One more week. One week left of summer vacation. Only one week left of sleeping in and lazing around in pj's all morning. One more long week of testy children, disorganization and absolutely no routine. One more week until I have to start nagging for Tyler to get homework done, get his reading time in and, now, practice time for his violin. One more week of Scooter being home with me and Riley.
I must be way more finicky than I ever thought I was. Honestly. I am usually chomping at the bit for school to end every year, anxious for a break from all the work and alarm clocks and TAKS stress. But there is a limit to how much fun can be crammed into a summer vacation and we reached it a couple weeks ago around here. By the time school starts, I am so ready for the routine again and ashamedly, to have at least one kid gone for a few hours. I love their company, every single one of them, but the more kids that are here and playing and fighting with each other make it harder to run the business of 'homemaking' and managing this family, mostly because there isn't a schedule.
There were a few times over the past couple of weeks that I almost got on here and just complained and whined to you about all the friggin heat (are you kidding me? 109 again?) and the annoyance I was feeling about being trapped inside with kids that were getting on each other's and my nerves. My friend, JLH over at From the Corner of My Couch beat me to the punch every time though and she was a lot more eloquent and less whiny and bitchy (excuse the expression) than I would have been about it. Reading about her frustration made me feel better that it wasn't just me so I saved you from the extreme whinyness (is that a word?) that you would have gotten from this mama.
I was painting my kitchen walls one afternoon (yes!!!!! I finally got to do it and I absolutely love the new color) while Scooter and Riley played with their next door neighbor friend, Randy, in the living room. All had been well for a couple of hours when suddenly the wind changed or something and no one was getting along. Randy just turned 6 and lately I have noticed that he and Scooter have a little more 'big kid' attitude around Riley. So there was a lot of 'not sharing' and 'not including' and pushing, shoving and whining developing as the summer progressed. Anyway, the mood shifted so dramatically and forcefully that as I ushered Randy out the door and my two little ones to quiet, comfy places for a 'break' and a 'rest' I found myself thinking 'Yep, It's just about time for school to start'.
And yet, my excitement and joy over the return to academia are tainted this year. Because Scooter is leaving me too. I thought for sure that the second kid going off to school would be easier than the first. You know, since I have been through it before and all. In a lot of ways it's actually harder for me, but I think I understand some of the reasons for that.
I was working full time when Tyler went to Kindergarten. He was very used to being dropped off at day care every morning and picked up in the evening on my way home. We were very acclimated to being apart all day, so even though it was a big deal that he went to K-5 and I was weepy with the change of it all and that he was growing up, it wasn't that big of a change for us. Scooter has been home with me since birth except for the one year I went to work to help us crawl back from numerous layoffs and stress. And even then - I got off of work between 1 and 3 every day so it wasn't the long days Tyler had gone from me.
Kindergarten changes everything. Really, it does. Your child comes home from school different than when they left you. For some kids it's subtle and feels like a natural progression and for others it's a drastic, not always nice change. Evidently, the latter was me. I got on the bus in the morning loving my little brother and got off the bus a 'BIG' kid who didn't have time for an almost 3 year old. I am a teeny bit worried that this is what will happen with Scooter and Riley since his play with friends has changed so much over the past couple of months. Sure, it could go the complete opposite way because it IS Scooter and he could come home and fall apart and refuse to go back, forcing me to spend the next 3-6 months tearing him off my leg and into the door every morning while he gets warmed up to the idea of his teacher and fellow students. Either way, once they start school they never stop. The evidence that they are growing up every day is more obvious once they begin their academic journey.
And of course, Scooter has issues. Needless to say, I have a lot of anxiety and mixed feelings about sending him to school next week. All that anxiety comes from a place of uncertainty. Not knowing how he will handle all the new faces, the new schedule, the smells in the cafeteria - all that is making me a little crazy. He will be playing soccer again, continuing with swim lessons and transitioning from Occupational Therapy to Feeding Therapy each week and I am worried it will be too much while I also know that he is entirely capable of surprising us and handling it all with ease. I can't know until we start and I am also pretty excited about seeing how he does handle it all. He's certainly smart enough for school, the kid will probably be bored with some of the stuff since he's so intelligent, but the learning will also require a level of concentration and commitment he hasn't had to produce yet.
I also have a teeny, tiny bit of anxiety about being at home with just Riley. Really, he's awesome and sweet and funny and kind and I think it will be great to just have one kid to haul around. And then, well, not so much. He can be stubborn, reckless, refuses to listen, and just downright ornery sometimes. Without a buddy home with him all day we could be walking into a nightmare (or heaven, the jury is still out). I kind of think that when it comes time for Riley to go to school I might be doing a little celebration dance and thanking the teachers while running for the door and hoping they don't realize what they have gotten themselves into before I clear the parking lot. I debated a MDO program for him this year, but decided to see how things go first. After all, he has 2 more years of being home and will be 2 months shy of turning 6 before he gets to start Kindergarten. Next year, I will definitely find something for him 3-5 days a week, possibly even a private kindergarten for a year before he goes to public school, but we are going to see how things go this year before we make any decisions.
It occurs to me while our summer is winding down and Tyler asks me repeatedly if I am going to cry when Scooter goes to school (the answer is Yes, but not in front of him and only for a minute, just like with you) that I will probably be weeping on the first day of school for the next 3 years. This year it's Scooter. Next year, Tyler will go to JUNIOR HIGH, no that's not a misprint. I have a whole other level of anxiety about puberty and adolescence that I can't even begin to breakdown here yet. And then the following year, Riley will go. And no matter how much I joke about the handful that Riley is, he's my baby so when he goes it might just be the worst of the three for me.
My mind is a whirlwind this week with all that I have to do and all my worries, anxieties and excitement. This last week always kind of sucks because of all the work involved in getting them ready and my desire for the first day to just be here already. I informed my children last night that this would be the last morning they could sleep in as long as they wanted (It's 9:30 and there are no signs of life so far) since they just got back from a week at Lake Texoma with their cousins and their schedules are completely out of whack. Tomorrow, I start waking them up 20 minutes earlier every day so they can sorta get ready for their school morning schedule. And bed times for the summer have been ridiculously late so tonight we start backing up the bedtimes as well. We are going to start adding elements of a schedule into our day in tiny doses. Back to School haircuts are Thursday morning. Meet the Teacher nights are Thursday and Friday (2 different schools is going to be rough).
Thanks to my bargain shopping, all school supplies have been purchased and I never go back to school clothes shopping because it's still so friggin hot here that they wear their shorts to school for at least 2 months. And then they always grow by Christmas anyway, so I would be doubling my purchases for nothing. Backpacks were bought yesterday, which was an ordeal for Tyler because the ones that will hold his binder and laptop and everything else (because the violin will be in his hands) are really pricey, but we found one he loved in a price range that made me mildly queasy, but not overtly nauseous. {Just a side note here - the list asked for Tyler to have a 3 inch zipper binder and we couldn't find one backpack that you could fit that into, even while it was empty. Tyler talked me into a 2 inch version with an extra removable file folder. We are starting to work on a plan for his own organization style that might work WITH the teacher's required version. I am prepared to be THAT mom this year and hold my ground and tell them to shove it if they don't like it to give my kid a better shot of figuring out how to organize for himself. He needs to be prepared for JH & HS. After all, Scooter and Riley are going to a different school. If the teachers and admin staff decide they can't stand me, they don't have to deal with me again after this year.} I am stocked up on lunch bag goodies that don't have to be fresh. I didn't set the alarm clock yet, but I have started the process of figuring out who has to get up when and warned my husband that just because he doesn't have to get up until 7:30 right now for work does not mean that he will be sleeping that long while I am up trying to get everyone into their schedules the first couple of weeks. After they have the routine down, I promised to revisit this proclamation.
The details are falling into place that can be managed. The mental and emotional stuff is still in the air. I am careful not to share my anxiety with Scooter, only focusing on how big he is and how much fun school will be. We started talking about how he'll have to eat breakfast right away in the morning instead of waiting because there won't be snack time at school and how we need to make sure he can open his own Gogurt by tearing the top since there won't be any scissors in the lunch room. We talk about carrying his smell sticks with him and when and how to use them. He repeatedly goes over the schedule of me dropping him off and picking him up and asks me to drive by the school and point out the Kindergarten door again. He has some serious social and emotional bridges to cross the next few weeks, but I think after months of OT, he kind of knows that he does and the time is coming for him to do so. He also has a lot more tools in his belt to deal with the challenges he's facing. Please pray with me that the transition is smooth, that the obstacles are mole hills and not mountains, that I don't lose my mind with worry and have some peace about him leaving the house.
Yes, I admit, I am finicky. Give me a week and I will be moaning about the struggles involved with having 2 kids in 2 different elementary schools (the frustration of managing the drop offs and pick ups for that are going to be crazy), the cramping in my hand from filling out all that first week of school paperwork for two kids (didn't they both get pre-registered? didn't I do this already last spring?), the alarm clock killing my sleep schedule, the exhaustion of running kids from place to place and trying to get homework done while I make dinner, possibly the endless work of entertaining Riley because his best friend left him to go off to school. It's coming. I know, I'll complain because I am good at it and, well, I like to do it (insert smile). But, over all - we are ready. I am ready. One more week . . .
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