When I first started this blog, I did it for a variety of reasons, most of which were cloudy even for me. I love to write, I love my kids. It kind of seemed like a no-brainer and I really thought I might only have 2 readers, my mom and my sister. I'm so glad that's not the case because this blog has become an outlet for me to process many things that are happening in my life and I hope that in seeing how badly I sometimes handle stuff I might encourage another mom out there or make her laugh with the antics of my 3 unruly children. After all, I love to read other womens' blogs even more than I like to write my own. Maybe you do too.
The last couple of months have been eye-opening for me in many ways. I began couponing as kind of a test-case for myself to see if I could save us a few bucks. The blessings have been amazing. I have saved our family literally hundreds of dollars so far in ways I couldn't have imagined and I am still getting the hang of this thing. I had wanted to save some money from our grocery budget to give us more breathing room, but already I have found that it enables us as a family to give more to others in small ways. 'Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.' 2 Corinthians 9:7. When you are a good steward of the gifts God gives you, it becomes a very easy to give cheerfully. I always wanted to give more, but knew that providing for my family was just as important. I am starting to stockpile some key things that are costly on a monthly basis and this is freeing me up for bigger things. 'In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has.' Proverbs 21:20. For some reason, having extra deodorant and body wash on hand so that I can give it away when I want is really awesome. It may sound corny, but it's very true. And I am starting to see that all these little things are a ministry all their own.
Through my search for the best couponing sites and blogs, I have found some really amazing women. Women I have never, and probably will never, meet. Women who are inspiring me. Every day when I go through my coupon sites to look for good deals, I also look for new posts from these other blogs I have found. These are women who are using their blogs and their lives to help other women in small but significant ways. They are ministries in and of themselves. They are serving in ways that I couldn't have imagined. It's amazing to me how God uses everything to His purpose. Even the internet! Anyway, I thought you might like to check some of these out.
First, Women Living Well (www.womenlivingwell.org), by Courtney. This is the woman I mentioned recently in the Rachel Ray video clip. Courtney blogs on everything from homeschooling her children to honoring God in your marriage. The blog has no main focus other than loving God, so I never know what I am going to find when I open up her page, but I find that I am often inspired by just one comment she makes rather than the whole of her message. This has also been the source of many other blogs that I have found and enjoy. It might not be your cup of tea every day, but I guarantee that if you are looking for a little encouragement, you will find it here at some point.
Second, The Casabella Project (www.casabellaproject.com), by Myra. This blog makes me smile. I am not a crafty person by nature, but Myra makes me believe that I can be. She posts about cool, thrifty, do-it-yourself decorating. Even though I haven't found the nerve to try one of these projects yet, you can bet I will eventually. And even though one of her posts wasn't titled 'Spray paint your fireplace', some of her other posts DID inspire me to go through with that particular project I had been considering for a long time and had been nervous about. She also posts about improvements she is making in her own 1950's home and believe me, I can relate to the challenges she faces. If you are looking for inexpensive, but BEAUTIFUL, ways to brighten your home, I encourage you to check this site out.
Third, Smockity Frocks (www.smockityfrocks.com), by Connie. This site is not for the faint of heart. This woman is raising and homeschooling eight, yes I said 8, children. This is what she says 'I write here about everything from serving a risen Savior to serving mashed potatoes and gravy'. And she does. Not every post is for me. Today it was about substituting flax seed for eggs while baking which I am pretty sure I won't ever do. However, when she posts about potty training, I pay attention because the woman has 8 kids. Connie is part of a '4 moms' link up with 4 other homeschooling moms with large families. I have peeked in on the other blogs (I swear one of them has 10 kids and they sleep communally in 2 rooms, but I wasn't entirely sure I was reading that right). There are great tips in here about teaching your children everything from how to switch out a roll of toilet paper to how to bake bread from scratch, and some good tips for teaching reading to kids as well. It's a little out there, but when I get discouraged trying to figure out what to do with my 3 kids and 3 pets, I like to read how she handles 8 kids and a gaggle of pets, including a new batch of chicks that they are raising and I think maybe hoping to sell and use their own eggs. More than I would do, I know.
Fourth, Keeping the Kingdom First (www.kingdomfirstmom.com), by Alyssa. Now, as far as coupon info sites go, this is not the best. There are many, many sites that will post every single deal out there for you and this one is not it. What it is, however, is a great guide to living frugally so there are some posts about great deals, they are just usually duplicates of what are already out there. What you will find though is information about 'how' to coupon, tips for helping you get out of debt, and posts about honoring God in your marriage and in motherhood. She recently posted on modeling good Stewardship of your finances to your children, I loved it. Alyssa was once a single mom, like me, so I have a soft spot for her. She does a lot of posts (or has others guest-post) about do-it-yourself stuff you would never think of, such as face wash and laundry detergent. These can both save you money and de-chemical your home, which is what she is working towards. Anyway, I like it and you might too.
Fifth, Comfy in the Kitchen (comfynkitchen.blogspot.com), by Janelle. I just found this one through Courtney at Women Living Well, but I am super excited about it. This woman serves the Lord through food. First, she cooks a LOT of meals, from scratch. She delivers meals to multiple families on a regular basis, elderly in her church, etc. and always to new moms. Then she blogs about what she's making. Step by step instructions to make good, homecooked meals for the not-so-savvy-in-the-kitchen women. She's out to help the crazy mom with an infant on her hip and a toddler around her ankles and newly-wed women with no clue how to put green beans on the table that look like they didn't get poured out of a can and boiled down to soup. She never serves her family the leftovers either, they get the best of her as well. Now THAT's a ministry! I always say, I can't do much, but I can cook - this woman takes it to a whole new level. Loving this new find so much and totally gonna try the cream puff dessert and cheesy bread I found there this week. They look sooooo yummy.
And finally, The Meanest Mom (themeanestmom.blogspot.com), by Jana. Jana and her family recently relocated to Orlando, FL from I-don't-know-where, which is about when I caught up with her. I can't even remember how I found this site, but I am SOOOO glad I did. She and her husband have 4 children. The oldest 3 were born in the same calendar year - 2 of them twins, and then she had a 4th who is currently 2. This blog is hysterical. Jana has a way of telling a story in a very concise way (something I am very jealous of since I obviously stray to the wordy), and she has a very strong sense of sarcasm and irony. She obviously loves her kids a whole lot and through her witty, quick stories you get the sense that she is hiding her love of all things behind a dry irony, but it's effective. These posts are very quick reads, but so much fun. I urge you to check it out and laugh with me.
I also look forward to posts by some of my dear friends who blog, they always encourage me and inspire me. I wanted to show you though, some of the things that are currently inspiring me to be MORE. These women are blogging and ministering and serving the Lord in ways that I wouldn't have thought of and in a medium that most of us take for granted every day. They show me every day that God can use each of us, even in the tiniest of ways. I'm still in search of what God has given me for spiritual gifts. I'm still in search of what He wants from me every day in His purpose and plan for me. I hope He is going to use me, is using me, in ways that I can't even see right now.
I stumble through my posts, and I don't even know how to use all the tools here at my disposal. For example, I have no idea if the 'Link's that I put out here will work or show up on this post, but I hope you check out some of these sites anyway. Maybe they will inspire you too.
God Bless!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Morning Conversation with a 3 year old . . .
After Riley had been up about 20 minutes this morning, he came into my office and said 'Momma, I will really love some popcorn.' like he was 30, instead of 3.
'Popcorn? How about breakfast first?'
'Yes, I really love popcorn for breakfast'
'How about something healthy first?'
'Yes, popcorn is healthy'
'No, popcorn is not really healthy. Let's have some healthy breakfast first.'
'Yes, popcorn for breakfast. It's healthy. You got some popcorn!' (Big grocery shopping was on Sunday - I have everything.)
'Sweetie, I know I got popcorn. I don't mind you having popcorn for a snack, but you need to have something healthy first. How about a banana?'
'Okay, ONE bite of banana.'
'A whole banana'
'ONE bite of banana'
'One WHOLE banana'
Riley picks banana. I peel banana. I remind him to eat whole banana. He eats one bite and leaves the remainder on my bedroom floor and then tells me he has done this.
'Okay, I eat ONE bite of banana. Now, I will really love popcorn.'
'Five bites of banana, Riley'
'Noooo-hooo'
I put my foot down. I insist that no popcorn will be made until banana is eaten.
'Momma. I'm really, really mad. We are so mad at each other.'
'I'm sorry you are mad at me Riley. Let me know when you are done being mad at me and you are ready to eat something healthy.'
I make my way back to office and find empty banana peel. It has moved all by itself. Riley is currently pouting on living room floor. I suspect one of two dogs as banana eating culprit and discard peel.
I venture to kitchen to refill coffee. Riley has sensed correctly that I might be serious and is looking for his banana.
'Where is my banana?'
'It's gone. I think one of the dogs ate it.'
'Nooooo. Not fair. I want my banana in the floor.'
'When you leave food in the floor, the dogs eat it. I'm sorry. Would you like another banana?'
'No. I want MY banana.'
I start typing this blog and a few minutes later Riley ventures in.
'Momma, I don't want breakfast. I just want a nack.' Riley still calls it a nack instead of snack.
Snack can sometimes be code in our house for a healthy option.
'What kind of snack?'
'Popcorn!'
'Sorry sweetie, you need to have something healthy first. We don't eat popcorn for breakfast.'
Much pouting and whining ensues. I keep typing. It gets quiet.
'Momma! I want Shrek!' Said in an almost demanding way, since I wasn't taking his demands for popcorn seriously.
'Okay, I'll put Shrek on.' Riley chose another battle. One he could win. He's stopped asking for popcorn. In about 10 minutes, he'll be ready to eat again and will probably be more amenable to a healthy option. He might even forget all about popcorn, at least until lunch time.
Scooter just wandered out of his bedroom and came to ask me if we were having a party in my office.
'Mom, is Tyler here?'
'No. He's at school.'
'I thought he was eating breakfast. Was that Riley?'
'Yes.'
'What did you tell him 5 bites of?' Guess he was laying in bed listening for a while before getting up.
'A Banana. I told him he had to eat something healthy for breakfast before he had a snack.'
'What snack did he want?' Said with a suspicious air, like it might be something he wanted too and wanted to gauge my response.
'Popcorn'
Big, sly grin from Scooter.
'Popcorn? You can't have popcorn for breakfast!'
Makes sense to me and the four year old who likes popcorn when it's made, but never thinks to ask for it. Not to poor Riley who loves popcorn and would eat it all day.
Some days it's tough being the little guy who doesn't get to make any decisions.
God Bless You and Keep You Today!
'Popcorn? How about breakfast first?'
'Yes, I really love popcorn for breakfast'
'How about something healthy first?'
'Yes, popcorn is healthy'
'No, popcorn is not really healthy. Let's have some healthy breakfast first.'
'Yes, popcorn for breakfast. It's healthy. You got some popcorn!' (Big grocery shopping was on Sunday - I have everything.)
'Sweetie, I know I got popcorn. I don't mind you having popcorn for a snack, but you need to have something healthy first. How about a banana?'
'Okay, ONE bite of banana.'
'A whole banana'
'ONE bite of banana'
'One WHOLE banana'
Riley picks banana. I peel banana. I remind him to eat whole banana. He eats one bite and leaves the remainder on my bedroom floor and then tells me he has done this.
'Okay, I eat ONE bite of banana. Now, I will really love popcorn.'
'Five bites of banana, Riley'
'Noooo-hooo'
I put my foot down. I insist that no popcorn will be made until banana is eaten.
'Momma. I'm really, really mad. We are so mad at each other.'
'I'm sorry you are mad at me Riley. Let me know when you are done being mad at me and you are ready to eat something healthy.'
I make my way back to office and find empty banana peel. It has moved all by itself. Riley is currently pouting on living room floor. I suspect one of two dogs as banana eating culprit and discard peel.
I venture to kitchen to refill coffee. Riley has sensed correctly that I might be serious and is looking for his banana.
'Where is my banana?'
'It's gone. I think one of the dogs ate it.'
'Nooooo. Not fair. I want my banana in the floor.'
'When you leave food in the floor, the dogs eat it. I'm sorry. Would you like another banana?'
'No. I want MY banana.'
I start typing this blog and a few minutes later Riley ventures in.
'Momma, I don't want breakfast. I just want a nack.' Riley still calls it a nack instead of snack.
Snack can sometimes be code in our house for a healthy option.
'What kind of snack?'
'Popcorn!'
'Sorry sweetie, you need to have something healthy first. We don't eat popcorn for breakfast.'
Much pouting and whining ensues. I keep typing. It gets quiet.
'Momma! I want Shrek!' Said in an almost demanding way, since I wasn't taking his demands for popcorn seriously.
'Okay, I'll put Shrek on.' Riley chose another battle. One he could win. He's stopped asking for popcorn. In about 10 minutes, he'll be ready to eat again and will probably be more amenable to a healthy option. He might even forget all about popcorn, at least until lunch time.
Scooter just wandered out of his bedroom and came to ask me if we were having a party in my office.
'Mom, is Tyler here?'
'No. He's at school.'
'I thought he was eating breakfast. Was that Riley?'
'Yes.'
'What did you tell him 5 bites of?' Guess he was laying in bed listening for a while before getting up.
'A Banana. I told him he had to eat something healthy for breakfast before he had a snack.'
'What snack did he want?' Said with a suspicious air, like it might be something he wanted too and wanted to gauge my response.
'Popcorn'
Big, sly grin from Scooter.
'Popcorn? You can't have popcorn for breakfast!'
Makes sense to me and the four year old who likes popcorn when it's made, but never thinks to ask for it. Not to poor Riley who loves popcorn and would eat it all day.
Some days it's tough being the little guy who doesn't get to make any decisions.
God Bless You and Keep You Today!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Riley , the instigator and the conqueror . . .
I can't seem to find an hour these days to sit down and blog, which kind of makes me crazy since it has definitely become a mode for me to process over the past months, but things are so hectic. I worked at a sales conference last week: a spattering of hours over several days, checking people in and directing them to break out sessions and bathrooms, answering inane questions over and over again. I've tried to help out my in-laws with a move, major cleaning and a garage sale. Grocery shopping was way overdue! And in the mean time, I was still trying to process all the information that I am both gathering on my own and being bombarded with regarding the education meltdown and multiple issues facing our family at the moment. Add to the mix a sudden influx of hand-me-down furniture that is requiring yet another round of reorganization and the ever constant job of sorting and clipping coupons to keep me below the grocery budget and time is in short supply. And somewhere in all this mess, I actually found time to take the kids to the park and have a very overdue date night with my husband.
Shew! I had the best of intentions this morning to sit down and spend some serious time catching you up on almost everything before munchkins arose, but instead I spent almost an hour shopping for personalized stationery that is on special for FREE, yes free, today and tomorrow. Had to have it as I love that kind of thing and did I mention it was free?
The list is long today - I need to get busy planning Scooter & Tyler's birthday bash for the end of this month and despite getting bathrooms scrubbed yesterday and some very dusty surfaces cleaned, my floors are begging for a mop and hot water. But what I really want to do is just enjoy my kids, because they deserve it. We hit two little, but significant, milestones in the last 12 hours.
First, Scooter. Scooter takes changes very hard. He doesn't transition well in just about any circumstance. About a week and a half ago, we finally got Scooter and Riley their new beds (thanks to absolutely fabulous friend Mandy's help!) which are bunk beds. Originally, we were going to put Tyler up top and have the two younger kids safely on the ground, but Scooter insisted that he really wanted the top bunk. OK. Problem is - every time we switch a sleeping arrangement, Scooter takes a very long time to readjust and get back to wherever he was before on the spectrum of going to bed on his own and falling asleep without assistance. And it was a bunk bed! Riley has had an adjustment period too, but nothing like Scooter. He wanted to wake up in his bed, sleep there overnight, but not fall asleep in the bed. He would start there, make several trips out for kisses and sips of water and eventually would break down crying and end up drifting off in my bed or on the couch. Sigh.
I really estimated it could take a month or two to make this work. But, the night before last he decided to sleep with Riley on the bottom bunk. I had to sit with both of them while they fell asleep, but it was an accomplishment because it was the first time Scooter had fallen asleep in his own room in over a week. It looked like last night was going to be a repeat performance. I got an unexpected boost of help though, from Riley.
Riley loves the top bunk and has even mastered the art of turning around and planting his feet on the ladder without tumbling to the ground. He would play up there all day long if we let him. Since I really don't need to start taking something like Valium every hour to keep me calm though, we insist that someone be in the room with him when he decides to go up top. He knows the rule and obeys it consistently which is keeping me from having to remove the ladder during the day and put it up on the top bunk, thankfully.
He would sleep up there if he could though and on the second night the bed was in his room, he moaned repeatedly to his dad that he 'never ever got to sleep up there' like it was an injustice that had been occurring for all of his 3 short years on this earth. Actually, to save myself the time of explanation to him over and over again, I would probably let it happen if it wasn't for the fact that Riley is a night wanderer. The thought of him trying to find the ladder and get down in the dark of night with no one aware makes me cringe, so he's gonna wait a couple of years for that particular pleasure.
Riley thinks the chance is imminent though and he is also proving to be pretty determined in finding solutions to his ever-present littlest brother challenges. Last night when he was faced with the prospect of his brother cramming into his twin sized bed with him again, it occurred to him that if Scooter slept down, no one would be up. It was a definite 'Aha!' moment for Riley. He announced that he was going to sleep up there. He started climbing the ladder. Of course, Scott and I were not going to actually let this happen, but Scooter forgot that. Scooter thought his little brother was going to take his bed and that was not acceptable to him. Up he went. I offered to lay down with him if he would stay put and sleep there. He agreed. (I had tried this during the first couple of nights, but Scooter would abandon me and I have lost count of the times I hit my head on the ceiling.) I climbed the ladder and lay down. Twenty minutes later, with a few interruptions for potty breaks and searches for just the right stuffed sleeping buddy, Scooter fell asleep. In his new bed. Yay! That might not seem like such a big deal to some of you out there, but for Scooter to make that kind of a transition in under 2 weeks is a real accomplishment around here. Now I can work on him falling asleep without me up there, but this is a HUGE first step.
Our other little milestone was all Riley. After having already left my brood twice to run small errands we discovered just before bedtime that Riley was completely out of pull-ups. Riley is at the stage of potty training that he wears underwear all day, but a pull-up at night. When Scooter was at this stage, we eventually left him in underwear and had him sleep on an under-pad over his sheet so he could learn to get up if he needed, etc. Riley doesn't like to sleep on them and still wakes up with a wet pull-up almost every morning. I have been stalling on finding a solution for this conundrum even though I know I need to take care of it soon. So, pull-ups for the moment. Which we were out of. (I realize, yes, that if I was a bit more organized I would have already bought the things when grocery shopping or on my 2 errands last night. Oops, I'm not that organized.)
Bed time was late last night and I had already been out twice. I wasn't making a diaper run. This has happened before. Usually, we just double up on the underwear, try to slide an under-pad under Riley after he's asleep, and assume we will be changing sheets in the morning. I told Riley it would be really great if he didn't wet the bed. He said okay, but really, I wasn't expecting much. He wouldn't let me double up the underwear. I forgot about the under-pad. Extra laundry here we go.
Riley wandered into my office this morning mid shopping spree and I hugged and kissed him. Told him good morning. I turned back to my computer while he hunkered down with the cube puzzle he has been working relentlessly for the last 2 days. Then I remembered. Oh yeah - the underwear. 'Riley, do we need to change you?' 'No.' 'Are you wet sweetie? Remember, no pull-up?' 'No.' 'You're dry?' 'Yes.' 'Really? Let me see! You're dry!' 'Yes!' I wish you could here how Riley says 'yes' because it adds so much to this moment. He has this almost secretive smile and a proud lilt to his voice and he draws out the 's' like 'Yesssss'. He was dry, dry, dry. He ran off to the bathroom for a morning pee and I sat there beaming.
I beamed for a good 5 minutes. Then I realized that I was now going to have to figure out if he was really ready for the pull-up break or if this was a fluke thing. Time to stop procrastinating and finish this potty training thing once and for all, even if it means washing sheets every day for the next 2 months. Ahhhh, motherhood. Not for the faint of heart, or the squeamish.
Anyway, Riley was inadvertently responsible for 2 really great moments this week. Not to take away from Scooter's accomplishment - that was awesome, but it was spurred forward by Riley's adventurous spirit. Regardless, they both deserve some extra mommy time today and the floors might just have to wait to be mopped until Thursday.
Thanks and God Bless!
Shew! I had the best of intentions this morning to sit down and spend some serious time catching you up on almost everything before munchkins arose, but instead I spent almost an hour shopping for personalized stationery that is on special for FREE, yes free, today and tomorrow. Had to have it as I love that kind of thing and did I mention it was free?
The list is long today - I need to get busy planning Scooter & Tyler's birthday bash for the end of this month and despite getting bathrooms scrubbed yesterday and some very dusty surfaces cleaned, my floors are begging for a mop and hot water. But what I really want to do is just enjoy my kids, because they deserve it. We hit two little, but significant, milestones in the last 12 hours.
First, Scooter. Scooter takes changes very hard. He doesn't transition well in just about any circumstance. About a week and a half ago, we finally got Scooter and Riley their new beds (thanks to absolutely fabulous friend Mandy's help!) which are bunk beds. Originally, we were going to put Tyler up top and have the two younger kids safely on the ground, but Scooter insisted that he really wanted the top bunk. OK. Problem is - every time we switch a sleeping arrangement, Scooter takes a very long time to readjust and get back to wherever he was before on the spectrum of going to bed on his own and falling asleep without assistance. And it was a bunk bed! Riley has had an adjustment period too, but nothing like Scooter. He wanted to wake up in his bed, sleep there overnight, but not fall asleep in the bed. He would start there, make several trips out for kisses and sips of water and eventually would break down crying and end up drifting off in my bed or on the couch. Sigh.
I really estimated it could take a month or two to make this work. But, the night before last he decided to sleep with Riley on the bottom bunk. I had to sit with both of them while they fell asleep, but it was an accomplishment because it was the first time Scooter had fallen asleep in his own room in over a week. It looked like last night was going to be a repeat performance. I got an unexpected boost of help though, from Riley.
Riley loves the top bunk and has even mastered the art of turning around and planting his feet on the ladder without tumbling to the ground. He would play up there all day long if we let him. Since I really don't need to start taking something like Valium every hour to keep me calm though, we insist that someone be in the room with him when he decides to go up top. He knows the rule and obeys it consistently which is keeping me from having to remove the ladder during the day and put it up on the top bunk, thankfully.
He would sleep up there if he could though and on the second night the bed was in his room, he moaned repeatedly to his dad that he 'never ever got to sleep up there' like it was an injustice that had been occurring for all of his 3 short years on this earth. Actually, to save myself the time of explanation to him over and over again, I would probably let it happen if it wasn't for the fact that Riley is a night wanderer. The thought of him trying to find the ladder and get down in the dark of night with no one aware makes me cringe, so he's gonna wait a couple of years for that particular pleasure.
Riley thinks the chance is imminent though and he is also proving to be pretty determined in finding solutions to his ever-present littlest brother challenges. Last night when he was faced with the prospect of his brother cramming into his twin sized bed with him again, it occurred to him that if Scooter slept down, no one would be up. It was a definite 'Aha!' moment for Riley. He announced that he was going to sleep up there. He started climbing the ladder. Of course, Scott and I were not going to actually let this happen, but Scooter forgot that. Scooter thought his little brother was going to take his bed and that was not acceptable to him. Up he went. I offered to lay down with him if he would stay put and sleep there. He agreed. (I had tried this during the first couple of nights, but Scooter would abandon me and I have lost count of the times I hit my head on the ceiling.) I climbed the ladder and lay down. Twenty minutes later, with a few interruptions for potty breaks and searches for just the right stuffed sleeping buddy, Scooter fell asleep. In his new bed. Yay! That might not seem like such a big deal to some of you out there, but for Scooter to make that kind of a transition in under 2 weeks is a real accomplishment around here. Now I can work on him falling asleep without me up there, but this is a HUGE first step.
Our other little milestone was all Riley. After having already left my brood twice to run small errands we discovered just before bedtime that Riley was completely out of pull-ups. Riley is at the stage of potty training that he wears underwear all day, but a pull-up at night. When Scooter was at this stage, we eventually left him in underwear and had him sleep on an under-pad over his sheet so he could learn to get up if he needed, etc. Riley doesn't like to sleep on them and still wakes up with a wet pull-up almost every morning. I have been stalling on finding a solution for this conundrum even though I know I need to take care of it soon. So, pull-ups for the moment. Which we were out of. (I realize, yes, that if I was a bit more organized I would have already bought the things when grocery shopping or on my 2 errands last night. Oops, I'm not that organized.)
Bed time was late last night and I had already been out twice. I wasn't making a diaper run. This has happened before. Usually, we just double up on the underwear, try to slide an under-pad under Riley after he's asleep, and assume we will be changing sheets in the morning. I told Riley it would be really great if he didn't wet the bed. He said okay, but really, I wasn't expecting much. He wouldn't let me double up the underwear. I forgot about the under-pad. Extra laundry here we go.
Riley wandered into my office this morning mid shopping spree and I hugged and kissed him. Told him good morning. I turned back to my computer while he hunkered down with the cube puzzle he has been working relentlessly for the last 2 days. Then I remembered. Oh yeah - the underwear. 'Riley, do we need to change you?' 'No.' 'Are you wet sweetie? Remember, no pull-up?' 'No.' 'You're dry?' 'Yes.' 'Really? Let me see! You're dry!' 'Yes!' I wish you could here how Riley says 'yes' because it adds so much to this moment. He has this almost secretive smile and a proud lilt to his voice and he draws out the 's' like 'Yesssss'. He was dry, dry, dry. He ran off to the bathroom for a morning pee and I sat there beaming.
I beamed for a good 5 minutes. Then I realized that I was now going to have to figure out if he was really ready for the pull-up break or if this was a fluke thing. Time to stop procrastinating and finish this potty training thing once and for all, even if it means washing sheets every day for the next 2 months. Ahhhh, motherhood. Not for the faint of heart, or the squeamish.
Anyway, Riley was inadvertently responsible for 2 really great moments this week. Not to take away from Scooter's accomplishment - that was awesome, but it was spurred forward by Riley's adventurous spirit. Regardless, they both deserve some extra mommy time today and the floors might just have to wait to be mopped until Thursday.
Thanks and God Bless!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
This week, I am just crazy . . .
I am feeling overwhelmed this week. How is it that I have so much to do and so little time? Where's it going? Too little time to sit and reflect on what's going on in life because it's all happening too fast! So here's a brief rundown of what is weighing on my mind today. Maybe sharing the bare bones with you will lift some of the stress and I can move on to deal with the next crisis or question waiting in the wings.
1 - Questions, questions, questions. I need answers to questions that I haven't even figured out how to ask yet. I realize that sounds a little nutty. Here's the thing - there's 'stuff' going on with Scooter. Well, not new stuff - the same stuff I have been dealing with since he was born, just more pronounced stuff. And there may be an answer to WHY out there and there may be a solution to help him. But I am feeling overwhelmed and confused with all the information and how fast things are changing and at the moment I am feeling like everything is just going too quickly. I realize that this is a paragraph about nothing right now, and you likely think I am crazy. I'm not hiding anything from you, I am just not ready to share yet because I still feel so scatterbrained about the whole thing. So I am reading and researching and spending hours on the phone trying to get some help to get us help. And I am feeling really lost. Being an advocate for your child sometimes is extremely challenging, even before you have to start thinking outside of the box. However, I am definitely feeling like things are too fast and need to slow down. Today, I am going to focus on the fact that Scooter is still Scooter. Just because I might have a name for what is going on with him does not mean that I have to throw our entire family and all of our resources into an immediate and overwhelming situation to deal with what we know now, today. Scooter will still be Scooter tomorrow.
2. OK - I realize it's everyone's problem, not just mine, but I don't think everyone realizes that it's their problem. Public School in Texas is in REAL trouble. Serious trouble. The kind of trouble that can set us back almost a century trouble. This budget shortfall you hear about on TV is going to have an effect on every single school district in Texas and if you haven't checked out how it will affect yours, go look at the CBS Dallas website at the cool little map they have going on there. You can click your mouse on your district and find out just how much money they are going to be shorted by the state and what the percentage of their budget that is. Richardson is going to have one of the worst 'percentage of spending' hits in the immediate area. Literally thousands upon thousands of teachers are going to lose their jobs in the coming months because there will be no money to pay for them - as if our economy can take more unemployed people flooding the job search. Class sizes are going to increase by ridiculous numbers and special programs are going away. Even the programs that you don't know are out there, helping your child every day, will be gone. Music, Art, Drama - don't expect those things to be part of your child's curriculum next fall in any significant way. At one point we were being told only 'special' programs will be at risk. That's alarming enough - the only thing that challenges my child this year at school besides trying to stay awake through the boredom of his regular classes is getting to go to the 'special' program he has one day per week that makes him use his higher order thinking skills. If that program goes away and teachers don't have the time to try and challenge him more in his classes because they are too busy with the extra 15 kids in the room, he is going to get lost in the shuffle. That's scary. And now I heard a Fort Worth school offical say last night that it isn't just the 'extra' stuff that will go away, but programs for 'at risk' kids too. Since I just found out that Scooter might be going into Kindergarten in one of these grey areas, I am even more concerned. There is a 'rainy day' fund out there that legislators can use in an emergency and I believe they will be forced to dip into it for at least some of this shortage by outraged voters, but I am not convinced that it will solve the entire problem. I think they will dip just enough to appease the general population a tiny bit, save a couple of programs like special education and probably football (it is Texas, the only sports I heard cut so far were 8th grade soccer and power lifting in one district, ironically 'tutoring' was on the top of that districts cut list as well). But I also think that it won't be enough and it will only be for this year. It's time to rethink the education of our children. We rely far too heavily these days on what we think the state is supposed to provide for our kids and forget that at the end of the day it is actually OUR responsibility to make sure our children are educated. It might not be good enough anymore to put them on a bus and send them off for the day. Homeschooling might deserve a revisit. Or school co-oping of some kind. The one room schoolhouse might have to make a comeback in neighborhoods all over the country. Call me crazy if you want, but I am literally frightened of the situation. And you should be too! It's not just my kids I am worried about either, it's the teachers. I have so many friends and family that are educators and this is scary. Thankfully, most of my loved ones have been in their districts for quite a while which might protect their jobs, but not all of them. My neighbor's daughter is only finishing her 2nd year of full time teaching and a good friend of mine has only a part time contract for the first year in her new district. These are people who might end up on the first lists of cuts. I can't stop thinking about all of this and it might just lead me to my very first letter or email to my congressman or senator ever. Of course, that means I have to figure out who those people are (Isn't that sad? When I lived in Rockwall, I knew, but now that I reside in Dallas County, I don't have a clue who to contact for what!!!)
3. My house is calling my name. Insert smile. I have truly enjoyed the break from construction and remodeling over the last couple of months. It was needed, not just by my body and wallet, but also my brain. I couldn't even think about what was next on the list for a while, but that period of respite is coming to an end. In a way, I've already begun by having new gutters installed in the back and tackling the energy-leaking attirbutes of our home. But the cracks are beckoning to me to be fixed in the main rooms of my house and I have started to crave both the aesthetic fixes that need to be done as well as the physical labor of the job. I am almost there. I have almost completed my beginning of the year bookkeeping obligations. Hmmm, sort of almost. Actually, when I think of it I know I have a couple more weeks of work on that stuff too, but maybe if I can get the more pressing of those out of the way then I can 'double up'. Once I get into March I think I can devote one full day per week to the numbers and another full day of the week to power tools. I hope so anyway, I sure would like to see tile on my kitchen floor before summer rolls around.
You would think that I had plenty of time to do all that I wanted and more without a job to run out of the house for every morning. I know that when I worked all day at a desk, all I wanted to do was come home and lay on the couch and watch tv for a couple hours. And I do get lots more done around here than I used to. The problem is that the list keeps growing instead of getting shorter. For every item I cross off, 5 more get added on. I feel like there are still tons of things I want to get done in a day and there just isn't enough time. And the funny thing is, some days I still just wish I could lay down on the couch and watch tv for a couple hours. So how do I make it work? I already have to put entire sections of my life on hold for a day to make other priorities happen. How can I add in advocating for a child that might need special attention? How can I even consider throwing homeschooling into the mix? Do I have time to attack the insurance companies that I currently think are idiots as well? Do I have time to start a letter writing campaign to the governor? I wanted to join a gym next month. I wanted to finish the cross stitch project I started for Riley last summer. Actually, I was thinking of buying a sewing machine and teaching myself how to make curtains too, but I think that one has to be parked on the back burner until I finish rebuilding my walls. How am I going to do it all? There are not enough minutes in the day.
Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. I know I will figure all this out and I know that some of my 'stuff' will fall away while I reprioritize and hone in on what's most important for this family. It's just that this week I am overwhelmed. This week there are too many thoughts and worries running around my head. This week I can't seem to focus and remember that it will all work itself out. This week, I am just crazy.
Thanks and God Bless!
1 - Questions, questions, questions. I need answers to questions that I haven't even figured out how to ask yet. I realize that sounds a little nutty. Here's the thing - there's 'stuff' going on with Scooter. Well, not new stuff - the same stuff I have been dealing with since he was born, just more pronounced stuff. And there may be an answer to WHY out there and there may be a solution to help him. But I am feeling overwhelmed and confused with all the information and how fast things are changing and at the moment I am feeling like everything is just going too quickly. I realize that this is a paragraph about nothing right now, and you likely think I am crazy. I'm not hiding anything from you, I am just not ready to share yet because I still feel so scatterbrained about the whole thing. So I am reading and researching and spending hours on the phone trying to get some help to get us help. And I am feeling really lost. Being an advocate for your child sometimes is extremely challenging, even before you have to start thinking outside of the box. However, I am definitely feeling like things are too fast and need to slow down. Today, I am going to focus on the fact that Scooter is still Scooter. Just because I might have a name for what is going on with him does not mean that I have to throw our entire family and all of our resources into an immediate and overwhelming situation to deal with what we know now, today. Scooter will still be Scooter tomorrow.
2. OK - I realize it's everyone's problem, not just mine, but I don't think everyone realizes that it's their problem. Public School in Texas is in REAL trouble. Serious trouble. The kind of trouble that can set us back almost a century trouble. This budget shortfall you hear about on TV is going to have an effect on every single school district in Texas and if you haven't checked out how it will affect yours, go look at the CBS Dallas website at the cool little map they have going on there. You can click your mouse on your district and find out just how much money they are going to be shorted by the state and what the percentage of their budget that is. Richardson is going to have one of the worst 'percentage of spending' hits in the immediate area. Literally thousands upon thousands of teachers are going to lose their jobs in the coming months because there will be no money to pay for them - as if our economy can take more unemployed people flooding the job search. Class sizes are going to increase by ridiculous numbers and special programs are going away. Even the programs that you don't know are out there, helping your child every day, will be gone. Music, Art, Drama - don't expect those things to be part of your child's curriculum next fall in any significant way. At one point we were being told only 'special' programs will be at risk. That's alarming enough - the only thing that challenges my child this year at school besides trying to stay awake through the boredom of his regular classes is getting to go to the 'special' program he has one day per week that makes him use his higher order thinking skills. If that program goes away and teachers don't have the time to try and challenge him more in his classes because they are too busy with the extra 15 kids in the room, he is going to get lost in the shuffle. That's scary. And now I heard a Fort Worth school offical say last night that it isn't just the 'extra' stuff that will go away, but programs for 'at risk' kids too. Since I just found out that Scooter might be going into Kindergarten in one of these grey areas, I am even more concerned. There is a 'rainy day' fund out there that legislators can use in an emergency and I believe they will be forced to dip into it for at least some of this shortage by outraged voters, but I am not convinced that it will solve the entire problem. I think they will dip just enough to appease the general population a tiny bit, save a couple of programs like special education and probably football (it is Texas, the only sports I heard cut so far were 8th grade soccer and power lifting in one district, ironically 'tutoring' was on the top of that districts cut list as well). But I also think that it won't be enough and it will only be for this year. It's time to rethink the education of our children. We rely far too heavily these days on what we think the state is supposed to provide for our kids and forget that at the end of the day it is actually OUR responsibility to make sure our children are educated. It might not be good enough anymore to put them on a bus and send them off for the day. Homeschooling might deserve a revisit. Or school co-oping of some kind. The one room schoolhouse might have to make a comeback in neighborhoods all over the country. Call me crazy if you want, but I am literally frightened of the situation. And you should be too! It's not just my kids I am worried about either, it's the teachers. I have so many friends and family that are educators and this is scary. Thankfully, most of my loved ones have been in their districts for quite a while which might protect their jobs, but not all of them. My neighbor's daughter is only finishing her 2nd year of full time teaching and a good friend of mine has only a part time contract for the first year in her new district. These are people who might end up on the first lists of cuts. I can't stop thinking about all of this and it might just lead me to my very first letter or email to my congressman or senator ever. Of course, that means I have to figure out who those people are (Isn't that sad? When I lived in Rockwall, I knew, but now that I reside in Dallas County, I don't have a clue who to contact for what!!!)
3. My house is calling my name. Insert smile. I have truly enjoyed the break from construction and remodeling over the last couple of months. It was needed, not just by my body and wallet, but also my brain. I couldn't even think about what was next on the list for a while, but that period of respite is coming to an end. In a way, I've already begun by having new gutters installed in the back and tackling the energy-leaking attirbutes of our home. But the cracks are beckoning to me to be fixed in the main rooms of my house and I have started to crave both the aesthetic fixes that need to be done as well as the physical labor of the job. I am almost there. I have almost completed my beginning of the year bookkeeping obligations. Hmmm, sort of almost. Actually, when I think of it I know I have a couple more weeks of work on that stuff too, but maybe if I can get the more pressing of those out of the way then I can 'double up'. Once I get into March I think I can devote one full day per week to the numbers and another full day of the week to power tools. I hope so anyway, I sure would like to see tile on my kitchen floor before summer rolls around.
You would think that I had plenty of time to do all that I wanted and more without a job to run out of the house for every morning. I know that when I worked all day at a desk, all I wanted to do was come home and lay on the couch and watch tv for a couple hours. And I do get lots more done around here than I used to. The problem is that the list keeps growing instead of getting shorter. For every item I cross off, 5 more get added on. I feel like there are still tons of things I want to get done in a day and there just isn't enough time. And the funny thing is, some days I still just wish I could lay down on the couch and watch tv for a couple hours. So how do I make it work? I already have to put entire sections of my life on hold for a day to make other priorities happen. How can I add in advocating for a child that might need special attention? How can I even consider throwing homeschooling into the mix? Do I have time to attack the insurance companies that I currently think are idiots as well? Do I have time to start a letter writing campaign to the governor? I wanted to join a gym next month. I wanted to finish the cross stitch project I started for Riley last summer. Actually, I was thinking of buying a sewing machine and teaching myself how to make curtains too, but I think that one has to be parked on the back burner until I finish rebuilding my walls. How am I going to do it all? There are not enough minutes in the day.
Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. I know I will figure all this out and I know that some of my 'stuff' will fall away while I reprioritize and hone in on what's most important for this family. It's just that this week I am overwhelmed. This week there are too many thoughts and worries running around my head. This week I can't seem to focus and remember that it will all work itself out. This week, I am just crazy.
Thanks and God Bless!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Career: 1950's housewife????
I grew up in a home where my mom was home every day, so did my husband. I don't think either one of us would ever say that our moms didn't work though. Scott's mom is a Real Estate Broker and my mom kept kids in our home every day for extra income, but on top of that - it seems looking back that neither one of these women ever stopped. Yes, I remember down time and fun time and mom taking an hour during babysitting kids nap times to watch As The World Turns. But, really - it seems like there was always something to clean or cook or wash or do - or to prod us to help her to do. I empathize a lot more with what my mom was doing for us and teaching us now that I am trying to do it for my own family. Geesh - it's a job. It's a great job, but it's a job.
I like to think though, that I am an evolved, modern housewife and homemaker and I am sure that there is a part of my over-confident, modern brain that makes me think that this is better in some way to how it was 'in the old days'. You know - before tv and the internet. How my Grandmothers did it. Right? Because I am choosing to do it, I don't HAVE to do it. Which is warped, because even if I was working a full time job I would still be doing 90% of what I do now, just on a tighter schedule and probably fueled by more wine and attitude. In fact, I know that's true because it wasn't long ago that I was in that place for just over a year. The truth is - I am one of those people who loves women's lib because it has given me every opportunity to do whatever I want, but I secretly loathe it because it sometimes makes me feel guilty that what I WANT is to be a homemaker. Just a homemaker. Just - that's the word that women's lib gave us for this job. We didn't have the 'just' part before. Like it's 'less' in some way. Which of course is stupid, because if you are lucky enough to be in shoes even slightly similar to mine, you know that it is so much more than less.
The truth is - my home is a much happier place with me in it all day. Sounds egotistical right? It's not. Everyone is happier, trust me. We are all calmer, more sane, more well-adjusted, more spiritually and emotionally fed. This works for us and I know that the reason it works for us is because I love it so much. Even on the days it feels thankless and boring and tedious, I still love it. So, where am I going with this? Not sure - just rambling. :) Bear with me.
Actually, I feel like I have this huge epiphany coming. I feel on the verge of enormous change. Not lifestyle change or hairstyle change or anything like that. But, emotional and spiritual change and I don't know yet where it's leading. Here's the thing - I've got several different things going on with my lately that are working on me and in me and at the very least contributing to some serious attitude changes. And most of this you probably don't care about and that's fine, but I wanted to share one huge part of all of this with you because it's kind of creeping me out that I am not running screaming from it.
Sometimes when I am annoyed at my husband for not loading his dishes in the dishwasher or something inane like that, I find myself for no apparent reason spouting off a comment similar to: 'this is not 1955 and I am not a 1950's housewife here to do every little thing you command'. Now - Scotty doesn't act like a 1950's husband and I don't really know where this idea or comment really comes from. I don't usually obsess about it or anything, it must have been brainwashed into me at some point by liberal feminists or something. That's all I can come up with. But, it shows up unexpectedly sometimes and then I have to come back and apologize for outburst and thank husband for the help he does give me and be humble, humble, humble for my rudeness. I will say that the longer we are married, the less this comes up. I think I came into my marriage with a subconscious fear that I would be demeaned in some way even though Scott had never demeaned me before and I was not influenced by demeaning marriages in any way. Don't have a clue where this comes from!!! But, obviously I've been working through it.
So, imagine my surprise the other day when one of the blogs I have been reading made a reference to a few older posts that I checked out and then found a clip where this woman had been on Rachael Ray a couple years ago about being a modern day 1950's housewife. What???? Oh yeah - I watched it. Here it is so you can watch it too, but it's almost 10 minutes so make sure you have the time: (I can't make my link thing work today so you'll have to copy and paste in another window to look at it, sorry)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEuaRzCiCh0&feature=related
Now, there are things in this that I just could never do - like not having my husband ever do a diaper or a bath because I believe those are bonding moments so even if I had some warped desire to work myself into a grave, I would think it was important for him to partake. But there are things about this clip that give me pause. Like looking good for my hubby. Since I don't work, I would say that I do the makeup and hair thing maybe once a week. After watching this, I feel like I should rethink that a little. And totally - the not grumbling at him as soon as he walks in the door, looking happy to see him. I am happy he's home, but do I always show it? Maybe not. And maybe I have a few too many days that I spend time being lazy around here when I could probably get more done. Of course, I'm still suffering winter doldrums from our recent ice storm - is that a good excuse?
There are 2 things that stick with me about this clip though. First - the stuff she says about influence. This is so true! We have influence over our entire family. The whole home takes their cues from us as moms and how we are coping with everything. This is true of all moms, whether you work or not, so how happy you are with your life is CRUCIAL to how happy your family is. Work outside the home or not, just do what makes you happy so that your whole family is INFLUENCED by that happiness. Our family is better with me home because I am a happier, calmer, more peaceful person because it is what I want to do more than anything in this world and I GET to do it. Yay! Praise the Lord!
The second is that she says this is her career and she chose it. Whoa. Yeah. I call it a job, but it's not. It's a career and it is more important and more influential than any other career I could have ever chosen. I need to remind myself of that every day when I start groaning and thinking about what I should make for dinner or I am postponing cleaning the toilets.
I have a lot of respect for this woman which is why I read her blog. In addition to all she says here, she sometimes posts about things like increasing intimacy in your marriage or encouraging your child's faith. She home schools her two children and I just found out she uses the curriculum I had been looking into this year that is linked to public schools and virtual classrooms. And it is through her site that I found the 'Good Morning Girls' and began a daily Bible Study in James last month that has me focusing a lot on listening more, favoring less and looking into removing some of the 'moral filth' in our lives. This is one of the other key things that is really working on me right now.
The third thing is that it seems everywhere I look right now, I see some kind of reference to the Proverbs 31 woman. Honestly, through my entire life of going to church and Bible study I somehow missed all the hub-bub about this woman until a couple of years ago. Then the first time I read it as an adult, I slammed the Bible shut so fast the walls shook. It kind of freaked me out. I was so not ready for that kind of image of what God said a 'Wife of Noble Character' looked like. Have you read it? Some of it seems strange until you study it, but it'll get you thinking. In fact, it can make you think sometimes that feminists from way back might have been working on an image of woman that was a direct antithesis to this very woman. But let me be very clear here - there is nothing in it that suggests woman should be submissive or demeaned by her husband - only that she should lift him up with respect for what he does as husband, just as she is lifted up for what she does as wife.
Anyway, I think God has been working on me slowly in the Proverbs 31 Wife area for a while and I may just be ready to study and learn more since I can't seem to avoid it right now. Is what we think of as a 1950's housewife in keeping with a Proverbs 31 woman? There are probably a lot of similarities. And where do I fit in? Where do I want to fit in? Where is God leading me with all this? I don't know, but I am very excited about the possibilities. It's actually the first time in a long time that I can FEEL God pushing me towards a path he has set out for me. I felt lost and confused about where we were going together for a very long time and trusting that it would be for the best has not always been easy for me. But, it's about to pay off! I can feel it. God has big plans for me, I just don't know what they are yet. I do know that they have something to do with me taking care of my family though, and most especially my husband. I know that they are about glorifying Him in our home and our lives.
Anyway - I know I have readers who don't share my belief system and I would like to say I'm sorry if this one made you uncomfortable, but I am soooo not sorry. I am who I am, and I believe what I believe. And if you don't know that God is ever present in our lives on a daily basis - you should! He loves you and wants to be close to you and have you follow Him! I won't apologize for that. Maybe for the 1950's wife thing though - if it isn't your cup of tea, I am sorry I made you watch it.
Love and God Bless!
I like to think though, that I am an evolved, modern housewife and homemaker and I am sure that there is a part of my over-confident, modern brain that makes me think that this is better in some way to how it was 'in the old days'. You know - before tv and the internet. How my Grandmothers did it. Right? Because I am choosing to do it, I don't HAVE to do it. Which is warped, because even if I was working a full time job I would still be doing 90% of what I do now, just on a tighter schedule and probably fueled by more wine and attitude. In fact, I know that's true because it wasn't long ago that I was in that place for just over a year. The truth is - I am one of those people who loves women's lib because it has given me every opportunity to do whatever I want, but I secretly loathe it because it sometimes makes me feel guilty that what I WANT is to be a homemaker. Just a homemaker. Just - that's the word that women's lib gave us for this job. We didn't have the 'just' part before. Like it's 'less' in some way. Which of course is stupid, because if you are lucky enough to be in shoes even slightly similar to mine, you know that it is so much more than less.
The truth is - my home is a much happier place with me in it all day. Sounds egotistical right? It's not. Everyone is happier, trust me. We are all calmer, more sane, more well-adjusted, more spiritually and emotionally fed. This works for us and I know that the reason it works for us is because I love it so much. Even on the days it feels thankless and boring and tedious, I still love it. So, where am I going with this? Not sure - just rambling. :) Bear with me.
Actually, I feel like I have this huge epiphany coming. I feel on the verge of enormous change. Not lifestyle change or hairstyle change or anything like that. But, emotional and spiritual change and I don't know yet where it's leading. Here's the thing - I've got several different things going on with my lately that are working on me and in me and at the very least contributing to some serious attitude changes. And most of this you probably don't care about and that's fine, but I wanted to share one huge part of all of this with you because it's kind of creeping me out that I am not running screaming from it.
Sometimes when I am annoyed at my husband for not loading his dishes in the dishwasher or something inane like that, I find myself for no apparent reason spouting off a comment similar to: 'this is not 1955 and I am not a 1950's housewife here to do every little thing you command'. Now - Scotty doesn't act like a 1950's husband and I don't really know where this idea or comment really comes from. I don't usually obsess about it or anything, it must have been brainwashed into me at some point by liberal feminists or something. That's all I can come up with. But, it shows up unexpectedly sometimes and then I have to come back and apologize for outburst and thank husband for the help he does give me and be humble, humble, humble for my rudeness. I will say that the longer we are married, the less this comes up. I think I came into my marriage with a subconscious fear that I would be demeaned in some way even though Scott had never demeaned me before and I was not influenced by demeaning marriages in any way. Don't have a clue where this comes from!!! But, obviously I've been working through it.
So, imagine my surprise the other day when one of the blogs I have been reading made a reference to a few older posts that I checked out and then found a clip where this woman had been on Rachael Ray a couple years ago about being a modern day 1950's housewife. What???? Oh yeah - I watched it. Here it is so you can watch it too, but it's almost 10 minutes so make sure you have the time: (I can't make my link thing work today so you'll have to copy and paste in another window to look at it, sorry)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEuaRzCiCh0&feature=related
Now, there are things in this that I just could never do - like not having my husband ever do a diaper or a bath because I believe those are bonding moments so even if I had some warped desire to work myself into a grave, I would think it was important for him to partake. But there are things about this clip that give me pause. Like looking good for my hubby. Since I don't work, I would say that I do the makeup and hair thing maybe once a week. After watching this, I feel like I should rethink that a little. And totally - the not grumbling at him as soon as he walks in the door, looking happy to see him. I am happy he's home, but do I always show it? Maybe not. And maybe I have a few too many days that I spend time being lazy around here when I could probably get more done. Of course, I'm still suffering winter doldrums from our recent ice storm - is that a good excuse?
There are 2 things that stick with me about this clip though. First - the stuff she says about influence. This is so true! We have influence over our entire family. The whole home takes their cues from us as moms and how we are coping with everything. This is true of all moms, whether you work or not, so how happy you are with your life is CRUCIAL to how happy your family is. Work outside the home or not, just do what makes you happy so that your whole family is INFLUENCED by that happiness. Our family is better with me home because I am a happier, calmer, more peaceful person because it is what I want to do more than anything in this world and I GET to do it. Yay! Praise the Lord!
The second is that she says this is her career and she chose it. Whoa. Yeah. I call it a job, but it's not. It's a career and it is more important and more influential than any other career I could have ever chosen. I need to remind myself of that every day when I start groaning and thinking about what I should make for dinner or I am postponing cleaning the toilets.
I have a lot of respect for this woman which is why I read her blog. In addition to all she says here, she sometimes posts about things like increasing intimacy in your marriage or encouraging your child's faith. She home schools her two children and I just found out she uses the curriculum I had been looking into this year that is linked to public schools and virtual classrooms. And it is through her site that I found the 'Good Morning Girls' and began a daily Bible Study in James last month that has me focusing a lot on listening more, favoring less and looking into removing some of the 'moral filth' in our lives. This is one of the other key things that is really working on me right now.
The third thing is that it seems everywhere I look right now, I see some kind of reference to the Proverbs 31 woman. Honestly, through my entire life of going to church and Bible study I somehow missed all the hub-bub about this woman until a couple of years ago. Then the first time I read it as an adult, I slammed the Bible shut so fast the walls shook. It kind of freaked me out. I was so not ready for that kind of image of what God said a 'Wife of Noble Character' looked like. Have you read it? Some of it seems strange until you study it, but it'll get you thinking. In fact, it can make you think sometimes that feminists from way back might have been working on an image of woman that was a direct antithesis to this very woman. But let me be very clear here - there is nothing in it that suggests woman should be submissive or demeaned by her husband - only that she should lift him up with respect for what he does as husband, just as she is lifted up for what she does as wife.
Anyway, I think God has been working on me slowly in the Proverbs 31 Wife area for a while and I may just be ready to study and learn more since I can't seem to avoid it right now. Is what we think of as a 1950's housewife in keeping with a Proverbs 31 woman? There are probably a lot of similarities. And where do I fit in? Where do I want to fit in? Where is God leading me with all this? I don't know, but I am very excited about the possibilities. It's actually the first time in a long time that I can FEEL God pushing me towards a path he has set out for me. I felt lost and confused about where we were going together for a very long time and trusting that it would be for the best has not always been easy for me. But, it's about to pay off! I can feel it. God has big plans for me, I just don't know what they are yet. I do know that they have something to do with me taking care of my family though, and most especially my husband. I know that they are about glorifying Him in our home and our lives.
Anyway - I know I have readers who don't share my belief system and I would like to say I'm sorry if this one made you uncomfortable, but I am soooo not sorry. I am who I am, and I believe what I believe. And if you don't know that God is ever present in our lives on a daily basis - you should! He loves you and wants to be close to you and have you follow Him! I won't apologize for that. Maybe for the 1950's wife thing though - if it isn't your cup of tea, I am sorry I made you watch it.
Love and God Bless!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Wasn't it just New Year's yesterday???? . . .
Where the heck is February going? Really? When last I left you, there was some white stuff on the ground that closed schools and my hubby's work - for 4 days. Well, Scott worked one day and already had a vacation day scheduled in there, but SERIOUSLY!!!! Everyone was home. Stuck in the house. Going nowhere. Not even the pets. The temperature lingered in the 10-20 degree range and we all just hibernated. And what really happened was: nothing. I mean, NOTHING. My brain stopped functioning at full capacity and therefore my body could do nothing but lay on a couch and become the proverbial potato. Ick.
The temperature eventually found it's way above 40 for a couple of days. Ice and snow melted and then BAM! it happened again. Ice and snow in morning commute hours which is enough to shut down our fair city in the blink of an eye. No school again. This time for just one day. This time Scott was only blessed with a delay. No one handled the isolation well though. The charm was gone. The shiny newness feeling you get as a kid when you look out on a yard blanketed by fresh snow completely avoided our house all together the second time around. When your ten year old says something like 'okay, I am starting to get bored with not going to school' you know it's bad. By the time my husband walked through the door that night I was practically crying with my need for a glass of wine.
The whole thing was a disaster. An entire week's worth of appointments and responsibilities got pushed a week or more and our schedules still haven't caught up. My house is still recovering from the constant wet and muddy footprints that trekked through for days on end. Since everything I cleaned was immediately muddy again, at some point I just stopped except for the necessary picking up of the kitchen to maintain my sanity. I am now slowly catching up again, but evidently not fast enough for my 3 yr old who started pointing out how dirty certain things are in here. I'm almost caught up on the laundry despite the frozen drain which caused a minor flood in the kitchen on day 2 of the madness. All is well now, but it seems that I can never quite get all of the laundry done at one time yet. Even my sweet niece's birthday card got out late because I couldn't get to the post office for a stamp or to the store for her gift card.
The original ice storm began around 3 a.m. on an early Tuesday morning. It had been in the high 70's that weekend. It's in the 70's again now. This is Texas for you. It's insane. However, there is a good chance that we are done with super cold for the year, which is awesome. No guarantee. We've been known to get a late burst of cold and even the white stuff. Last year we got several inches of snow dumped on us the last weekend of spring break in mid-March which was VERY strange. It melted almost immediately though and we were soon back in the 80's for the spring. But really, there is no reason to expect that it will be that cold again. At least, that's what I am forcing myself to focus on. We are now officially in the 2nd half of February, it's practically Spring here already. It's almost time to start planting stuff around here (at least I think so, but since I don't have a green thumb I couldn't swear by it).
I feel like February has been a blur so far with all the cold, white stuff ruining my schedule and mood, but it has been busy too.
During the crazy, Scott & Tyler got on the DART rail one afternoon and went down to the NFL Experience to do fun Super Bowl stuff which was even more special for my Packer-Fan son! They left here with Tyler decked out in Green & Gold and Scott wearing his Cowboy jacket. They did fun, football type stuff, took pictures, saw famous people, got interviewed by one tv station that wanted to know what Scott thought the economic impact of the ice storm would be on the super bowl (he didn't think there would be one), saw the Lombardi trophy up close and personal, etc. Someone from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel took about 2 dozen pictures of Tyler at the 'pretend you are in the draft' thingy, but we never found them on-line. My son came home with a very cool Super Bowl baseball cap. He wore it for a few days, but on the day of the actual game he wouldn't put it on until his Packers won, which they did!
Okay - little side note here about Tyler and football. He's always loved the Packers, but never really watched too much of any games. At the beginning of the season he was still saying to me that he didn't like to watch because he didn't really get it all, etc. Over the last season, he's watched more and more, gotten more into it and understood the game much better. Which culminated in him not missing one little second of the big game and running around here moaning 'Why? Why?' after not-so-great plays. And now he wants to play! We have spent the last 2 years trying to convince him to try another team sport with no luck, but when the Rangers went to the World Series he finally started talking about and then agreed to Baseball this spring. Packers go to the Super Bowl and he is ready for some Football. Cool.
Last week turned out to be 'Sterilization Week' in our house. Not intentionally. Brewer was already supposed to be done, but again - ice. The reschedule put 2 surgeries in 2 days because the cat place only did surgeries one day per month. So Monday morning the boys and I loaded Brewer in the van and drove to Denton and dropped off our hyperactive boy. When we picked him up and they said he couldn't run or jump for 7 days I wondered how exactly I was going to accomplish that feat. The pain meds helped. He was so drugged up that when he would walk into a couch or something with his big e-collar, he would just stand there and look at you without trying to un-stick himself. He looked like a moron, but I know he was just very high. Tuesday morning it was Kit Kat's turn. She was not happy to be in her carrier for the ride to Addison, but we managed. She was getting all her shots and screenings too. I was pretty happy to have everything done, until I got her home that evening and discovered one drawback to a high-volume, low-cost cat spay clinic. For the 2 inch incision on her side, they literally shaved the fur off of almost half of that side of her body. She looks ridiculous and it will take months to grow all the way back.
Riley's 3 year check up was also scheduled during the ice storm and got rescheduled for last Tuesday. After we dropped off the cat we all piled back in the van and headed out to Rockwall. The kids asked where we were going. Scooter asked if he could just NOT go and be dropped off at his grandparents. I was running ahead of schedule so I agreed. The boys didn't really get what we were doing with the pets. I would just say they were going to sleep and getting some shots they needed. But that morning while we were trekking across the metroplex my 3 yr old piped up from the back in this very scared little voice 'Mommy, Are you gonna drop me off at the doctor too?'. Ohhhh - poor thing. No way - you aren't a pet!
Somehow we managed to survive both the surgeries and the healing periods. Everyone is running around happy again and as a benefit to my sanity - sterile! No more kitty yowling like a baby in the middle of the night while in heat. Hopefully Brewer's dominance issues will begin to fade. And in the mean time, I even got to therapy and to work one day.
Since my heater couldn't keep up during the bitter cold, we started to do some serious research into exactly where our home was leaking air and keeping it from being anywhere near energy efficient. Even though you know those things are out there lingering, the central air and ceiling fans in the summer keep you from a pressing need to correct them when it's over 100 degrees outside. However, when you have spent almost 2 weeks walking around your home like an eskimo, you are ready to get to work. Scotty started scraping the dried, cracked and pathetic caulk from around our windows and replacing with very nice, new silicone. With the help of my dad, we pulled out the very unattractive door leading to garage with ugly and unnecessary window that was not only uninsulated and uneven, but it turns out not even attached to the house directly, just the mouldings. There is now a very beautiful and very energy efficient steel door in it's place (that opens out to my garage instead of in to be in the way of my pantry!! :) !!!) that is fully secure and fully insulated. And since I can't afford pretty (and double or triple paned) windows at the moment, I am going to try one of these films that you put on your windows to up the R-Value and supposedly reflect some of the suns rays. This will be a slower process and I won't see any results for a few months, but I am hoping that our efforts will lower my summer electric bill by a couple dozen dollars.
Oh! And I did make one small effort towards my next phase of remodeling - I painted the fireplace door. It was that old-school, ugly, almost brass looking stuff, but I didn't want to spend $300 to replace it. Instead, I taped everything off and spray-painted it a flat black. It was a good enough job that when Tyler came home on Sunday he thought that I got a new door. Really, it just looks less obtrusive since all the dark just blends together.
I am also really getting good at this coupon thing. I've had some great deals and my kids are getting quickly trained in the process. When Tyler sees the bags he asks 'How much did you save today?' and when Scooter thinks we need some new snacks he comes up to me to ask 'What do you have a coupon for?'. They have been very good for shopping on 'deal days' which means they can't ask me for anything at the stores because we are only there to get the deals. On 'grocery days' they can ask. We still use coupons on those days, but it's not as strict. On 'deal days' we are not buying anything that I am not getting for free or almost free. Actually my stock pile is starting to take shape and I almost feel weird about some of my purchases, but not enough to change course. For example, Scott & I both have several deodorants here for when we need them that I got for either free or less than 75 cents each. And yet, today I will be getting 2 more for Scott for 22 cents each and a free one for me and I just can't pass that up. We have plenty of body wash, toothpaste and deodorant for a while - guess we will smell good if nothing else! The whole process is pretty addictive, but so worth it. I am keeping a spreadsheet of what I am saving and for groceries and toiletries in the last month I have saved about $500 so far. Some of that savings is for the stockpile of things we don't need yet, but will. I will be grateful in a few months that I have tons of toothpaste on hand that I got for free so that I don't have to spend $4 later.
Valentines Day is over (insert sigh of relief) and we are well on our way to finishing out this short month. I have a couple more appointments to fit in this next week and then I will be doing one of my rare, but fun 'work weeks' for a sales convention of a locally based corporation (they are big, but I just signed a non-disclosure agreement this week so I can't say the name) to finish out February and begin March. It's a chance for me to make some extra money and get out of the house and away from the kids a little bit. Just enough to make me grateful again that I am home with my kids all the time!
So now you are caught up, I'm caught up - or at least I'm trying to be caught up. Back to real life. Back to stressing about things like why my husband and preteen cannot seem to close the bread bag after they remove a slice and whether or not Scooter is going to let the dentist check out his tooth to see if there is a cavity there or not. You know, the normal stuff. And really I'm just a breath away from planning 2 birthdays and figuring out Spring Break, Easter and Summer Vacation. Shew! Was there a break in there somewhere? I think I missed it!
Love ya! God Bless.
The temperature eventually found it's way above 40 for a couple of days. Ice and snow melted and then BAM! it happened again. Ice and snow in morning commute hours which is enough to shut down our fair city in the blink of an eye. No school again. This time for just one day. This time Scott was only blessed with a delay. No one handled the isolation well though. The charm was gone. The shiny newness feeling you get as a kid when you look out on a yard blanketed by fresh snow completely avoided our house all together the second time around. When your ten year old says something like 'okay, I am starting to get bored with not going to school' you know it's bad. By the time my husband walked through the door that night I was practically crying with my need for a glass of wine.
The whole thing was a disaster. An entire week's worth of appointments and responsibilities got pushed a week or more and our schedules still haven't caught up. My house is still recovering from the constant wet and muddy footprints that trekked through for days on end. Since everything I cleaned was immediately muddy again, at some point I just stopped except for the necessary picking up of the kitchen to maintain my sanity. I am now slowly catching up again, but evidently not fast enough for my 3 yr old who started pointing out how dirty certain things are in here. I'm almost caught up on the laundry despite the frozen drain which caused a minor flood in the kitchen on day 2 of the madness. All is well now, but it seems that I can never quite get all of the laundry done at one time yet. Even my sweet niece's birthday card got out late because I couldn't get to the post office for a stamp or to the store for her gift card.
The original ice storm began around 3 a.m. on an early Tuesday morning. It had been in the high 70's that weekend. It's in the 70's again now. This is Texas for you. It's insane. However, there is a good chance that we are done with super cold for the year, which is awesome. No guarantee. We've been known to get a late burst of cold and even the white stuff. Last year we got several inches of snow dumped on us the last weekend of spring break in mid-March which was VERY strange. It melted almost immediately though and we were soon back in the 80's for the spring. But really, there is no reason to expect that it will be that cold again. At least, that's what I am forcing myself to focus on. We are now officially in the 2nd half of February, it's practically Spring here already. It's almost time to start planting stuff around here (at least I think so, but since I don't have a green thumb I couldn't swear by it).
I feel like February has been a blur so far with all the cold, white stuff ruining my schedule and mood, but it has been busy too.
During the crazy, Scott & Tyler got on the DART rail one afternoon and went down to the NFL Experience to do fun Super Bowl stuff which was even more special for my Packer-Fan son! They left here with Tyler decked out in Green & Gold and Scott wearing his Cowboy jacket. They did fun, football type stuff, took pictures, saw famous people, got interviewed by one tv station that wanted to know what Scott thought the economic impact of the ice storm would be on the super bowl (he didn't think there would be one), saw the Lombardi trophy up close and personal, etc. Someone from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel took about 2 dozen pictures of Tyler at the 'pretend you are in the draft' thingy, but we never found them on-line. My son came home with a very cool Super Bowl baseball cap. He wore it for a few days, but on the day of the actual game he wouldn't put it on until his Packers won, which they did!
Okay - little side note here about Tyler and football. He's always loved the Packers, but never really watched too much of any games. At the beginning of the season he was still saying to me that he didn't like to watch because he didn't really get it all, etc. Over the last season, he's watched more and more, gotten more into it and understood the game much better. Which culminated in him not missing one little second of the big game and running around here moaning 'Why? Why?' after not-so-great plays. And now he wants to play! We have spent the last 2 years trying to convince him to try another team sport with no luck, but when the Rangers went to the World Series he finally started talking about and then agreed to Baseball this spring. Packers go to the Super Bowl and he is ready for some Football. Cool.
Last week turned out to be 'Sterilization Week' in our house. Not intentionally. Brewer was already supposed to be done, but again - ice. The reschedule put 2 surgeries in 2 days because the cat place only did surgeries one day per month. So Monday morning the boys and I loaded Brewer in the van and drove to Denton and dropped off our hyperactive boy. When we picked him up and they said he couldn't run or jump for 7 days I wondered how exactly I was going to accomplish that feat. The pain meds helped. He was so drugged up that when he would walk into a couch or something with his big e-collar, he would just stand there and look at you without trying to un-stick himself. He looked like a moron, but I know he was just very high. Tuesday morning it was Kit Kat's turn. She was not happy to be in her carrier for the ride to Addison, but we managed. She was getting all her shots and screenings too. I was pretty happy to have everything done, until I got her home that evening and discovered one drawback to a high-volume, low-cost cat spay clinic. For the 2 inch incision on her side, they literally shaved the fur off of almost half of that side of her body. She looks ridiculous and it will take months to grow all the way back.
Riley's 3 year check up was also scheduled during the ice storm and got rescheduled for last Tuesday. After we dropped off the cat we all piled back in the van and headed out to Rockwall. The kids asked where we were going. Scooter asked if he could just NOT go and be dropped off at his grandparents. I was running ahead of schedule so I agreed. The boys didn't really get what we were doing with the pets. I would just say they were going to sleep and getting some shots they needed. But that morning while we were trekking across the metroplex my 3 yr old piped up from the back in this very scared little voice 'Mommy, Are you gonna drop me off at the doctor too?'. Ohhhh - poor thing. No way - you aren't a pet!
Somehow we managed to survive both the surgeries and the healing periods. Everyone is running around happy again and as a benefit to my sanity - sterile! No more kitty yowling like a baby in the middle of the night while in heat. Hopefully Brewer's dominance issues will begin to fade. And in the mean time, I even got to therapy and to work one day.
Since my heater couldn't keep up during the bitter cold, we started to do some serious research into exactly where our home was leaking air and keeping it from being anywhere near energy efficient. Even though you know those things are out there lingering, the central air and ceiling fans in the summer keep you from a pressing need to correct them when it's over 100 degrees outside. However, when you have spent almost 2 weeks walking around your home like an eskimo, you are ready to get to work. Scotty started scraping the dried, cracked and pathetic caulk from around our windows and replacing with very nice, new silicone. With the help of my dad, we pulled out the very unattractive door leading to garage with ugly and unnecessary window that was not only uninsulated and uneven, but it turns out not even attached to the house directly, just the mouldings. There is now a very beautiful and very energy efficient steel door in it's place (that opens out to my garage instead of in to be in the way of my pantry!! :) !!!) that is fully secure and fully insulated. And since I can't afford pretty (and double or triple paned) windows at the moment, I am going to try one of these films that you put on your windows to up the R-Value and supposedly reflect some of the suns rays. This will be a slower process and I won't see any results for a few months, but I am hoping that our efforts will lower my summer electric bill by a couple dozen dollars.
Oh! And I did make one small effort towards my next phase of remodeling - I painted the fireplace door. It was that old-school, ugly, almost brass looking stuff, but I didn't want to spend $300 to replace it. Instead, I taped everything off and spray-painted it a flat black. It was a good enough job that when Tyler came home on Sunday he thought that I got a new door. Really, it just looks less obtrusive since all the dark just blends together.
I am also really getting good at this coupon thing. I've had some great deals and my kids are getting quickly trained in the process. When Tyler sees the bags he asks 'How much did you save today?' and when Scooter thinks we need some new snacks he comes up to me to ask 'What do you have a coupon for?'. They have been very good for shopping on 'deal days' which means they can't ask me for anything at the stores because we are only there to get the deals. On 'grocery days' they can ask. We still use coupons on those days, but it's not as strict. On 'deal days' we are not buying anything that I am not getting for free or almost free. Actually my stock pile is starting to take shape and I almost feel weird about some of my purchases, but not enough to change course. For example, Scott & I both have several deodorants here for when we need them that I got for either free or less than 75 cents each. And yet, today I will be getting 2 more for Scott for 22 cents each and a free one for me and I just can't pass that up. We have plenty of body wash, toothpaste and deodorant for a while - guess we will smell good if nothing else! The whole process is pretty addictive, but so worth it. I am keeping a spreadsheet of what I am saving and for groceries and toiletries in the last month I have saved about $500 so far. Some of that savings is for the stockpile of things we don't need yet, but will. I will be grateful in a few months that I have tons of toothpaste on hand that I got for free so that I don't have to spend $4 later.
Valentines Day is over (insert sigh of relief) and we are well on our way to finishing out this short month. I have a couple more appointments to fit in this next week and then I will be doing one of my rare, but fun 'work weeks' for a sales convention of a locally based corporation (they are big, but I just signed a non-disclosure agreement this week so I can't say the name) to finish out February and begin March. It's a chance for me to make some extra money and get out of the house and away from the kids a little bit. Just enough to make me grateful again that I am home with my kids all the time!
So now you are caught up, I'm caught up - or at least I'm trying to be caught up. Back to real life. Back to stressing about things like why my husband and preteen cannot seem to close the bread bag after they remove a slice and whether or not Scooter is going to let the dentist check out his tooth to see if there is a cavity there or not. You know, the normal stuff. And really I'm just a breath away from planning 2 birthdays and figuring out Spring Break, Easter and Summer Vacation. Shew! Was there a break in there somewhere? I think I missed it!
Love ya! God Bless.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
My Hero . . .
I spent a full day last April in a surgery waiting room at Children's Medical Center with my Aunt & Uncle, my Aunt's sister and my mother. It was one of those days that you are hoping for good news and dreading bad news. My teenage cousin, Veronica, had been put under and was in the care of a neurosurgeon to remove as much of a huge tumor that had been discovered pressing against her spine as possible. The tumor had given her pain for months that doctors had repeatedly said was muscle strain, right up until the moment that it literally began crippling her overnight.
I remember that my Aunt Lynda mentioned several times that the neurosurgeon wasn't very warm and friendly. I told her I thought that other doctors can be warm and fuzzy, but when it comes to a scalpel and your child's spine, that probably isn't a priority. You want the doctor to be clinical and nerdy and hard-core and proficient. You probably don't need him to be someone who holds your hand and makes you feel good. She agreed with me, but I think now it was just something to fret about while we waited.
We all had hope, but we also had dread. There was an unspoken thought among us that if the tumor was bad enough to keep her from walking it couldn't be good. If they were rushing this surgery before more tests, it couldn't be good. But we didn't say it out loud, not one of us. And then the surgeon came out and called Lynda and Greg into a room on their own. I think that Mom and Cheryl and I already knew at that point. After all, good news would have been given with a smile in front of us. When they came back my sweet relatives looked like they had been hit with stun guns. Their daughter, their youngest, their Veronica had Cancer.
We cried, we prayed and we began the fight. For some of us it was a war of prayer, organization and even manual labor to prepare their home for what was to come. For others it was endless driving back and forth, helping with Veronica's brother, overnight stays with Veronica in the hospital so that mom and dad could occasionally sleep at home. Her parents fought the battles of fear, and germs, and medical terms they wish they never heard and extreme exhaustion. Greg even had to face being a tutor for a homebound highschool student until she was assigned a homebound teacher. It has been an extremely long 9 months.
But it hasn't been longer for anyone than Veronica and her mother. Veronica's been poked and prodded and pumped full of so much medicine that she couldn't eat. She lost her hair (bad for anyone, but I think exceedingly hard for a teenage girl), missed countless events with her friends, spent weeks upon weeks in the hospital, faced major set backs in her physical therapy as she dealt with low counts thanks to her chemo. When it was determined that further surgery to remove the remainder of the tumor was not as advisable as other treatments, she received radiation every day for weeks during the summer months which eroded her body and made it painful to eat. She dropped weight dramatically from her already tiny frame.
And Lynda did what any mother would do. She kept on. She pushed Veronica when she had to and she held her when she needed it. And she suffered her daughter's pain ten-fold, wishing she could take it on herself. She prayed. She prayed that they could make it through all the treatments. They did. She prayed that her final scans would be good, because no one was talking about the chance that they wouldn't. The scans were Friday.
I got the call yesterday afternoon. Veronica had chosen her Aunt Mary (my mom) as one of her first phone calls. Her Aunt Mary had spent the night with her in the hospital many times. She had driven her to treatments when her parents schedule was full. She had spent the night with her brother when everyone else had to be somewhere else. My mother had stepped in for her little brother's family in ways that I can't begin to list here. Veronica had tons of support from friends and clergy and family, but I think besides her parents my mother and her Aunt Cheryl (Lynda's sister) have been the most present. Veronica practically screamed the results to my mother in her excitement. She is cancer free!
I knew the results were coming and I was praying and hoping for the best. I wasn't prepared for my own reaction though. I broke down sobbing in relief. I fell to my knees and prayed a prayer of thanksgiving like never before. Then I texted Veronica. We've watched so many people suffer, we've lost so many loved ones. We needed this victory. Even now, I am crying again.
My mother's heart has hurt all year - for Veronica, for Lynda, and for my own fears of what could befall my children. I've watched Lynda and Greg weather this storm and known that if it was me, I wouldn't be as strong. I wouldn't have as much poise and resolution. I would have trouble being so brave. It is a testament to their faith and how embedded that faith is in their children. Veronica just asked for prayer when she needed it, knowing that God would answer.
Veronica is my hero. To say she's gotten through this year without a grumble or complaint would be a lie. She's a teenager and her life was suspended this year. She's dealt with a lot of pain and discomfort and tests and procedures. She was certainly entitled to a few complaints. But for the most part, she's been extremely upbeat. She has had a faith in God that we can all learn from that she would be healed. Her attitude has been optimistic and confident at least 90% of the time, which for a 9 month period of greuling treatment is pretty impressive.
Veronica caught me on facebook chat one day and said simply that she wanted her old life back. I encouraged her and then got up to hug my kids. It made me just be grateful I have normal things to worry about like bedtime madness and whether or not my kids eat enough vegetables. Veronica's life has been anything but normal this year.
Veronica's attitude and faith are an inspiration to me. The fight isn't over. She has some residual swelling in her chest from the radiation. She faces a minor surgery to remove her chemo port. Now that she isn't faced with imminent hospital stays, she can focus on her physical therapy again and work on walking again (she does walk some, but uses her wheelchair for the most part). And the most greuling thing of all - she has a whole lot of 10th grade school work to catch up on so that when she goes back to school in the fall she can be a Junior with the rest of her friends. Yikes! But, I will never forget what I've learned from her - how to fight, how to believe. I've seen it in some of my adult friends, but this is the closest I've come to that kind of faith in a child. I hope I am giving my kids that kind of belief system. I hope they are getting it as wholly as Veronica has.
In the midst of your snow day today - take a minute to be grateful for your kids, for their health, for their spirits. Pray for their faith and their moral core, for the sanctity of their hearts and their innocence. And if you get an extra second - say another prayer of thanks for me, for my hero, Veronica.
Thanks, and God Bless!
I remember that my Aunt Lynda mentioned several times that the neurosurgeon wasn't very warm and friendly. I told her I thought that other doctors can be warm and fuzzy, but when it comes to a scalpel and your child's spine, that probably isn't a priority. You want the doctor to be clinical and nerdy and hard-core and proficient. You probably don't need him to be someone who holds your hand and makes you feel good. She agreed with me, but I think now it was just something to fret about while we waited.
We all had hope, but we also had dread. There was an unspoken thought among us that if the tumor was bad enough to keep her from walking it couldn't be good. If they were rushing this surgery before more tests, it couldn't be good. But we didn't say it out loud, not one of us. And then the surgeon came out and called Lynda and Greg into a room on their own. I think that Mom and Cheryl and I already knew at that point. After all, good news would have been given with a smile in front of us. When they came back my sweet relatives looked like they had been hit with stun guns. Their daughter, their youngest, their Veronica had Cancer.
We cried, we prayed and we began the fight. For some of us it was a war of prayer, organization and even manual labor to prepare their home for what was to come. For others it was endless driving back and forth, helping with Veronica's brother, overnight stays with Veronica in the hospital so that mom and dad could occasionally sleep at home. Her parents fought the battles of fear, and germs, and medical terms they wish they never heard and extreme exhaustion. Greg even had to face being a tutor for a homebound highschool student until she was assigned a homebound teacher. It has been an extremely long 9 months.
But it hasn't been longer for anyone than Veronica and her mother. Veronica's been poked and prodded and pumped full of so much medicine that she couldn't eat. She lost her hair (bad for anyone, but I think exceedingly hard for a teenage girl), missed countless events with her friends, spent weeks upon weeks in the hospital, faced major set backs in her physical therapy as she dealt with low counts thanks to her chemo. When it was determined that further surgery to remove the remainder of the tumor was not as advisable as other treatments, she received radiation every day for weeks during the summer months which eroded her body and made it painful to eat. She dropped weight dramatically from her already tiny frame.
And Lynda did what any mother would do. She kept on. She pushed Veronica when she had to and she held her when she needed it. And she suffered her daughter's pain ten-fold, wishing she could take it on herself. She prayed. She prayed that they could make it through all the treatments. They did. She prayed that her final scans would be good, because no one was talking about the chance that they wouldn't. The scans were Friday.
I got the call yesterday afternoon. Veronica had chosen her Aunt Mary (my mom) as one of her first phone calls. Her Aunt Mary had spent the night with her in the hospital many times. She had driven her to treatments when her parents schedule was full. She had spent the night with her brother when everyone else had to be somewhere else. My mother had stepped in for her little brother's family in ways that I can't begin to list here. Veronica had tons of support from friends and clergy and family, but I think besides her parents my mother and her Aunt Cheryl (Lynda's sister) have been the most present. Veronica practically screamed the results to my mother in her excitement. She is cancer free!
I knew the results were coming and I was praying and hoping for the best. I wasn't prepared for my own reaction though. I broke down sobbing in relief. I fell to my knees and prayed a prayer of thanksgiving like never before. Then I texted Veronica. We've watched so many people suffer, we've lost so many loved ones. We needed this victory. Even now, I am crying again.
My mother's heart has hurt all year - for Veronica, for Lynda, and for my own fears of what could befall my children. I've watched Lynda and Greg weather this storm and known that if it was me, I wouldn't be as strong. I wouldn't have as much poise and resolution. I would have trouble being so brave. It is a testament to their faith and how embedded that faith is in their children. Veronica just asked for prayer when she needed it, knowing that God would answer.
Veronica is my hero. To say she's gotten through this year without a grumble or complaint would be a lie. She's a teenager and her life was suspended this year. She's dealt with a lot of pain and discomfort and tests and procedures. She was certainly entitled to a few complaints. But for the most part, she's been extremely upbeat. She has had a faith in God that we can all learn from that she would be healed. Her attitude has been optimistic and confident at least 90% of the time, which for a 9 month period of greuling treatment is pretty impressive.
Veronica caught me on facebook chat one day and said simply that she wanted her old life back. I encouraged her and then got up to hug my kids. It made me just be grateful I have normal things to worry about like bedtime madness and whether or not my kids eat enough vegetables. Veronica's life has been anything but normal this year.
Veronica's attitude and faith are an inspiration to me. The fight isn't over. She has some residual swelling in her chest from the radiation. She faces a minor surgery to remove her chemo port. Now that she isn't faced with imminent hospital stays, she can focus on her physical therapy again and work on walking again (she does walk some, but uses her wheelchair for the most part). And the most greuling thing of all - she has a whole lot of 10th grade school work to catch up on so that when she goes back to school in the fall she can be a Junior with the rest of her friends. Yikes! But, I will never forget what I've learned from her - how to fight, how to believe. I've seen it in some of my adult friends, but this is the closest I've come to that kind of faith in a child. I hope I am giving my kids that kind of belief system. I hope they are getting it as wholly as Veronica has.
In the midst of your snow day today - take a minute to be grateful for your kids, for their health, for their spirits. Pray for their faith and their moral core, for the sanctity of their hearts and their innocence. And if you get an extra second - say another prayer of thanks for me, for my hero, Veronica.
Thanks, and God Bless!
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