Some things in life are very obviously worth waiting for: The birth of your child after a long pregnancy, the first bite into a perfect Solly's cheeseburger after two long years, making the last payment on your car so it's finally yours and tv premier week after a long summer of reruns. Other things worth waiting for are not quite as obvious and sometimes you don't even realize you are actually waiting for them, but that doesn't make them any less significant. Which brings me to my little Riley who has given me several things lately that I didn't realize I was waiting for, but were most definitely worth the wait.
I realize that might sound a little odd right off the bat, but let me clarify - all of my kids have qualities that are wonderful and they each have things that they are good at and maybe easier on me than the others. They all also have qualities that are not so wonderful and make things harder on me than the others. So none of this is a dig at the older two in any way, it's just a celebration of Riley. For example, I was starting to think that potty-training before a child was 3 1/2 was a myth or the holy grail, but Riley has been in underwear with barely any accidents for almost 2 weeks and wakes up dry from overnight and naps. Who knew that was possible? Not me - I had given up, but to suddenly be in a position to stop buying pull ups is awesome! It's almost a whole year before I expected. Yay Riley!
Let me start by letting you know - I love macaroni & cheese. I mean, what's not to love? It's cheese and pasta. It's great in any form and I love just about all of it. From gourmet to simple, generic, out-of-the-box - it's all good. My personal favorite is my mother-in-law's homemade mac & cheese. It's a simple recipe that she can whip up at any time, but it is absolutely fabulous, creamy, rich, perfection. I keep watching her making it and swear I am going to learn her recipe, but part of the beauty of mac & cheese is that it always tastes that much better when a mom (any mom) makes it for you. I guess it's part of the comfort food factor. Anyway - love it, love it, love it. Therefore, it has always been frustrating to me that my oldest, Tyler, doesn't like it at all. Really? I thought all kids liked Mac & Cheese! Nope. Not mine. Actually, he doesn't like pasta at all and never has. He's by far my best eater and loves every other kind of starchy, carbohydrate food that I do, but no pasta. Even at 10, he tries different pasta all the time but it's a no-go. I think it might be a genetic mis-fire, but don't quote me on that. And of course, Scooter doesn't like it, but we've already discussed Scooter's eating habits and that's not really a big surprise.
Which brings me to Riley, who eats mac & cheese at school. For a while, the transition between 'what I eat at school' and 'what I eat at home' hasn't really been gelling together for Riley so he won't touch my mother-in-law's mac & cheese yet because it doesn't look like the stuff he gets at school. He has also recently turned down pretty generic stuff at friends houses, I am assuming just because we were not at school. And generally, I don't think to make the stuff for lunch anymore because who is going to eat it with me? But yesterday we made a quick run to CVS for milk and as we were trolling the aisles, my eye lit upon the boxes of Kraft's finest. Hmmm. I don't really need a whole box for myself, should I risk it? 'Riley, would you like some macaroni and cheese for lunch?' He eyed the box and must have decided it looked right because he said 'Yes!' I bought the box and then repeatedly asked him through the drive home and the creation process if he was still going to eat it with me. Guess what? He did! This might not seem momentous to you, but to me it was awesome! It is rare that my two little ones actually eat something for lunch that I have made for myself. Scooter had already chowed down on grapes and peanut butter crackers by the time Riley and I sat down at the table with a big bowl of mac & cheese in front of us. The two of us each had several helpings and we finished almost the whole bowl. Maybe I'm just being silly, but having lunch with my two year old made my day. We talked, smiled and ate our way through something that is one of my favorite things - I was so happy! Can't wait to do it again soon!
In addition to Scooter being a picky eater, he is also, what I call, 'my warm-up kid'. He takes his own time to warm up to every single idea, situation and person. When he is finally ready to take something on, he does it with gusto. For example, his birth. I was scheduled for an induction a day after my due date and kept getting rescheduled all day. I was so annoyed since there had been lots of activity on the pre-labor scale and I really wanted this baby to get on with things, but he wasn't. Just when I was sure that I was going to be pregnant at least another 3 days because of the hospital schedule, my water broke. Between that moment and Scooter's birth was a time frame of less than 4 hours. He waited until he was darn good and ready and then GUSTO. Another example - Scooter has spent the entire summer having to be coaxed into big pools with Scott or I, clinging to our necks the whole time and getting out as soon as possible. Then a week ago, he decided he wanted to jump in the pool to mommy catching him, without even testing the water first and I can't get him to stop doing it over and over again. Tyler will try a lot of things at least once, if you talk to him about it first and let him get over being nervous and adjust to the idea. Like the big roller coasters at six flags this year which he will do, but he takes his time getting ready first. Riley, however, is another story. I don't know if it's just his personality, the fact that he's only 19 months younger than Scooter, or the fact that he's the youngest of 3 boys, but he is ready for every thing at any moment - whether we are ready as well or not.
It seems like playing Soccer as a preschooler is almost a rite of passage these days. It's a fairly easy sport for little kids to learn how to play on a team, etc. Tyler started at 3 1/2 and I spent the first half of his first practice with him clinging to my leg, screaming as I ran drills with the team and helped him get adjusted. Then, he was fine with practice but the first few games were painful as he either cried and wouldn't go on the field in front of everyone or went onto the field and just stood there pouting. He was eventually fine and loves playing sports, but since Scooter is twice as shy as Tyler ever was, I wasn't really anxious to repeat the process even though he absolutely loves every sport we introduce him to at home. After all, he has to adjust to being around his much loved relatives almost every time we see them and this is a strange location, strange kids, strange parents. Scott, however, has been ready for this since Scooter was born, well probably before. So now at 4, we have started practice for an Upwards Soccer program. Luckily, they are way understanding about shy kids and actually are encouraging me to stay with Scooter for the entire practice. I am not actually thrilled about the fact that I have to stand near him the whole time and constantly encourage him to participate while running around like an idiot, but I am hoping it will eventually pay off.
I look around at these other kids though and these parents and I wonder - what am I doing wrong? These other kids take a second to adjust to a new situation and pow - they are off and running. Obviously at different rates, but the other parents aren't in the middle of the soccer field running around with their kids. And it's not like I could just leave Tyler or Scooter out there to fend for themselves, because they wouldn't stay put. And really - do you want to force your kid to play? No - the whole point is that you want them to have fun. I just seem to have to 'encourage' my kids to have fun in these situations. It's gotta be me, right? Two kids in a row like this - I have to be too clingy or overprotective or something.
Except, there is Riley. Riley wants to play and he wants to play on a team. He won't be 3 until November 1st, so he can't play on a team until the spring. But he tells me every night 'I wanna talk about soccer,' 'What about soccer honey?' 'When I'm 3, I play on a team.' Every single night as I am putting him to bed. The Y has these soccer-tot programs 2 yr olds can do with their parents and I will enroll Riley next week, but if you try to explain that to him, it's not good enough. He wants what Scooter has, but doesn't want. At practice, the coaches are very understanding about Riley too. They don't really care if he runs around and practices with Scooter - especially if it will help Scooter adjust. They know Riley isn't really on the team, but Riley doesn't know that. He just wants it.
Last night the problem wasn't that Riley wanted to play too, it was that we were short a ball. Riley would hand over the ball to let Scooter have a turn for drills, but when Scooter would hesitate, Riley just took the ball back and stood in front of him to take over! It was kind of funny. After all, Scooter has been talking for Riley and doing for Riley his whole life. Whenever Riley takes too long to make a decision or Scooter doesn't like the choice, he's pretty quick to take over for his little brother. Even trying to get Riley to answer questions about colors or shapes with Scooter around is difficult because he doesn't really give Riley time to answer before he jumps in and does it for him. Lately, though, Riley has been putting his foot down (or yelling a protest, or hitting his brother when he takes the 'good' toy away, etc.) and staking his own claim. I guess he figures that if Scooter isn't going to play soccer when he can, Riley will just do it for him.
Eventually, I had to have Scott come take Riley off the court so that I could just focus on Scooter and work on getting him through this challenge. Scooter did great and actually started listening to the coaches and participating in drills without too much flack (there was still an occasional obstinant expression and a backwards kick into the goal, just to show that he could), so I know that although this season might be a bit stressful, it will be worth it in the end. Still, I felt so bad for Riley.
Riley wants to be a 'big' boy so bad and he always seems to be waiting. I know a lot of these particular age barriers will be cured once he's 3, but there will always be another one. Scooter is already stressing about starting kindergarten next year and Riley will have to wait 2 years after that because of when his birthday falls. I can already hear the complaints. And eventually it will be that Scooter is tall enough for big rides, but won't want to try them. Riley won't be tall enough but will be chomping at the bit to get on one. Ugh - and what about when it comes to driving? Please God, don't let Scooter just hand over the keys to Riley before he has a license just because he wants to drive!
Overall, the two of them are a good team. They usually compensate for each other pretty well and they are almost inseparable. I am glad they have such good friends in each other. The age struggle is tough sometimes though and I know it will always be that way. But, how cool is it that I have a kid who is just ready to jump in and try stuff? It's kind of scary that he doesn't really think things through, but he is only 2 so we can work on that. But I am pretty sure that I am not going to have to worry about walking Riley through his first practice at any sport, or talk him into trying a new adventure, or explain over and over again how we all get nervous the first day of school, etc.
Maybe I am just a different mom to Riley than the other two. Maybe it's just that he has a lot of his Papa Barrow running in his veins. Maybe it's because he has to fight so hard to get what he wants with two older brothers in his way. Maybe it's because he's not that much younger than Scooter. Or maybe, it's just that Riley is Riley. And how awesome is that? So 3 cheers for my little Riley Bear! Riley who is just not afraid to be himself and show it to everyone. Riley, who showed his mom this week that even if I didn't know I was waiting for some little stuff to happen along the road of parenthood - it was worth every second!
Thanks and God Bless!
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