Ummmmm, yeah . . . . Sure

You know, when you decide to have a baby, or two, or three, there are a lot of things about the job that you probably don't think through. You think about cute onesies and baby blankets, cribs and then toddler beds, possible play dates and eventual backpacks. You might consider things like team sports, preschools and Sunday school classes, and probably a car pool here and there. Most of us, though, don't really sit down and consider the logistics of all this stuff and what makes it happen. Most of us don't actually plan out every possibility for things we might be asked to help with or administer ourselves. We're just thinking about the wonderful smell of baby shampoo and maybe even whether or not we have time to save for the Ivy League college our little geniuses will probably attend, but of course they will also be primo atheletes and be granted full rides to wherever they want to go.

It's a very long road between the bassinet and a high school diploma, one that I often realize I am navigating blindly. Along this road are so many obstacles and milestones, it's hard to keep track of it all. A common theme though is that there are helpers along the way. There are people who teach our kids and coach our kids and make school events happen. They serve our kids and us as parents from almost the beginning. Did someone bring a dinner to your home after you came home with your newborn? Did you have a friend or relative come over and rock the baby for a while in just the position they liked so that you could take a shower? Probably, or something close to it. Service - these wonderful people who help us with our kids just because they love kids and they love us. As parents we spend an awful lot of time on the receiving end of service, especially in the beginning whether or not we realize it and without having to ask for it. We show up at church and drop our kids in a nursery without questioning if there will be someone there to lovingly care for our babies, unless we were once nursery workers ourselves and know how important it is to have volunteers. We sign up for soccer and assume blithely that there will be a coach for our kids team, unless we have a penchant for athletics or our hubbies do and we're just dying for the job ourselves. We send random food and candy items to school with our kiddos on party days and are grateful that some other mom organized it and it wasn't us this time.

Eventually, even if you don't volunteer willingly and wholeheartedly, you are going to be asked to be one of these helpers. And then it's time to pay up!!! Just kidding - you are probably already serving other moms and kids in some way without realizing it and in ways that come naturally to you. I spent years rocking babies in nursery, keeping preschoolers for Sunday School and even teaching and helping coordinate VBS a couple of years, way before I had kids. I worked MDO programs and I started babysitting the very minute I turned 12. When I had Tyler, on my own, I spent more than my fair share accepting help from wherever I could get it and then when he went to day care and preschool and eventually school, I helped where I could when I could. I couldn't be at every event or field trip because I was working and then had an infant at home, but I sent cookies and cupcakes and money and help wherever I could.

I am great at the food thing - if someone is in need I am most likely going to fill the need with a meal or a dish or snacks or something like it. I am great at being the errand runner. I am good at organizing and planning. I am excellent at research. These are my natural abilities and I don't have to think very hard about how to help and when to do it. They are my comfort zone and they are talents that come in pretty handy in a crunch. Most of these keep me on the move too, which works well for my mentality.

However, I am not too good at being the person who sits still and waits, patting hands and being a shoulder. I want to be, it's just harder for me. I am also not always the best at collaborating on teams for big things because, let's face it - I just want to do it my way and your way be . . .well, you know. I am not good at evangelism and the thought of teaching a room full of 9 year olds who can question everything I say gives me nightmares, but I can handle eight 2 yr olds for an hour before I go home and drink a glass of wine. I am terrible at the neighborhood friend thing, but I am working on it and getting better at tolerating 6 kids in my house at one time in short bursts.

Anyway, you get the drift. This journey of parenthood will bring out the best in you, but also the worst. It highlights our gifts and also our shortcomings. And it often gives us a chance to grow. So where am I going with this? What has me expounding on service and talents and willingness this morning? Well, I've been asked to do several things lately that are new to me or slightly out of my comfort zone, but I'm trying really hard to stretch and contribute.

First, you should know that I am not the best school volunteer. I am definitely one of those parents that if given the choice would let all the other parents who want to help with every little thing do so and then I could keep my head buried in the sand. I've done it, I've helped, some. After I quit work at the end of my pregnancy with Scooter, I helped in the classroom for the 100th day celebration at Tyler's school. When he was in 1st grade and then in 3rd grade I went as a chaperone on some field trips. I was room mom for his 3rd grade class. And here is what I have learned through those adventures - not all moms/helpers are created equal. There are a lot of people who when they go to do this stuff really only care about their kid and aren't generally helpful to the entirety of the outing or situation. After the room mom experience, I decided that this was a job I could do with only a minor headache all year and so I will commit to doing it one time for each kid and that is all. Oh - and the older kids get, the less respectful they are of their parent/chaperone person. They don't always listen even when they are a friend of your child and that's how they got to be in your group.

I didn't even join the PTA the first couple of years Tyler was in school. Then I sent my money but only showed up to the one meeting a year that he was doing something like singing or showing off his gym skills. Let's be honest - the meetings themselves are pretty boring if there isn't some kind of show going on. And, okay, I had this irrational fear going on. I don't actually remember my mom going to too many PTA meetings over the years and then suddenly when Asheley was in elementary school she was the PTA president. I don't think she had ever served on the board before and there she was, the president. Someone bought her a gavel as a thank-you that year. I remember the gavel and the immense amount of work that she did that year. I still don't know how that happened and I strongly suspected that she had just attended a few meetings because it was a new school and then she got roped into the job. My theory was that if I avoided going to more than one meeting a year I could avoid serving on the board. I was on the PTA volunteer list and aided with little stuff when I could, but I didn't want an actual JOB.

Ha! That sounds horrible, but here's the truth of the matter - when Tyler started school I was pregnant and then I had Riley a minute later. I just couldn't do more for a long time and always knew I would get more involved as they got older. It turns out that it doesn't matter if you have ever been to a meeting or not either. It's about who you know, whether you know that you know or not!!!! LOL! Sorry, I'm giddy this morning. The PTA president this year is a woman whose daughter has been in Tyler's class almost every year. She has also been in his REACH groups and countless other things. I have been at almost every parent meeting that wasn't PTA related with this mom for 5 years. She knows ME, I guess. Last spring when I expressed concern to her at instrument night about the number of fundraisers (there were 4 last year) and could she cull that list as President, she started sounding me out about my talents and willingness to help. And then sure enough, at the first gathering before school started she cornered me 2 minutes after I walked in the door and asked me to serve.

So you are now reading the blog of the newest PTA board member with the official job of writing the PTA Newsletter. It's a quarterly gig, doesn't require a lot of heavy work - or so I was told. Turns out though, I don't just have to go to the PTA meetings every month, I also have to go to PTA board meetings each month. And volunteer. A lot. There are a bunch of jobs only board members can do and I get to do them - yay! (Insert sarcasm) Looks like I won't be attending the homecoming game for my 20th (gasp) reunion this fall after all because I will be selling tickets at the school fall carnival instead. Grandparent alert: Will need help with 2 little munchkins! I have to say, I was a little thrown by the informality of being voted in also. It was done over email and kind of non-climactic. Shouldn't there be some kind of initiation meeting and secret handshake?

Since the boys are at two different schools and I am doing the board at Tyler's this year, I opted for minimal involvement at Scooter's school. Two years from now I will have two little ones at one school and I imagine that I will be super involved, but I can only do so much right now. I told Mrs. Crump on the 2nd day of school that although I had put myself on the general volunteers list, I wouldn't be room mom or jumping in too much. I also told her that if she, personally, needed me for anything that she shouldn't hesitate to ask. She knows I have Riley and if he can come with me on the zoo field trip or to sit and help at a table on 100th day of class, I will be there. If she needs someone to cut out stuff or organize stuff at home, I will do that too. She asked if I could type since she hunts and pecks and told me she would definitely ask. I have made similar offers to Tyler's teachers over the years, let them know I was at home and would help where I could, but no one has ever taken me up on it.

Yesterday, when I picked Scooter up from school, Mrs. Crump was waving a big colorful banner type thing at me. It took me a minute to realize she was trying to get me to come and take it from her. Turned out it was pretty easy work - cutting name tags out of laminate. Don't you just love cutting laminate? It's so smooth and easy. Anyway - 23 kids, two different sets of name tags. Pretty simple. But it was day 7 of school so I imagine that I will be doing a lot more stuff for Kindergarten. I'm happy to do it though because Mrs. Crump is helping Scooter every single day in a firm, but gentle and loving way and I am grateful to her.

And then there was soccer. Those of you who know me or have been reading a while know that last year I spent the entire season coaxing, threatening and begging Scooter to do practice without crying, pouting and insisting I stand there for every single drill. The last game and a half were the only ones that I wasn't out on the field, running with my 4 year old. He wanted to play, he just wanted me to do it with him. I just wanted to be one of the moms on the sideline like everyone else. And Riley wanted to play. The director made me an example last week as far as letting moms be on the field as long as needed, especially with 3 year olds. "One game, Two games, Seven games. Mrs. Barrow got more exercise than she ever wanted to last year, but we were happy to help her son get used to playing on a team. Whatever your child needs, that's why we are here." Right. But not me, not this year! Riley might be shy for the first 5 minutes and then he is going to run around and follow that ball and I will have to physically remove him from the field when the game is over and barricade him against jumping in with Scooter's team. Scooter might require some help getting adjusted, but he'll be better this year. I am going to sit on the side lines darnit!

I was thrilled Scott was off of work yesterday and got to help with practice. He ran around with the kids playing soccer in the yard before we left and then we took 2 cars so that I had an exit strategy with Riley after his practice and also so I could go pick up a microwave stand I found on Craig's List afterwards. Immediately, this week was better than last week. Riley went right out with 'Coach Michelle' who doesn't have any kids playing, but used to play and got roped into helping since there weren't any 3 year old coaches. I spent time with Scooter, visiting with other moms and with the director. Scott and I found seats on the bleachers and settled into what is supposed to be normal. Then the director came over to us and asked a very loaded question "Would either of you be able to coach the second 3 year old team? We just can't find anyone to help and we are desperate."

"Ummmmm, yeah . . . sure" that was my response. Actually, we talked about it for a minute and decided we could do it together, sort of. Scott gave me a hard time later when I was groaning about it because I was the one who said yes, but someone has to do the job. He actually played soccer as a kid (not me) and had wanted to coach eventually, but his work schedule is awful right now and he doesn't get home until almost 7 p.m. He also works every 3rd Saturday which often gets shuffled and he can sometimes work on Saturday twice in one month. He didn't see how he could do it on his own. Most of these kids parents are first time soccer moms and dads. They don't want to jump in because they are just as nervous as their kids are. I know - I once was one of them. We have been the ones 'served' many, many times in this capacity. It is our turn to be the ones that do the serving.

Okay, here's what I was thinking - probably because my husband was actually there with me last night - Scott can handle the bulk of the coaching, I know how to handle the games when he isn't there because I was practically an assistant coach last year with Scooter, I can do the devotional part and hand out the stars (Upwards program, they are awesome, check them out) and do the email updates and reminders and I can even handle the rotation schedule. Yeah - and he can do the practice drills and stuff. I thought all of that in about a millisecond and we said yes. Scotty took over practice for half of the kids and was doing a great job while I got more information from Trish and fetched a soda for Scooter and picked up Riley's uniform.

The 3 year olds only practice for 30 minutes because they are 3. But really, their attention span maxes out at about 20 minutes. So Scott was good for a while and then he kinda lost all four kids to four different corners of the gym and wandered over to ask me for help. At that point I was trying to wrangle our very own 3 year old back to practice because all he really wanted to do was look at his new uniform and try it on. By the time we got them all rounded up we had inherited some of the other team members for our huddle and lost one of our own to her mom. I kind of gave a pep talk about what colors we would wear and kicking to the goal of that color and see you Saturday, Yay! It was pathetic.

Riley and I left and on our way to pick up the table, it occurred to me how flawed my original plan actually was. After all, it's the practices that Scott is actually going to miss every week. He'll be there for most of the games with me. But practice is at 5:30 and even if he can swing a shift switch with someone the earliest he will be there is 5:45 on some of the weeks. He is working Saturday for the first, chaotic, crazy game. I am going to be doing this job. I am going to be a 3 year old soccer coach.

I'm laughing as I write, so if you know me well you are probably rolling on the floor in hysterics at this point. Me, a coach? I am sooooo not an athlete. I didn't do much in the way of sports as a kid. One season of softball and a basketball clinic for a week one summer (laughable because at the time I was about a foot shorter than everyone else, but I still remember my 3 different types of passes and how to shoot a lay-up properly) was about the limit. I played the flute and I marched in the band and I was on the flag corps. I read and read and read some more. I was a nerd, not an athlete. And I HATE running. That was my biggest complaint last year. I like being with Scooter, but I hate to run. When I quit band in high school I still had to take one half credit of P.E. so I chose beginners tennis. I figured that was a basic skill I could use as an adult. Turned out we only worked on tennis strokes 2 days per week and spent the other 3 RUNNING. We worked on an eight minute mile and I sprained my knee running bleacher drills. The first homecoming game of my teenage life that I wasn't wearing a band uniform and I was on crutches. It totally sucked and was the longest semester of my life. Mostly because I hate running. Put some weights in my hand and I will train for hours, but please don't ask me to run.

Well, it's done now I suppose. The good news is that they are 3 year olds so they probably won't notice how little I know about coaching or drills or soccer in general. The bad news is that they are 3 year olds and getting them all to listen to me at one time is going to be a serious challenge. Oh - and Scotty and I were given matching coaches shirts as a thank-you. Yep, we'll be twinkies. It's so cute, it's sick. I got a coaches book for ideas for drills and offensive tactics, but they're 3 so if I can just come up with some basic things to work on next week for 25 minutes and then a very short devotional and pep talk I'll be doing good. I told Scotty I might have to do some research on coaching 3 year olds in soccer, after all that's the part I'm good at - right?

Oh geez - I am not going to sit down all season! I am preparing myself for Scooter's complaints already since I will be on the field with Riley, he will want me on the field with him too. I did ask him if he would be my 'helper' for coaching Riley's team. He said 'Yeah, since I already played before I can do that.' Scott is trying to switch Saturdays with someone at work, but it's Labor Day weekend so the pickings are slim. Lord, I know you put me here for a reason, but I am going to need all the help You can give me!

It's all about service, and sometimes it's our turn. Sometimes we are going to have to leave our comfort zone and jump in. I would have felt terrible turning Trish down after all we put them through with Scooter last year. They just loved us through it though and I know that they will love me through making a muck of being a coach too. I may not be doing all this stuff this year willingly and wholeheartedly. I am definitely on the 'Ummmmm, yeah . . . sure' kind of commitment level, but I will do my very, very best at the jobs I am given. I'll take any help I can get though so beware when you see me - I might put you to work cutting out name tags or something!

God Bless!