Thanksgiving is over. Again. Here we go again. Again. Even before we paused to give thanks with our family, Riley was running around the house practicing the songs he will sing in the Pre-K Christmas performance next month. The invites for our annual Christmas cookie party were in email boxes before we had fully outlined who was bringing what to whose house last Thursday for our November feast. I barely paused long enough to inhale a second helping of green bean casserole and cornbread stuffing while I hashed through my black friday shopping plan with my relatives. I've told you before how I am not a huge Thanksgiving fan since I try to be grateful every day, and how much I love Christmas. Not a surprise. I am ready to go people. It's my favorite time of the year.
And yet . . . here we go again. The kids watched Elf and Home Alone this weekend which was great fun. We all had a bunch of great laughs. I do have a 5 and 6 year old though - so now the questions are coming at me full blast. You know 'How does Santa . . .?' and 'Why does Santa . . .?'
It is truly amazing to me how if I was standing in front of you today and trying to tell you a bold faced lie I could not do it. I mean, I totally suck at lying. It's not my thing. I'm really bad at it, I have terrible tells like stuttering and rapid eye blinking and shaking hands. Not to mention the fact that I just don't like it. However, when it comes to Santa and my kids the lies just pour out of my mouth in waves. I don't even stop to think about it - the crap I come up with in order to keep the dream alive is truly remarkable!
I am almost (in)famous for some of the tales I have woven in order to keep my kids believing as long as possible. In all fairness, I might not have gone to such lengths if my kids were closer in age. But part of me wanted Tyler to hold on to his belief in magic long enough to share it with his younger brothers who were 6 and 7 years his junior. I also grew up in a house where Christmas was a big deal, Santa was super duper magical and if you ask my dad today, his only reply will be a gruff 'We believe in Santa!' grumble and that's that, people. I have passed it all right down the line, even down to telling Tyler when he was let in on the secret 'As long as your brothers believe, Santa will still come' just like my parents did. Tyler is even more zealous about protecting his brothers Santa-vision than I am.
I've done my best over the years to intertwine my favorite parts of the secular portions of Christmas with our spiritual beliefs. It's not too hard to explain that we give gifts to each other because God gave us the most precious of all gifts, Jesus. Why we have stockings? - that's a little tougher. I'm great at covering the secret-revealing scenes in movies that my kids are watching or coming up with stories about Santa's helpers in malls and elves spying on children to see if they are behaving. Seriously, people, I could write a book on how to keep the magic alive.
But . . . oh the tangled web we weave . . . right? This morning as I drove little Riley to school he started asking more questions about what Santa could see or hear him doing. I know I said something like 'Well, he's not God, he can't see everything all the time, he just checks in once in a while'. A short time later he asked me why Santa didn't want to give kids on the naughty list presents. I started explaining about rewards for good behavior and treating each other with respect and listening to mommy and daddy, etc. And then, Lord help me, this is what actually came out of my mouth: 'Santa just wants to give presents to children who deserve them.'
There are so many things wrong with that statement that I immediately started throwing up a little bit in my mouth. And yet, that is what we are singing when we say 'you better watch out', what we are teaching when we buy and read 'the elf on the shelf' and all the other stuff that goes with it. Never mind that there are deserving children all over the world who would be grateful for a meal on Christmas Day, much less a doll or a truck. For all the good we do during the season, giving to others and sharing our love; For all the work I put into making sure my kids understand the real reason for the season; For all the joy that comes from giving and praising and knowing - it can all be undone with one careless comment spewing forth from my poisonous tongue (James 2:8) without thought.
Of course, I backtracked. I started telling Riley that his dad and I give him gifts at Christmas regardless of his behavior because we love him and because there is nothing he can do to earn our love just like there is nothing he can do to lose it. Just like God. Just like Jesus. He is the gift to the world that none of us ever deserved or could ever have earned. That is why we give gifts on Christmas.
I often think that if I was starting this parenting journey over now, I would do some things differently. Like no sugar anywhere in my house ever and maybe no tv's, right? One thing I would do differently is Christmas. I sometimes think I would have done three gifts for each child because the wise men brought three gifts. Or less gifts, anyway, than the crazy that happens around here. I wonder if I could do Christmas without Santa like some of my friends do and I am honestly not sure that I could.
I do think I would change things up though. Santa would play a much smaller role, maybe fill the stockings and bring one gift while Scott and I did the rest. I certainly wouldn't try so hard to keep the magic alive of Santa and put more effort into the glorious generosity of the true gift, our Savior. And I often think that I can't go back now. Not with a 5 year old - it would ruin everything!!!! It's like a deep dark hole we dug for ourselves. But maybe we can backtrack a little and ease our way out by the time they figure everything out on their own.
We do our best around here, most of the time. Tonight we begin our 2nd year of the Jesse Tree Advent and I am so excited about it, especially since even I understand it better this year than I did before, having gone all the way through it once. "But a shoot shall sprout from the stump of Jesse, and from his roots a bud shall blossom" Isaiah 11:1. It's the story of how God had a plan, from the very beginning. It's a tale of understanding that no man is big enough to mess up God's plan and that He can use anyone in any way to see it through. From creation to Christ's birth, the Victory is God's.
I love Santa. I'm not abandoning Santa. I'm not one of those people that think the whole thing is lying to your children or tricking them. Children believe in magic without our help, it's okay to use Santa as a tool to teach them about generosity and love. Santa surely doesn't get anything back for flying all over the world and delivering presents to children he has never met. Tyler hasn't been hurt by his belief and neither was I. Through maturity we learn what is real and what is make believe and through God's word we learn what is Truth. Believing in Santa didn't damage Tyler's belief in God anymore than believing the 'Force' in Star Wars was real for a while did.
It's just that the problem with Santa Claus is that he turns me into a blubbering idiot of a mom who doesn't think before I speak. If I let myself get too caught up in the Santa-crazy, I might say something that sticks with my children that I don't want them to remember. I will be praying every day through this season that God guides and guards my tongue so that I do not cause my children to stumble in their belief of the eternal and everlasting, even while we enjoy the fun of the season. And I think that Santa will be bringing my children less stuff this year while their dad and I gift them with more than just 'books and clothes and stuff' as Scooter told Riley just yesterday when he told me what toy he wanted me to get him for Christmas.
Oh my! Parenting these boys is slowly making me a better person, it's just taking a while!!!!!
God Bless!
