me realize how much grace there is in my life and teaches me to extend that grace to my children.
SCOOTER - I often have to remind myself to 'let Scooter be Scooter' and sometimes I have to remind others to do that too. I always found Tyler to be sensitive, shy, and gentle, but Scooter is even more sensitive, painfully shy and the gentlest of souls. He's my 'warm-up' kid and that is true in every, single facet of his life. Once he is finally ready for something, he will usually go all out, but he has to get there first. I kind of like to go full force and full speed on just about everything I tackle, but Scooter doesn't work that way. Everything takes longer with my little scooter-rooter-pooter. Tyler would and does often expect a detailed explanation of things so that he can grasp it logically, but I find myself spending even more time with Scooter helping him to understand things on an emotional level. He needs to take his time, forcing me to slow down. I admit that there are times the painful slowness of it all makes me want to cry in frustration, however . . .
Scooter makes me a more patient and understanding person. It's not a bad thing to slow down and take things one teensy weensy step at a time. It can be helpful to talk through the way things make you feel and why you like or don't like them. Scooter just can't function when things feel too far out of his control or are moving too fast for him to get a handle on. He is going to shut down if I don't take the time to prep him, let him adjust and be ready for what is coming. I cultivate patience every, single day being a mom to Scooter. Patience is something that I have never had in copious supply and will probably never have enough of, but I am working on it. Raising Scooter helps me be more patient with all of my kids and also helps me to develop more empathy. Trying to understand what makes him tick and how he is feeling helps me break things down with the other kids and in my relationships with my husband and family as well. Learning more understanding and patience through Scooter helps me be a better mom, daughter, sister and friend.
RILEY - This kid is going to give me more grey hairs than the other two combined. However, he's probably going to give me more laugh lines too. I've been joking lately that with his 4th birthday only a few weeks away, I won't be able to blame his behavior on being 3 anymore, we'll have to face it all head on. Challenging - that's Riley. He's got a stubborn streak a mile wide, he will hold a grudge for hours, days, weeks or months if it suits him. He doesn't forget a fault. He can be the most helpful, sweet and endearing child one minute and then the next put his foot down and refuse to do the most simple task, like throw a wrapper away. But Riley can put the absolute biggest smile on your face if you let him. He can be compliant and funny and loving. He is the biggest kisser/hugger/cuddler I have and he loves to tell a story. He'll explain everything that happened somewhere in excruciating detail, multiple times and he doesn't care if someone else is trying to talk at the same time or if he told it 50 times before. (Okay, I am dying here and you are laughing too if you knew my late father-in-law! Cut from the same cloth! How many times did YOU hear the 7-11 story?) He is extremely determined, insisting on trying something on his own over and over and over again until he gets it right. I've always been a fairly flexible parent, providing boundaries and letting them move as needed. Maybe you would call me lax or lazy, but it works for my two older kids. When I put my foot down and mean something, they get it - they know I mean business. They also know where the give is and where they have room to negotiate. Riley, not so much. Give Riley an inch and he'll take a mile. It's enough to make me crazy, but . . .
Riley teaches me to be more consistent and firm. Ooohhhh, all that patience I am learning from Scooter is going to come in handy with Riley, that's for sure. I am starting to get that with Riley the boundaries I set have to be a whole lot firmer. He is going to have to know where I stand at all times. And he's also forcing Scott and I to get on the same page a lot more. The flexible thing has worked well for us because we had some pretty hard and fast rules for the basics, but the rest was all movable based on circumstance. Not so much with this munchkin. We find ourselves communicating more about where the line has to be and what the consequences are for crossing it. Consistency is something we will all benefit from, but it sure isn't fun. It's harder for Scott and I to be consistent in everything we say and do, but it will provide a more solid foundation for all of our kids. We know we have to give Riley room to breathe, but we also know if we aren't careful he'll walk all over us when we are too flexible. All this consistency in rules and behavior bleeds over to the rest of our lives and helps us keep a better schedule, be more fair to all the kids and teach them to have higher standards of behavior (even at home when no one is looking). Over all, learning consistency will help me be more patient, understanding, firm and a better person all around.
Isn't the continuity beautiful? God doesn't make mistakes. He gave me my kids for a reason and he gave me as a mother to these souls for a reason too. The lessons are mostly hard for me to learn, but the benefits are amazing. I am a work in progress, which helps me to remember that my kids are too. God grants me grace, which helps me grant it to my children. I learn something new every day, and I get to learn it by spending time with these three amazing boys. How awesome.
Fast forward a couple dozen years and I can almost see my kids reaction to this post. Tyler will remember the teenage years he barreled through (that we haven't touched yet) and won't remember thinking I am this awesome when he was a kid. He'll wonder what crazy pill I took today, but as an adult he'll have figured out I wasn't that bad. Scooter will have worked through all his insecurities and shyness and like his dad won't remember ever having been so cautious or quiet. Riley might laugh and remember all the hell he put me through and then give me yet another hug and kiss and cuddle. At least, that's how I think it might go, or hope it does anyway.
Thanks and God Bless!
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