Right. So we know we are crazy, live in crazy and do ridiculously crazy things around here in the Barrow household on a daily basis. On Friday though, the crazy found a new level of mania.
Let me set the scene for you.
After payday Thursday, I decided that the dogs really needed a bath and they desperatley need their nails clipped. Since bathing dogs is not something I consider fun and because they won't let me anywhere near their paws with a nail clipper, I knew I was going to need professional help. And honestly, Bella's haircut from mom this summer wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great either so as it grows out it looks worse than before. She really needs a shave by someone who knows what they are doing. Because I don't have time in my schedule to haul them to Lewisville to see Jenifer (Tyler's step-mom), I decided PetSmart would be sufficient. I called to make them appointments.
When I got the appointments made, I remembered that Bella was supposed to get her rabies shot this summer and if I didn't get that taken care of, PetSmart wasn't going to clean her up. Brewer is on a puppy insurance plan that covers all his vaccinations, but he was due for a shot as well. I called the vet (also at PetSmart - Banfield) and attempted to fit in both dogs visits into my ridiculous schedule prior to the grooming appointments on Monday. My options were 2 separate appointments on Saturday or a joint appointment Friday afternoon. I knew there wouldn't be time for me to drive back and forth twice on Saturday with all the errands I had to run in preparation for Riley's Sunday birthday party. So my wonderful, multi-tasking brain decided it would be a great idea to combine the appointments and go that very afternoon.
Okay, here in crazyville I admit that I don't always think everything through. Sometimes the multi-tasking part of me is just overpowering and tells the sane part of my brain that I can handle just about anything. Hitting 4 birds with 1 stone is always better - or so I occasionally let myself believe. It didn't occur to me at any point in this process that I could actually change the grooming appointment to later in the week to make things easier on myself. At no time did I actually stop to consider how exactly I was going to pull off this feat, I just naturally assumed that I would pull it off.
So when Tyler got home that afternoon, I piled all 3 kids and 2 dogs into the car and headed to the vet's office. While I was enroute, it finally hit me that I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to get us all safely across the parking lot and through a store that was going to make both dogs completely nuts with their need to smell just about everything in their path. No extra adult to help. Hmmm - conundrum. Tyler and I ran through multiple scenarios and possible solutions, most of which involved him hanging out with Bella and possibly one kid in front of the store while I parked and brought the rest of the crew up to the door. We lucked out though and got a parking spot right in front. No parking lot crossing required which was good because just getting everyone out of the car and safely onto the sidewalk was a workout. Now, the store.
Bella is normally very good through this process. She's been through it enough and she's a very well behaved dog. She gets excited, yes, and has to be reminded that I am there, but I could take her anywhere and make it work. Brewer - that's another story. He's still very much a puppy. A very large puppy. And he doesn't listen to me very well which is why I am currently researching dog obedience classes in the area to get him some more training and get him used to obeying me, not just Scott. He did the puppy training thing and most of it works, but I am with him all day and he doesn't think I am the boss. He's a major handful in public and can almost pull your arm from your socket trying to get to everything he wants to check out.
The doors of PetSmart opened and I reminded all the kids that we were heading straight to the back to the vet counter. The dogs took off and we tried to follow. Brewer greeted everyone he saw with excessive exuberance and it took all my attention and strength to keep him from jumping up on everyone's chest and knocking them over. Scooter and Riley trudged along, trying to avoid getting trampled by the dogs or knocked over by constantly overcrossing leashes. Bella was a lot harder to handle for Tyler than usual since Brewer was there. She was trying to run interference for Brewer and making his job harder than it had to be as well. I was already frazzled and out of breath by the time we made it to the counter. I looked at the nurse and said 'I'm gonna need to put Brewer in a room as quickly as possible. Can we weigh him and then do our check-in?' She agreed and somehow I got Brewer to stay on the scale for more than 2 seconds and led him to an exam room, pulling the door shut behind him as fast as I could. I turned to Bella.
Normally Bella does the scale thing easy as pie, but she was not really listening to Tyler so I took over. A woman checking out on the far side of the counter started suggesting different obedience schools to me while I fought with Bella. Bella would get on the scale easy enough, but she wouldn't hold still and would hop right back off. It took about 6 tries to get her actual weight. And the whole time this stranger is talking to me about some dog trainer who used to train wolves and can handle any dog, yada yada yada. I politely said, yes I am looking for another option for the Boxer you just saw and will check that out.
Then the woman comes over to me and tries to instruct me on how to hold Bella's leash. Really? This dog is not the problem! It's the other one! I said 'she's fine, she's just overexcited because she has never been here with the other dog before'. I repeated this several times while she tried to take my dog's leash and show me how proficient she was. By the time she was trying to show me her mastery of dogs, the weigh-in was over and Bella was sitting next to my leg, calmly panting and smiling, being patient with a completely lax leash between us. The obedience guru didn't notice that though and tried to take her leash from me. I finally just got very firm and said 'Bella is perfectly well behaved. She's just very excited today because this is a new situation for her with the puppy here. Thank you.' and took Bella to the same exam room, shutting the door behind both dogs now.
Looking back, I can kind of see how it looked to her. Here was this little woman with hair flying around trying to corral 3 kids and 2 dogs. Bella weighed in at 92 pounds and Brewer at almost 76. Tyler was doing his best with Bella, but she didn't have her normal leash and it was way too long to keep her under control for him. Riley was wearing shorts paired with his long sleeved Buzz Lightyear pajama shirt, slightly too small, that he had refused to take off all day and he had his blanket around his shoulders, secured with a safety pin so that he had a cape on. He kept turning in circles, looking over his shoulder so he could see the cape fly. Scooter was dressed normally, but was carrying the handle to a light saber. Just the handle. The plastic blade part had broken off, but the handle still lit up and made credible light saber noises. Every time someone came near us he was making jedi poses with his saber and giving people the 'I am a Jedi, Don't mess with me' look. Crazy. I am sure I looked like I couldn't handle anything at that point.
It took me, Tyler and a nurse to get all of us in the exam room without dogs escaping. I got the kids seated on a bench and turned to talk with the nurse. I was trying to keep Brewer still while she checked his temperature, unsuccessfully, when the door cracked open. The pushy woman from the lobby reached her hand inside the door to give me a piece of paper with the obedience school information on it. Pushy, pushy, pushy (I probably will check it out but only because I was already looking, not because she said to!). The staff decided 3 different times that it was better to take Brewer to the back to get things done for him. More hands on deck, I guess. Every time someone new walked into the room, I looked up and smiled and said 'Welcome to Crazy'. The first time the vet came in and I said this, she said 'Oh no, they're fine . . .' Brewer wasn't in the room. He was getting a heart worm sample taken in the back. She left to check on him and then when she returned she told me 'He's nuts. I mean completely nutty.'
So now the real battle begins. After telling me that Brewer was perfectly proportioned, in perfect health and ready for breeding, we moved on to Bella. Poor Bella. No wonder she didn't want to get on the scale - every time we go we get to hear how overweight and unhealthy she is. When I first got everyone settled in the room the nurse had commented on the dogs playing together so well. I said something to the effect of her having more energy now that I took her off of diet dog food. I got the first, expected, LOOK. The look that says 'you are a terrible doggy momma to have let your dog get to this point. You must be doing absolutely everything wrong for her to look like this.' That look. Scotty doesn't get it, but he has only taken Bella to the vet once or twice for her leg chewing. The nurse started in on the whiny 'but it's so bad for them, for their hearts, to be like this'. My look must have been sufficiently evil in response because she ran away and didn't bring it up again.
But the battle was waiting for me anyway and I knew it because I have been fighting it for over 3 years. I used to be sufficiently shamed when the vets and nurses would start their guilt trips and lectures and gave me the LOOK. I would go home and try everything they suggested and feel like I could make some progress. But nothing has ever worked and no one has ever really LISTENED to me about Bella. I don't think they believed that she ever moved at home or really got any excersize. I think they were considering whether or not I let Bella eat our meals with us at the table even though we have never given her table scraps willingly (I have had 2 babies since we got her though - she has gotten her fair share of dropped food, I won't lie, but it's been in tiny bits for short bursts). Anyway, shame is no longer a part of my emotional make-up where Bella is concerned. I know her. They don't.
So when the vet finished telling me how wonderful Brewer was in the health and weight department and turned to Bella and said 'BUT . . .' I put my hand up and said 'I am not fighting this battle anymore. I know what her weight is. It never really changes. She is what she is and I love her.' I was probably rude, but really after just getting us all in the door I was already tired. I didn't want to fight anymore. I have been through every question, every lecture, every possible experience with this dog's weight. I couldn't take it anymore. If the vet was going to give me crap, I was just about to say 'just give her the shots and I'm leaving'. She didn't though, she brought up what the nurse had told her about the diet food. So I cut her off and said something like the following:
Yes, I have taken her off of the diet food. It happened by accident while we were on vacation this summer and didn't have time to shop for it before we left, but when she had been on regular food again for a couple of weeks her energy was higher and she was happier so I just stuck with it. She's done prescription diet food and regular diet food. She's been on a diet for over 3 years. Before that she always had measured portions, we don't leave food out for her all day. She gets plenty of excersize (witness her currently jumping and playing with Brewer while we talk). We didn't do this to her. It's how she is. She's a quarter Blue Heeler and has the wide build and short legs of that breed. If she was a full bred Golden with the length and height of a Golden, her weight would be perfect, but it isn't. I am done fighting. She is what she is and I am not putting her on another diet. She's never lost more than 2-3 pounds on one and since she's been on regular food she's probably only gained 2 pounds. So forget it, it's a closed issue.
When I paused for breath the vet asked me if we had ever had her thyroid tested. No, I said, even though I have been asking for that for over 2 years. Everyone always said I had to do this or that first and we weren't there yet. They wouldn't do it. She said the best words ever 'I will'. Yay! Awesome! The test was going to take 30 minutes and could we wait? When I said yes, we were planning on going next door to get something and I was going to leave the dogs in the van for that anyway, she said 'Would you like to leave them here while you shop? Then we'll get the test run and you can come back for them.' I was grinning and nodding my darn fool head off, and Scooter piped in and said 'I don't want to stay here, I want to go with you mommy'. I guess he thought I was going to leave the kids there too. The vet assured him that they didn't do kids, just dogs & cats, and off we went.
I took my kids to Michael's and Target and then we walked back to PetSmart. Riley was still in his cape and was now slowing us down by trying to see the shadow his cape was making in the sunlight. Scooter startled someone coming out a door by firing up his light saber and making a ready-to-strike pose. Tyler asked a million questions about Bella's test, worried this would mean she was sick. I reassured him that if I was right (and Lord knows I KNEW I was right) Bella would actually start to feel better.
When we got back to the counter, the vet came out smiling and said 'Bella is definitely VERY Hypo-Thyroid.' Woohoo! I have never been so happy about a diagnosis in my life. No more evil 'you are a bad doggy momma' looks! So a prescription and plan of action ensued. Very excited chattering between me, the vet and one of the nurses. Someone brought Bella out to me before I could suggest that we do this in stages. Tyler took her leash and as I was pulling out my credit card to pay for our visit I heard him say 'Um, Mom - Look at Riley.' I turned around and there was my child, standing in the middle of PetSmart, with his pants and underwear pulled down around his ankles for no apparent reason. Man, just when I was starting to look sorta sane!
We did make it back to the car without losing any dogs, kids or limbs. We did make it home during which drive I called my sister to exclaim 'Bella's Hypo-Thyroid! Yay!' We sat down to dinner with Scott and related the story to him. He laughed his butt off at me and all the antics and said he wished he could have been a fly on the wall. I have sworn off ever taking the two of them ANYWHERE at the same time again by myself. Well, at least until I can teach Brewer some manners. Monday morning I cancelled their grooming appointments. I'll reschedule this week, but in stages. Even if it means extra driving and no multi-tasking, it will be better for my sanity if they go separately.
The funny thing is though, I think it was because I had Brewer with me that we finally got somewhere with Bella. Bella usually is so good at the vet that she just sits there or lies there patiently, letting them do whatever they want. So when I say to them 'She plays, she excersizes, she's active' they don't believe me. But this time they saw her jumping all over Brewer and playing non-stop while we were in the office. We have fed Brewer and Bella identically and Brewer is perfectly proportioned which showed that we didn't suck as doggy-parents. I won't ever attempt this again, unless they are both old and slow and calm, but I will always be glad I did it this one time. It's probably really good that I didn't bring the kitten at the same time though. If I had, Brewer would have torn up their whole office trying to play with her. Talk about Crazy!
Thanks and God Bless!
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