Well, it's the first day of school again. I can't believe my baby is in 5th grade this year. Preparation has changed a bit over the years. Today Tyler went off to school with hair gel and deodarant applied. Certainly not like years past. Which gets me to thinking about how much things have changed for him, for our family and for me. It also gets me to pondering what I hope my child does and does not get out of school.
I held it together on his first day of kindergarten until I left the building and then I cried like a baby. Of course, I was 3 months pregnant, but I think I would have cried anyway. I loved his teacher and I loved his school. And what's not to love about kindergarten in general? I mean, kids learn so much in one year - letters, reading, counting by fives. It's great. We learned together that it was okay to be apart.
First grade brought us a new school and a new teacher, but it was a fabulous change for us and Tyler did great. We were nervous the first day, but all went well. We did our first science project and we graduated from me reading to Tyler for his nightly assignment to him reading to his little brother. We also learned that homework wasn't hard to do, just hard to want to do.
Second grade brought the first teacher that meant business. She wasn't warm and fuzzy, but she was dedicated and brought out the best in Tyler by challenging him in great ways. We weren't sure how much she liked us, but when I had my first parent-teacher conference in 3rd grade, Mrs. Patterson read me a letter from the 2nd grade teacher about what a special kid Tyler was and how she should challenge him as much as possible because he could take it, needed it and would be all the better for it. 2nd grade was also the beginning of REACH, a gifted program that Tyler was invited to join for a few hours a week where they focus on logic, creativity and thinking outside of the box. That also meant a very intensive independent research project that took weeks of work and a level of research I hadn't done until middle school or early high school. We learned that kids can do more, if we just ask them to.
Mrs. Patterson was by far his best teacher so far. She had been teaching 3rd grade for 30 years and knew that age better than anyone I've met. She taught Tyler responsibility for self while teaching me to let go a little bit at a time. I also learned that it can be a great thing to be a room parent, but one time per kid is probably more than enough for this mom.
Fourth grade was the first time that Tyler went into the school by himself on the first day, without me walking him to his class. And there was a lot about the year that left him to himself to figure out. REACH became an all day event once per week, making him responsible for making up an entire days work from his regular class. His REACH project was done almost completely without my help, making me very nervous. But I got to watch him give his memorized presentation and he did as well as the 6th graders in his group. His REACH teacher and I were both blown away by how much he exceeded our expectations. His school was the first in district for 4th-6th graders to get assigned netbook computers so in the Spring I had a child coming home and playing on a computer that I didn't have complete control over and using Powerpoint to complete assignments just because he thought it was a good tool. Neither one of us liked his 4th grade teacher. Tyler learned that he wasn't top dog all the time as his math grade stumbled a bit and he had to learn to take his time and read directions carefully. I learned that it really is OK to be the mom that calls the school to ask questions about curriculum and complain about a teacher's uncommunicative tendencies.
So now for Fifth Grade. Everything is changing. Tyler is literally growing like a weed right now both physically and emotionally. He will rotate between 3 teachers this year which will hopefully teach him to be organized and responsible for his work and assignments because there won't be someone to remind him about every little thing. He will be going on an overnight science field trip with the entire grade and I am not ready for that at all. Later this year he will get the opportunity to choose an instrument for orchestra next year. Okay - was I really this YOUNG when I did that? He will be riding his bike to the local school and taking a bus to his school instead of me picking up and dropping off. This means he will be getting to and leaving a strange school outside of hours that other kids and teachers are hanging around (I'm a nervous wreck, he's excited). He walked into school on his own this morning and did not know which of the 5th grade classrooms was his home room. Lockers have not been pre-assigned. It might only be marginally different, but it's different.
And next year, we start all over again. Scooter will be in Kindergarten and Tyler will have his last year of elementary school. I am amazed at all they learn, good and bad. I couldn't believe how Tyler's math work last year was really pre-algebraic and it will be interesting to see what he does this year. I was really ticked off to find out that the state of Texas doesn't care anymore if kids learn to write or read cursive, and I hate that I will have to be the one to teach him and the others since I think it's important that he learns. I love that Tyler does research on his own and properly accredits his sources. I hate that he has had to learn that sometimes childhood friendships are fleeting and circumstancial. I don't like that he's had to learn the hard way that every teacher is not good at what they do and yet, I think it's good he learned that early. I like that he has to do a science project every year so he learns the process, but I hate the whole process and I am not a fan of science projects. It hurts that Tyler has learned that kids love gossip and rumors and make a big deal out of stupid inconsequential things, making him cautious to be himself in front of his class at times. But, I like the opportunity to teach him tolerance and compassion for others. With luck and confidence, I hope that he is never bullied. With diligence and love, I hope that he will never be a bully.
There are times that I think my kids would benefit from home schooling so that they can learn what I think is important, but I usually come to my senses about 5 seconds after I have that thought. I think home schooling is great and if you really love it yourself, you should do it. But, I would never have pushed or challenged Tyler as much as he has been so far because I wouldn't have thought it was possible for him to do some of the things he has done. And when I do think something is being missed, I am more than capable of filling in the blanks. I don't always like the life lessons he is learning either, but I think it's better he learns them. I have a tendency to be over protective and sheltering of my children as it is. If I homeschooled, they would never be prepared to face life in all it's reality. The lessons are hard, but they are important and at the end of the day, I am always here for Tyler to talk it through, cry about it and reason it out. Home should be a safe haven to come to and recover and heal and be safe. It's a sanctuary. Home should not be the ONLY place kids feel safe and comfortable because they all have to grow up and face the world someday and we should be teaching them how to function outside of the home.
Okay - enough ranting, I swear. I've just been super reflective today as I usually am on the first day of school. As I caught a glimpse of my son's suddenly hairier legs this morning, I realized how fast time is flying and how it was just yesterday that he was a pretty bald baby in my arms. Childhood is racing by quickly. And I only have one more year until Scooter is out of my house and gone all day too. I better soak up every minute and teach him as much as I can about how to deal with life in general - on a 4 yr old's terms of course. Which leads me to signing off as I hear the two little ones in the other room, fighting over light sabers and pretending the dog is a bad guy. Guess it's time for another lesson in SHARING and also for one about GENTLENESS.
Thanks and God Bless!
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